Eleven
“You belong here, Nash. Don’t fuck it up by worrying.”
“You’re pretty great,” I told her.
“I know. I tell people that all the time.”
Once they were gone, I was making myself tea and asked Viola if she’d like some.
“What kind do you have?”
I listed the teas I got from Caitlyn’s favorite store, and she settled on a vanilla Earl Grey. As it steeped, I noticed her staring.
“You have questions, I have answers.”
Quick exhale and then she dove right in. “We brought Quinn with us because of course she was interested in Luke, especially after she got divorced, and then he did, and last year when we were here, everyone—him, the kids—all looked so sad and wrung out.”
I nodded.
“And the wound was fresher then, but, Nash, I came out this past summer, and no one ate at the table, there was no talking, just Tatum standing up eating at the island, Dar and Griff watching TV, Luke in his office… It was awful.”
Leaning against the counter, I held her gaze.
“But now, holy crap!”
I smiled at her wording.
“There was laughing at the table, talking, and my goodness, but that conversation between the kids and their grandfather…that wouldn’t have had a good outcome before.”
“Yes, but you’re both in therapy, so are the kids, and the only one who hasn’t started yet is Luke, but supposedly he’s going next week.”
“Which is wonderful, but, sweetheart, I’m not a stupid woman.” She crossed her arms. “Do you think I somehow missed that my son took a seat right next to you, could not seem to keep himself from touching you, and constantly watches you?”
“I think that?—”
“My son has never shown any interest in men before, so I can assume that it’s you, Nash Miller, and you alone who has all his interest.”
“It’s too soon to tell.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
Holding her gaze, I was surprised at the warmth there.
“He loved Caitlyn so much, but I could also see when it began to wane, and it was before she slept with another man. They grew apart first, and it’s good for my soul to see him so happy again.”
“He’s not sure what he wants at the moment,” I said honestly. “We have to wait and see.”
“I suspect he’s figured it out, dear.”
“It’s a bigger jump than you think.”
She squinted at me. “Is it?”
“Isn’t it? I mean, do you want your son in a relationship with a man?”
“I want my son in a relationship with someone he’s crazy about and someone his kids are crazy about. I’m thinking you check all the boxes.”
“Wait now, it’s not all?—”
“This house is a home again, Nash. I could feel it when I walked in the door. While we were shopping, Tatum told me story after story about you. She was all Nash said this, and Nash did that, and Nash thinks she’s funny and smart.”
“I do think she’s funny and smart.”
“And you got Griff out of police custody and saved a kitten, and Darwin is so happy, he’s doing more than reading and studying. He informed me he’s allowed in Griff’s room again and that they play video games. It was really nice to hear.”
I poured her tea and placed before her, half-and-half, sugar, and slices of lemon.
“Thank you,” she said, smiling at me. “I also understand you’re teaching him to enjoy jazz.”
“It’s what gets played at dinner, but they’re all allowed to change it to whatever they like.”
“But no one has.”
“Not yet.”
“And I understand there are no phones at the dinner table, and you all talk about your day.”
“It’s not perfect,” I told her. “Don’t make it sound like it is.”
She nodded.
“I want the best thing for this family, and I’m still not convinced that’s me.”
“It seems to me that worrying if you are the best thing is a fairly strong indicator that, in fact, you are,” she stated, studying me.
I smiled at her. “You’re a romantic.”
“Always have been.”
The door to the garage opened then, and Luke and his father came through. Viola offered to make them some tea, and I excused myself to go check on the kids. Once that was done, I went upstairs to the attic to add some notes to the case file. When I heard some creaking, I turned, and there was Luke.
“What’re you doing up here?” I asked him.
“You’re up here,” he said like it was a stupid question.
Getting up, I gestured for him to move. “Well, let’s go back down and talk to?—”
“My mother likes you,” he said, stepping in front of me so I couldn’t walk to the door. “So does my father.”
“Your mother, maybe,” I replied, grinning. “Your father is probably not crazy about me grabbing his wrist when?—”
“No,” he murmured, stepping into me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “He likes people who stand up to him.”
I couldn’t help but press my face into his hair. It smelled like citrus and mint, and I had to breathe in the scent. And because all I wanted was to be close to him, I leaned into him and clutched him tight.
“That’s better,” he sighed.
“I’m trying to give you space to figure out what it is you want from me.”
“I know what I want,” he husked. “You don’t have to stand there and think, Could he ever love me? Because c’mon, Nash, that part is easy.”
“Love is never easy.”
