Chapter 22
PACE – MID-OCTOBER
Friend Zone
I offer to read Nelson to sleep to let Annie start work on her project. He’s getting as comfortable around me as I am around him.
When I come back downstairs from putting him to bed, Annie’s on the sofa with her laptop and a couple notebooks. Betty has already taken off to her room to relax with a series she’s streaming.
“Did he go down alright?” Annie asks. Her hair is in a messy bundle on top of her head and she’s wearing a tiny pair of shorts with a Bears pullover. Bronzed legs are crossed beneath her, and there’s something about the way her neck is exposed above my team’s kit.
God, give me strength to get through this slow and beautiful torture.
“Luckily, he fell asleep before I got to the big words,” I tell her, enjoying her amusement in response.
“Thank you. Let me get out of your hair so you can chill on the sofa.” She starts packing up.
“Don’t be crazy,” I say. “You stay. I want to watch some tape. I can do that next to you. Unless I’ll disturb you?”
“This is your house, Tanner.”
“Great. So we’ll do our homework together.”
“Study buddies?”
“Study buddies.”
Friend zone.
I grab my tablet and come to sit beside her.
I never do get into the tape though, because she is a distraction.
Not because she’s typing or occasionally talking to herself – which is cute as hell – but because she’s chewing on the end of her pen, drawing my attention to her lips, and every so often, she creaks that long neck and rolls her shoulders back, pressing parts of her anatomy into her pullover – parts that I know are smokin’ because I saw them in her swimsuit two days ago.
Adjusting myself in my bottoms, telling my brain to fire a message down there that no good will come of me crushing on Quinn’s kid sister, I wonder when this happened. How did this creep up on me? And why have I moved her into my house if my member can’t control himself?
I am not what Annie needs or wants.
Startling me, she closes the lid of her laptop and sets it to one side.
“Alright, what’s going on with you today? You haven’t watched any tape for the last hour and as far as I can see you’re just staring into space.”
I’m staring at you.
“I’ve only been in your house for a couple days but I’m willing to bet something is eating you. So, how’re you doin’, Tanner Pace?”
She mimics my deep voice as she uses my own words against me. It’s not until she asks that I realize maybe I’ve been focusing on her to distract myself from my meeting with Coach today. That would be the best outcome here. Rationalize the ogling. It’s not a crush.
Like her, I set my device aside, then rub my beard and tell her, “Between us for now, Tommy Thieriot is done.”
“Out for the season?”
I shake my head. “For good. He’s at risk of paralysis if he gets hit. So that’s it. One of the best quarterbacks in the league and just like that, his career’s over.”
“I’m sorry, Tanner. And so sorry for Tommy and his family.”
“We’re always one injury away from being done but it hits hard. He’s a good friend and a great player.”
“Have you spoken to him?”
“He doesn’t want to talk yet, so I’ll honor that for a while. Then, I don’t know, try to get him down to the Alamo with the guys when the time’s right.”
“Is it making you contemplate your own career?”
“Selfishly, yeah. I’ve spent my whole life focused on football. Injury or no injury, I’m thirty-four and don’t have many more games in me. Tommy has a whole family to support him and all I’ve got is a big house and five nice cars in the driveway.”
God, what am I complaining about? I chose this life and it’s a fucking great one. Annie has been through the mill lately and I’m moping about something that hasn’t even happened yet.
“Anyway, tell me what you’re up to.”
She hesitates, watching me as if she wants to continue the conversation, but I’m done. Today has been about Tommy. Annie staying here is about her and giving her some slack for a few days.
Eventually, she says, “I’m doing research for my project and preparing the outline. I need to come up with an original element.”
“An original element for a sports psychology project. What about the guys?”
“What about them?”
“You could interview them, get their take on how life was as a kid destined to become a pro. There are some real daddy issues in the team.”
She scoffs. “It would be good to see how daddy issues affect a child.”
I hold out my hands. “You can dwell on them and let them ruin your life, or you can use them to drive you forward. I’m case in point.”
“Could I interview you? Anonymously, obviously.”
“I’m cool with that. How many other guys do you need me to get on board?”
She sits up straighter, excited. As she does, her bare legs rock against mine.
It’s the smallest of touches, yet adrenalin courses through every part of me.
Flashes of her in my arms at the spring dance, sitting astride my knee in the car, looking into my eyes in the storm, pressed against me in her swimwear, they flood my brain.
My body is heavy, drawn to her with an urge to drop her down to the sofa and taste every part of her.
“Twenty interviews all in would be a great number,” she says.
I’m in fucking trouble here. Feigning a cough, I drag a sofa cushion across my lap. “Consider it done.”
“Will they say yes?”
I lean my head to one side, hoping she can’t see the heat running up my neck and cheeks because my thoughts are… so fucking hot. “Annie, I’m Tanner Pace, offensive captain. This is my rodeo, baby.”
She throws her head back with a hearty guffaw and now I’m the one biting down on my lip, to stop me from leaning forward and pressing my mouth just under her lobe, her jaw, the nook at the base of her neck.
“You’re arrogant as hell, baby.”
“It’s a hazard of greatness,” I tell her, thinking that if this was any other woman, in any other circumstances, I would have already lost my self-control and fucked us both into tomorrow.
