Chapter 35 – Jaxon
THIRTY-FIVE
JAXON
Becky
Any chance you can hang with Mads till her dance class?
I check my phone discreetly while the kids finish up a test. Read through Beck’s other texts, one of which could be considered a novel, updating us on his mom.
Me
Can I take her for ice cream?
Becky
If I say no, you gonna do it anyway?
Me
Probably
Becky
Only one scoop
School wraps for the day, and I find my way to the fifth-grade alley. Mads is putting in the code to her top locker.
The interior is decorated to the nines. A mirror rimmed in butterflies and flowers hangs on the inside of the door with photos taped around it—pictures of her and Beck, their mom, and a few with Sutton and Elliot.
It’s fully lit up with a string of fairy lights and something fuzzy.
Sort of a tad chaotic, but perfectly her.
“Oh, Madeline,” I sing-song.
She spins, high on her toes. “Hi, Jaxon!”
“Need any help getting your stuff?”
“Nah.” Her head tilts. “Why do you have my dance bag?”
Beck had one of the guys drop it off earlier in the front office.
“Because we’re hanging out till class. I was thinking about ice cream. How does that sound?”
Eyes flare oceanic blue. “The best! Can we play with puppies too?”
“Puppies?”
“I’m trying to convince Beck to get me a dog for my birthday.” She closes her locker, looping a gangly arm through mine. “I’ll be ten soon, ya know. I made a list of reasons why we should get one. Do you want to see them?”
“Sure.” I smile down at her. “Show me while we get ice cream, and if we have enough time, we can stop at the humane society.”
Halfway there, Madeline stops, shoulders slumping. “Why isn’t Beck picking me up? He usually gets me today.”
I was hoping this question wouldn’t come up, but Mads is observant. More mature than an almost ten-year-old should be. I pause, carefully selecting my words to avoid worrying her.
“Your mom’s appointment is running late.”
Shit, shit, shit.
Alarm shoots her into a rigid position, eyes frantically blinking, and concern etched into her brow.
“Is…is she okay?” Her mouth trembles.
“Yeah. Yeah, of course! Sometimes other patients need more time with the doctor, and they want to make sure they are helping everyone the best they can,” I start to explain. “All that means is other appointment start times get bumped back. Her appointment was at—”
“Two thirty,” Mads tells me.
“It’s just after three.” I show her the time on my phone. “We can call Beck and ask when it’s starting if you want.”
“But she’s okay?” The question wobbles out.
I nod. “He told me she’s okay, just routine, and that he’ll pick you up from dance.”
Madeline lightens up, but her sunny demeanor is still dim. She sighs. “I don’t want her to get sick again. It makes mommy sad and tired…then Beck is sad. I don’t like it when people are sad.”
Me either.
Staring at Madeline, it’s like a mirror. Her soul is bright, a wildfire that lights up everyone around her. She’s not mysterious in what she loves or how she’s feeling. Mads goes big, gets obsessed, and loves deeply.
But I wonder if she’s doing it on purpose too. Learned how her happy, positive outlook impacts those around her.
“I know, Mads.” I open the door to the ice cream shop for her.
“Did you know my daddy is sick?” It’s a small fib depending on how you look at his situation.
He doesn’t have a chronic illness like her mom, but his immune system is weaker.
“One of the things I used to do for him when I was your age was make him happy cards to tell him how much I love him. Do you wanna make your mom one?”
There’s that wildfire. I watch a match strike up, and she comes to life. “And one for Beck? Can it be purple?”
“It can be whatever color you want.”
“Rainbow and glitter then!” She can barely contain her excitement, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the kids’ corner of the ice cream shop filled with games and crafts.
She stops us, pivots, remembering where we are, and drags me to the counter first. “Ice cream first.”
“Ice cream first,” I repeat.
“Are you sure you can’t be my big brother?”
I know she’s joking, but it sews a tear in my heart back together.
“I think you’ve got a pretty good one.” I rustle the top of her head.
“I do.”
Checking the time, I let Jordan know we need to bump our study date back. We’re finally covering genetics and have a test next week. She doesn’t respond at first, so I send another.
