Chapter 51
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
acelynn
The kitchen smelled faintly of garlic and roasted chicken, the leftovers of dinner clinging to the air.
A single bulb flickered above the table, its yellow light casting sickly shadows over the linoleum floor.
I sat with my elbows braced against the wood, pencil in hand, trying to focus on the half-finished homework in front of me.
The numbers swam, my handwriting uneven from how tightly I was gripping the pencil.
All I could think about was the folded paper burning a hole in the bottom of my backpack.
A history test that had a huge sixty-four written out on the top.
Not the worst thing in the world. Kids failed tests all the time.
But to me it felt catastrophic, as though it spelled out in red ink just how inadequate I was.
It had been sitting there all Thanksgiving break, taunting me from its cage.
Alec would have told me to shrug it off, reminded me that school was only one part of my life, and grades didn’t define me.
Alec always knew how to make failures feel like they didn’t matter.
But Alec wasn’t here.
It was just me and Dad.
He sat across from me, the newspaper stretching wide in his hands.
A cigarette smoldered between his fingers, curling smoke into the air.
His glass of whiskey sat untouched, but his gaze flicked over the newsprint without really taking anything in.
The silence pressed heavily, like the whole room was waiting.
“Emersyn,” he said suddenly, his voice sharp enough to cut.
I jumped. “Yes?”
“Bring me your schoolbag.”
My blood ran cold. I looked toward the bag slouched against the counter, its zipper half open. The test was inside, folded, and hidden. My first instinct was to lie, to say it was in my room, to buy myself time. But his tone left no room for excuses.
“Yes, sir.”
The scrape of my chair against the tile echoed too loudly as I stood. My legs felt weak as I crossed the room, kneeling to unzip the bag. The paper was there, wedged between notebooks, and I pulled it out with shaking hands. When I turned back, he was already watching me.
“Give it here.”
I stepped forward, setting it on the table. He didn’t look at it at first—just at me, his eyes flat and cold. Then slowly he picked it up, unfolded it, and studied the grade circled in red.
“Sixty-four.”
My voice cracked. “It was a hard test.”
“Hard?” His voice was deceptively calm, almost quiet. “Is that what you tell yourself? That life is hard, so failure is excusable?”
“No, I—”
The slap came before I could finish. His palm connected with my cheek in a crack that reverberated through the kitchen.
My head snapped to the side, tears springing instantly to my eyes.
I gasped, my hand flying up to cover the hot sting.
I turned slowly back to him, my vision blurring. He had never hit me before. Never.
“D-Dad?” My voice trembled, disbelief choking me.
“You listen to me.” He leaned forward, his voice suddenly thunderous. “Failure is not an option for a Spade. Do you hear me?”
My heart hammered so hard I thought it might break. “It’s just a test—”
His fist slammed down on the table, rattling the ashtray, making the lightbulb above sway. “It is not just a test. It is proof you do not understand who you are. Proof you don’t understand the code.”
“The…code?” I whispered, wide-eyed.
“Yes.” His gaze bored into mine, terrifying in its intensity. “The Spade family code. Family before all. Debt must be repaid. Betrayal is punished by death. That is who you are. That is what you will live by.”
The words struck me harder than his hand had. My mouth went dry.
“I don’t—”
“You will learn.” He shoved the paper aside, scattering pencils and notebooks across the table. His hand shot out, gripping my chin hard enough to bruise, and forcing my eyes up to his, his voice a growl. “Say it. Family before all.”
I shook, the words catching in my throat. “F-Family before all.”
“Again!”
“Family before all!”
“Debt must be repaid.”
“Debt must be repaid.”
“Betrayal—”
The door banged open.
“Dad!”
Alec’s voice cut through the room. He strode in, still in his practice hoodie, sweat darkening his collar. His eyes locked on the way Dad’s hand gripped my chin, on the tears streaking my cheeks.
“What the hell are you doing?” Alec demanded, shoving his backpack down.
“Teaching her,” Dad snapped, his hold tightening. “She needs to know the code.”
“She’s a kid!” Alec pushed forward, his body sliding between us. He shoved Dad’s hand off my face and planted himself in front of me like a shield. “You don’t teach her like this.”
Dad’s nostrils flared. “You want her to end up soft? You want her to get crushed when the world shows its teeth? I won’t have it. She needs to learn.”
“Not like this,” Alec hissed, his fists tight at his sides. “You can’t just hit her.”
“She failed.” Dad’s voice was ice. “And a Spade does not fail.”
“She failed a test,” Alec snapped. “Not the family. Not the code. School doesn’t matter.”
For a moment, I thought Dad might hit him too.
The air was thick with it, his fury radiating in waves.
But then, with a sharp breath through his nose, he snatched up his glass of whiskey and stormed out of the kitchen, muttering curses under his breath.
The front door slammed a moment later, leaving silence in his wake.
I sat frozen in my chair, my cheek still burning, tears dripping down my chin. My whole body shook.
Alec crouched in front of me, his hands gentle on my arms. His face softened when he saw the redness on my cheek. “Emmy…hey. Look at me.”
I blinked at him, chest heaving. “He…he hit me.”
“I know.” Alec’s jaw tightened, his voice breaking. “I know. And I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t know about…the code. I didn’t even know—”
“Shhh.” He pulled me against him, his arms wrapping around me tight.
I buried my face in his hoodie, sobbing into the sweat-soaked fabric.
“You’re okay. I won’t let him do that again.”
“But what if I fail again?” My words cracked apart with fear. “What if I—”
“Then I’ll take the blame.” Alec leaned back just enough to look me in the eye. His expression was fierce, protective, older than his years. “You hear me? I’ll take it. I won’t let him break you.”
“But the code—”
His mouth twisted. He hesitated, then lowered his voice. “The code is real. And yeah, one day you’ll have to know it, even if I want you nowhere near the club life. But you won’t learn it like this. Not from him. Not tonight.”
I searched his eyes, desperate. “So what do I do?”
“For now?” He brushed a thumb across my damp cheek. “You keep your head down. Go back to school after the break and continue with your studies. You try. You fight for yourself. And when it gets too hard…” His hand squeezed mine. “You come to me. Always.”
I nodded, clinging to his hand like it was the only steady thing in the world.
The kitchen was still heavy with smoke and anger, but Alec’s presence cut through it, anchoring me.
He couldn’t erase the sting on my cheek or the words Dad had forced into me, but he made them feel less suffocating.
And that night, as I lay awake in bed, those words looped endlessly in my head.
Family before all. Debt must be repaid. Betrayal is punished by death.
The code. I hadn’t asked for it. I hadn’t even known it existed until tonight. But it had been carved into my bones the night I was born, and I would have to abide by it if I wanted to survive in this world.
The family code haunted me in dreams. Not whispered, not chanted, but commanded.
My father’s voice was sharp, brittle as glass, breaking the silence of my dreams. He stood behind me as I kneeled at that old kitchen table, reciting lines I didn’t understand, each word scraped across my tongue like barbed wire.
Family before all. Debt must be repaid. Betrayal is punished by death.
Even after months of trying to bury those nights—bury her—Emersyn still bled through.
I woke in tangled sheets, my heart hammering against my ribs like it was trying to break out of me.
Sunlight leaked through the cheap curtains, cutting the room in half with sharp golden lines.
For a long moment, I lay there completely still, afraid to move, afraid that if I did, Logan would be standing in the corner of the room with his crooked smile that always promised pain. But he wasn’t. Not yet.
I was alive for now, and that had to be enough.