Chapter 47
PACE – EARLY DECEMBER
I Want to Date Your Sister
I’m in for a half time roasting from Coach and I deserve it.
I’m letting my quarterback down – and since the trade with Auston is on hold, we’ve got some time now to make things right for Lamar.
But this isn’t how to do it, by failing my offense, all the damn team and staff because I can’t keep my head in the game.
Between every play I’m looking into the stands as if Annie might appear in Washington and sit among the friends and family, next to Sas and the rest of the Harris fam – her mom and dad, and her brothers Jax and TJ who’ve got a night off hockey.
Sas’s words have been playing repeatedly in my mind.
I need to take a risk and put myself out there.
I have been afraid. I’ve spent months telling myself all the reasons Annie and I can’t or shouldn’t be together and I’ve overlooked the truth – I’m terrified of being rejected and that I’m not capable of being a good father or a husband.
I want it all, with Annie Quinn.
“Sit your asses down,” Coach yells. He’s kept the usual cameras and film crews outside the locker room, which means we’re in for it, especially me. “This offense has dodged a bullet this week.”
He means since the trade with Auston didn’t come off before the deadline. Thank fuck.
“You’re playing like you’ve lost your heads!
Where’s the team that was winning games with grit and grind, huh?
Where’d those guys go? We’ve gotta get tighter on the defense and we’ve got to keep possession on the offense.
Back to basics. Run the routes we train for day in, day out.
Lamar, if your first choice isn’t open, kid, you’ve got to make something of it yourself.
We’re in a dog fight, there’ll be no let up from the Washington defense. ”
Here it comes. “Pace! I haven’t seen your head so far up your goddamned ass in thirteen seasons. What’s going on with you? Are you injured?”
“No, Coach.” But my heart is fucking breaking and my head is pounding. “Then tell yourself what you’ve gotta tell yourself. Do whatever the hell you’ve gotta do to get your head, your ass and those goddamn hands back on the ball!”
With that, Coach storms from the room and we all fall quiet. I look at Quinn sitting next to me and see the expectation in his expression. This is my time to step up. I’m a captain and Lamar doesn’t have the presence in the locker room yet that I do.
I rub my hands down my thighs, trying to think of anything to say, but before I can be here for the team, I’ve got to do the one thing that will clear my head.
I’ve got to be honest with Colton and find out how he’ll react. I zone out everyone else…
“Quinn, I’ve got to tell you something and I’m just gonna say it because you’re not going to like it but I can’t— Fuck. I— Fuck it. I want to date your sister. I have no fucking idea if it’s what she wants but I hope it is.”
Now my heart isn’t tearing apart, it’s tear-assing like it’s on a racing track.
Jackhammering under my ribs so hard it could break through my pads.
Quinn stands and pulls on his gloves, watching his hands.
I hear indecipherable whispers, sense-held breaths and understand entirely when someone says, “Ohhhhhhh shit.”
I don’t dare look but I know all eyes will be on our scene. Even the staff are as still as The Mustangs of Las Colinas. We all know what went down between Quinn and Auston. We know how fiercely he loves and protects his sister. I’m braced for what comes.
“Are you asking me or telling me?” He clenches his fists in his gloves, staring at them as he does.
I’ve sat back on this, what I want, for months. Drawing in a breath, I stand to face him. “I’m telling you. I love her. I’ve tried not to but I do. I’m crazy about her.”
He finally looks at me, stone-faced in that Quinn way. I brace for impact, then he says, “It’s about fucking time.”
My eyes widen. “You’re not pissed?”
“I’ll be pissed if you hurt her, yeah. But I’ve seen you guys together and I know how much you care about each other. I know how much you care about my nephew. And hell, who am I to talk about falling for someone you shouldn’t, right?”
“Right.” The fuck?! He’s okay with this? Quinn is cool with me making a move on Annie.
So what’s stopping me now? I rake a hand through my sweat-wet hair. “How should I tell her?”
“Come on, man. I’m not telling you how to come on to my sister.”
Finally, the tension in the locker room lifts and there’s laughter among banter and jibes. My lips turn up after what’s felt like a long time of not smiling. “Yeah, that’s fair.”
Quinn holds out his arms, muscles taut. “Now that’s out of the way, can you pull your head out of your ass long enough for us to go win this game?”
I smirk, then hold out my hand to him. He grips mine and smiles. “Let’s do it.”
We did win. We beat Washington thirty-one to twenty-one, despite the Bears’ kickoff and Washington’s first drive of the second half leading to a touchdown.
After that, Washington didn’t have much possession.
Lamar smoked almost every play. Quinn, Omar and I each scored a touchdown.
The crowd was lively. It was one of the best second halves of football I’ve played in.
If we keep it up, maybe this season won’t go entirely to crap.
Now, I’m sitting on the flight home, too wired to sleep, so I’m playing poker with a few of the guys to distract me from overthinking this whole thing with Annie.
When do I tell her? How shit-scared am I about her response?
Am I doing the right thing by telling her?
Can I take it back if she’s not feeling the same?
Did I ruin it anyway at Nelson’s party? Is this the right move for Nelson?
I love the kid but am I cut out to be a dad?
Does Annie even want to play house with me?
Haven’t we been playing house for months now?
I swear my head is going to explode.
I was buzzed after blurting everything out in the locker room at half time. Despite how much stick I’ve copped for it from the guys, it felt like a weight was lifted, a huge hurdle surmounted.
“Pace, you’re the big blind.”
I’ve lost another hand. I toss my chip onto the table. God knows how much the guys have rinsed me for on this flight.
“He’s thinking about Quinn’s sister again,” Terry says. “Oh, Annie Quinn, take me to bed.”
“Shut the fuck up, Terry.”
He chuckles. “Sorry, man, it’s just hard to believe that Tanner Pace, legendary keeper of at least one woman’s number in every state, has fallen for someone.”
I swig from my can of club soda. “I didn’t know Annie existed.”
Jad tells me, “That’s because she didn’t, Pace, not until your balls were already dropping.”
“Shut the fuck up, Jad.”
They start taking the piss again, so I finish the game and head to my own seat, cap pulled down over my face, headphones on, chewing over everything some more.
I’m exhausted. My body is sore. My head is all over the place.
But I do know that I feel empty without Annie and Nelson.
It’s the early hours of the morning when we land and I don’t expect to get a response for hours but I send a message.
Me
Can I see you, Annie? I want to apologize properly and I’ve got a few more things I’d like to say, in person x
Hell, if it wasn’t a crazy hour, I’d drive straight from the airport to see her at the ranch but I’m over pussyfooting around this, us.
When I park at home, the house is in darkness. I let myself in and dump my bag by the door.
“Night lights on,” I say into the open space.
What I find when the low orange hue turns on is more unexpected than Goldilocks sleeping in the Bears’ house. There’s an angel sleeping on my sofa.