“Sure it is,” he countered, tipping his head back to stare into my eyes. “I love you, that I know. I have from the first day when I walked in and realized everything had changed.”
“That’s gratitude, not?—”
“Stop fighting. Stop arguing with every word out of my mouth,” he insisted, taking hold of my sides. “I’m in this, all right? I’m invested.”
I stayed silent as he tightened his hold.
“I think of you as being here, with me, as my partner now.”
His partner.
“I want to touch you and kiss you…and the rest is new, but not. I’ve just never imagined doing any of that with a man before.”
“Okay,” I murmured, smiling at him.
“See, when you look at me like that, I want you to kiss me.”
“You might need to tell your kids first.”
“Yes,” he agreed.
“They might not want that, and you have to be ready. It’s one thing for them to want me here. It’s another to want me here with their father.”
“I don’t think you?—”
“What’s happening?”
Turning, I saw Tatum standing by the racks of clothes, arms crossed.
When I tried to step free of Luke, he wrapped his arms around my waist again and kissed my jaw. “I want Nash to stay here with us.”
She sucked in her breath, her eyes widened, and I was worried about what was going through her head. “You said he was going to stay, but I wasn’t sure for how long, so what do you mean? Do you mean forever?” she asked Luke, biting her bottom lip. “Like, he wouldn’t ever go back to Chicago?”
“That’s what I mean.”
“And movers would go and pack up all his stuff and bring it here to our house and then it would be Nash’s house too?”
“Yes,” he affirmed, letting me go and facing her, but making sure to take my hand in his and squeeze tight.
“And he would sleep with you and not in the guest room or up here in the attic?”
“Yes.”
Her gaze met mine. “You already said I was yours, and now it would be true forever.”
“You told her she was yours?”
“What I said was?—”
“Why did you have me all worried?” he snapped, yanking his hand out of mine and whacking me in the abdomen.
“This hurts more than you think,” I groaned, bending over. The man was far more powerful than he looked, and really, this was not a good habit for him to get into.
“Daddy!” Tatum was horrified and rushed to my side, her hand in my hair, brushing it back out of my eyes. “What did we say about this?” She sounded so grown up.
“I––”
“We do not hit in this house,” she reminded him, glaring. “You’re acting like Grampy and that’s not good.”
He exhaled sharply. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “Don’t tell me, tell Nash.”
He had been penitent with his daughter, but when he turned to me, he was scowling. “I probably won’t hit you again.”
“That was terrible,” she assured him.
“We will figure the us part out,” he growled, his words for me, starting to pace. “There’s just the mechanics and…but the important piece, the love, that’s already there, at least for me.”
“You have no idea what you’re?—”
“I have a question,” Tatum announced.
“Go ahead,” Luke prodded, hearing her but ignoring me.
“Nash is bisexual. Are you bisexual too?”
His eyes flicked to me and then back to his daughter. “I think it’s different for me. I want Nash to live with us because he’s Nash.”
She nodded. “Like I love Wink because he’s Wink, not because he’s a black cat, even though that’s cool.”
He nodded. “Exactly.”
“I’m glad you love Nash, Daddy, and you don’t have to worry, he won’t ever leave us.”
“How do you know?” he asked her as I straightened up, scowling at him.
“He loves us, and he makes everything better.”
“You’re right,” Luke said, stepping in close and cupping my cheek. “He does make everything better.”
The man was irresistible. When he smiled and leaned in, I met his mouth with mine and took the kiss I wanted. Tatum’s long happy sigh made me smile as his hands went to the sides of my neck and he held on, making sure I couldn’t pull away.
“Already mine,” he whispered, and when I opened my eyes, I was startled by the resoluteness I saw in his.
I cleared my throat, and Tatum looked up at me. “The boys might not be as happy as you, love. I don’t want you to be upset if they’re not.”
“You’re wrong. They’ll be happy. We’ve all been super worried about whenever it was you would be going, but now you have to stay.”
“Why do I have to?”
“Because we love you, and Daddy does too.”
Hard to argue with her logic.
Once she left us, charging down the stairs, reminding her father that he had to go back to the kitchen soon because his parents were there visiting—she really was very bossy—I turned to him and found him grinning, appearing quite pleased with himself.
“The boys will be different,” I told him.
“Because?”
“They judge themselves by you, so you have to be prepared.”
“I know,” he agreed, starting for the door. “But we’re going to worry about that later. Right now, I want you to come downstairs with me. I want to show you where you’re going to be sleeping later tonight.”