Chapter 57 #2
“Then promise me this and only this, Emersyn Spade,” he murmured, voice velvet over steel. “You will be the downfall of the Knights of Lovelen after tonight. I want them erased. Wiped from the earth…or rotting in a cell until they choke on their own breath.”
His fingers dug deeper, forcing me to nod, though every part of me screamed in terror.
“Can you do that for me?” he asked, deadly calm.
And in that moment—broken and blood-soaked, the ashes of my mother at my knees and my brother’s demand like a knife at my throat—I didn’t have a choice.
I whispered, “Yes.”
Even though the word tasted like betrayal.
“We were to be married,” I blurted out, the words spilling from my lips without thinking. Kaius lowered his cigarette, his eyes examining me as I fidgeted under his stare.
“Yes.” His voice cut through the room, clipped and void of warmth, as though he’d rehearsed detachment for centuries.
He leaned back in his chair, casual but dangerous.
“Your brother insisted that I marry you to ensure you were kept safe, but from what I can see, you have taken care of yourself quite well, Emersyn Spade.”
“Don’t call me that,” I snapped at him. “That girl died on the day you murdered my brother.”
“I never murdered your brother.” Kaius tilted his head, a predator scenting weakness.
I took a step back, desperate to put space between us, but his hand shot out, impossibly fast, gripping the back of my thighs. The heat of his touch burned through the denim. My body went rigid. “Not so fast, kitten.”
“I saw you kill him,” I spat, though my voice wavered. The memory clawed at me—the sound of the gun, the hollow ache in my chest, the world collapsing. “I felt it. The shot ripped through me too.”
His thumb moved lazily against my thigh, featherlight, maddening.
“Did you?” Kaius’s voice was softer now, almost cruel in its calmness.
“Or were you hallucinating? When you lit up your family home, did you even know what was behind those doors? What lived in your walls? It wasn’t insulation, I can tell you that much. ”
“No,” I breathed out.
Kaius stood, unfolding his tall frame until it towered over mine.
The air around him seemed to shift, grow heavier, denser, as though the weight of his presence alone might crush me.
His hand dipped behind his back, and I knew what was coming.
I closed my eyes, bracing myself, and refusing him the satisfaction of seeing fear in me.
Cold metal pressed against my temple. A shudder ripped down my spine, my breath becoming shallow and ragged.
“Look at me, Acelynn.” His voice was velvet over steel, soft but commanding.
Against my will, my eyes flew open, colliding with the storm of his green gaze.
They weren’t cruel the way they should’ve been.
They were fractured, wounded. A devastating sadness flickered there, a mirror of my own.
“There was Muze in your home, and when you lit that damn place up, the entire place became a biohazard. There was no way you didn’t get a contact high being that close to the fire.
I didn’t kill your brother that night. I simply put him out of his misery. ”
“That doesn’t change anything.” My teeth ground together.
His gaze drifted above my head, as though the weight of what he carried was too heavy to meet me. Rage, grief, and exhaustion swirled together on his face. I slammed my hands against his chest, forcing him to see me, to hear me.
“No, you don’t get to feel sad for anything in this situation. My family is dead because of the Knights. What? I wasn’t a good enough power play for you?”
“I wasn’t marrying you for power.” Kaius’s gaze snapped back to me.
I rolled my eyes, my fury rising. The barrel of the gun dug harder into my skull, making stars burst in my vision. “But you, coming into this bar, into my club with the sole intention of fucking us over, cannot be left unpunished.”
“Then punish me, oh powerful King of Lovelen,” I hissed out at him. “If it weren’t for today, you would have never known who I was.”
Kaius’s grip trembled, and he leaned closer, whispering, “I knew.”
I refused to look away from his bright green eyes as the conflicted emotions he was feeling flashed through them.
Hurt. Anger. Heartbreak. Each one was more devastating than the last as they continued to loop through his mind.
The tears that had moments ago burned my lash line were now streaming down my face, but it didn’t stop me from lifting my chin in defiance at him as I waited for the end to come.
I would not beg this man for my life, not before and not now that I held feelings for him.
The gun shook slightly with his next words.
“I knew, Acelynn. From the start, I knew you were using us for your own gain, whether that was protection or something else. No one strikes a deal with the Knights without an underlying bit of selfishness. But I had no proof. Vincent called it, and I told him that he was paranoid. I let my guard down as you captivated every single one of us. I let myself fall in love with you.”
“Do you think I had a choice?” I bared my teeth at him. The silence around us stretched thin, and I took the opportunity to reach up toward the hand that held the gun. His finger rested loosely on the trigger, and I curled my own over his in the small space. “I never had a choice in this, Kai.”
The nickname slipped past my lips before I could stop it.
His entire body flinched. I don’t know why I called him that.
I never had before, but there was something so familiar to it when it rolled off my tongue.
I continued my speech. “I was sitting in an interrogation room and was given two options: rot in a jail cell for the murder of my family or become their informant. That was it. I chose survival.”
His dark eyes narrowed on me, fury raging in them, but I continued.
“I don’t regret what we have or meeting any of you because somehow, in the most fucked up way, this healed me.
I was so angry when I came to this bar with the mission of destroying everything you held dear, but then I met each of them, and I couldn’t help letting them in.
So no, I don’t regret coming here and taking from each of you. ”
Kaius leaned in, the ghost of his lips tracing my bruised ones. “But you do have one regret. I can see it in your eyes, kitten.”
“Yes.” I sucked in a shaky breath, my words brushing against his.
“My one regret is losing it all because I was so blinded by a promise to people who never loved me. My family wanted to marry me off, use me, control me. My own brother was more interested in destroying you than in my safety in the end. I never felt loved by them, but didn’t know that at the time.
I thought loyalty was a form of love, but it’s not.
I now know how a real family loves, no matter if you are blood, and I’m sorry for destroying that. ”
I curled my finger around his tighter, my eyes never leaving his as I squeezed down on the trigger and waited for the world to fade away from me.