She picks up a sofa cushion and throws it at me. “Speaking of rodeos. Your sister is riding tonight. Can we put it on?”
I check my watch. “It’s about time for it. I’ll grab the popcorn.”
“Popcorn?” she asks, locating the TV controller. “What would Aaron say to that?”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” And I need a second out of this lounge to give Pace Junior a fucking talking to.
“A motto for life, if ever I heard one,” she calls as I go. My mind jumps right to her brother. Nope, don’t even go there.
“How was college today?” I ask, changing the subject when I return.
“Great, actually. Only 80 percent of the campus population stared at me like I have ten heads. A vast improvement.”
I try not to find humor in her plight but her sarcasm makes me smirk. I’m functioning like a man with control over his testosterone again – it only took five minutes with my dick in the refrigerator.
“Remarkable, really, given all the added media attention around Auston, Colton and me and our domestic love-hate triangle ahead of the game this weekend.”
It’s been a lot; I’ve seen and heard it. I watched as the press stoked Quinn like a fire in our media time this week. But he handled it like a pro – like Colton – unemotional, turned it back to the game.
I’m not sure what else I can do – I can’t make it go away, as much as I’ve tried to shield her from it and distract her – so I drape an arm around her shoulder and tug her into my big bear frame.
It isn’t intended to be romantic or leading; it’s a friend, putting an arm around another friend, trying to tell her that she’s tough, and this will pass. But I can’t deny how nice it feels to have her curl against my side, her hand on my stomach as we watch the rodeo.
Like chanting a mantra on repeat, I keep reminding myself of the list of reasons I can’t let myself fall for Annie.
We’re a half hour into the competition and my sister hasn’t ridden yet when Annie blurts out, “Auston messaged me today.”
How’s that for a timely reminder not to fall for this girl? I’m starting to think Annie enjoys me choking on her words.
I’d like to say, Why? Or He’d better have been fucking groveling, but I’m not sure either is the correct response, so I wait for her to tell me more, actively unfurling my fists.
“He apologized,” she says. “His changes of direction give me whiplash.”
“What did you do?”
“So far, I’ve dealt with the issue like a grown-up.”
“You’ve ignored him?”
“Yep.”
She pushes up from my chest and tucks her legs beneath her.
I shift until we’re facing each other, elbows resting on the back of the sofa, hands propping up temples – a mirror image of each other.
“He said he wants to try again. To meet Nelson and me. But I think he probably wants to reset the narrative in the media ahead of the game. I’ve tried to tune out the noise this week but I know how much negative attention he’s getting. ”
“Deservedly so,” I can’t help but say.
“Do you think I should meet him? Give him one last chance? If I do and it ends up the same again, do people say I told you so or call me a bunny boiler, again? If I don’t, then what, am I taking away the opportunity for Nelson to have a daddy?”
It takes all my willpower not to reach out and touch her but that’s not what she needs when she’s talking about a guy screwing her over.
The very last thing she needs is another one who shouldn’t be trying to get into her head.
But there’s a very real voice in my head, a devil on my shoulder, screaming jealous thoughts.
I don’t want Annie to have anything to do with Auston because… I can’t stand the thought of her going back to him. But he’s a man she once loved, the father of her child, the reason above all others that Annie isn’t free and single, available.
“No one can make this decision for you, Annie. Not me, or Colton, not your daddy or even Auston, and not a bunch of people you’ve never met. You’re shouldering the weight of the world. A little boy’s life. Only you know what to do for the best.”
I hesitate as my next words form, questioning my motive.
“Someday, Nelson will use all this in an argument against you, and you’ll have to put your shoulders back and cry on the toilet seat behind the bathroom door.
One day, you’ll wonder if he’d have been different for the better if he’d had his dad around, and you’ll have to accept that you’ll never know.
But for what it’s worth, I’m sure I turned out better for not having my dad around. ”
I watch her shoulders sag, wishing I could make this easier on her. “Annie, if Auston can’t see what’s on offer, he’s an idiot.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. At some point a boy becomes a man and no matter what’s gone before, a man decides his own future.
No excuses. This is all on Auston. His failings.
His poor decisions. Don’t let him treat you badly because you think you ought to for the benefit of other people.
You’re worth so much more than some dumbass jock. ”
She’s silent for a while, reading me like a book, I fear. But I didn’t say any of that for my own benefit. I want what’s right for Annie. I know that’s not me but I’m damn sure it’s not Auston Rogers either.
“Thank you,” she says eventually. I’m not sure which part she’s thanking me for but she leans back into me, curling into my side again and holding on to me.
Friendly. Friends do this. Last season, I’d sit on the sofa and let Sas flop her feet over me or vice-versa while we talked or watched something on TV.
It’s the same thing.
“Ah, here’s my girl,” Annie says, patting my stomach when Darcy comes onto the screen, sitting atop her mare, cowgirl hat in place and the belt buckle that I know is engraved KTD Pace – Kelsey, Tanner, Darcy Pace – the three musketeers. We never needed a deadbeat dad. We turned out okay.
Darcy ropes like the champ she is and right after she wins the night, I message her to tell her that. Then she reminds me of her meet in Dallas in a couple weeks, which happens to coincide with the Bears’ bye weekend and I take every opportunity I can to see my sister in action.
It gives me a great idea to surprise Annie.
First, the Bears have an important game to get through this coming weekend.