Me
ooooor if you want, i’m getting ice cream with maddie. There’s an open seat
Blue
maddie?
are you on a date?
Me
a cute date that’s going to order unicorn sherbert
Blue
you’re going out with a girl that’s ordering unicorn sherbert?
thanks for letting me know, i guess?
Me
Jords…are you jealous?
Blue
i don’t do jealous
I laugh, realizing she’s confusing Madeline for someone else.
Mads samples every flavor, but ends up ordering exactly what I expected…with extra sprinkles and candy eyeballs. I get a smurf.
“What’s that?” she asks around a bite. Sprinkles explode over the table she specifically selected outside—closest to the street in case any dogs walk by that need to be petted. Then we can go back inside to make the cards according to her plan.
“Secret menu hack.” I take a bite of the cherry dipped top that acts as a hat, licking the excess that clings to my upper lip. “Vanilla ice cream dyed blue with a cherry dip. Two eyes and a whipped cream beard.” She makes a face. “Does that not sound good to you?”
“I don’t like vanilla. It’s boring.”
“The blue makes it fun.” Reminds me of Jordan’s hair too.
“I guess.” She goes in for another too-big bite. Immediate freak out. “Brain freeze. Brain freeze. Brain freeze.”
Jordan
Date? He can’t be on a date, we’re…we’re…fuck buddies, Jaxon’s words echo in my head.
I cross the street finishing my flush-out run and round the corner to where the only ice cream shop in Bensen is. Only two tables are occupied outside.
Jaxon’s back is to me, but I know that’s him at the rainbow-painted table. Across from him is…Maddie, or who I know as Madeline or Mads.
Maybe we are jealous, my heart taunts.
I was not jealous…or maybe I was. But only for a moment. A quick ripple in time that is easily forgettable and didn’t propel my feet here. Something I won’t be admitting to Jaxon, barely claiming the feeling myself.
I’m not usually this quick to react or let my emotions get the best of me, but…but the idea of Jaxon seeing someone…well I don’t really know what it was doing to me, but I didn’t like it.
Friends with benefits, that’s what we are. I don’t have some sort of claim over him. I just thought because I’m not talking, sleeping, or getting ice cream with anyone else that he’d be doing the same.
Maddie spots me first. A giddy excitement scoops up the multi-colored stained corners of her mouth into a smile. She points at me over Jaxon’s shoulder. “Look! Jordan’s here!”
Jaxon turns over his left shoulder. Soft green eyes and red cheeks from an afternoon spent in the sun. Golden strands still woven into his hair, the ends curling out everywhere, almost how they do after I’ve had my way with him. Running the tips of my fingers through it, pulling at the ends.
“Would you look at that, it is.” He sticks his tongue out at me, and my chest moves in a silent laugh at how blue his tongue is.
“Are you here for ice cream?” Mads asks me. I take the metal chair next to her.
Jaxon cocks his head, gaze beating into me with a challenge, silently asking are you? I turn away, focusing on Mads. “I guess so. What flavor should I get?”
She proceeds to tell me about every single flavor before offering to go inside and help me pick. We walk out a few minutes later with a cup of raspberry sorbet and a baby smurf.
“Mads, you already had ice cream.”
“I wanted another.” She sticks her tongue out at Jaxon, and I shrug my shoulders.
Bad influence, Jaxon mouths and shakes his head with a faux disapproval.
After we finish our ice cream, Mads drags me back inside to make a card for her mom and brother. When she goes to the bathroom to wash up, Jaxon catches me up on her mom’s appointment.
Glitter is everywhere. I’m pretty sure I somehow managed to get it inside my ear and up my nose. I’ve washed my hands three times, and it’s still stuck under my nails.
But Mads is happy, and that’s all that matters.
I didn’t think anyone could possibly talk more than Jaxon, but Mads talks the entire walk to her dance studio. She covers everything from school to dance to the color she wants to paint her bedroom and the trip to Disney her dad promised to take her on.
“This is Iris,” she introduces us to her dance teacher before taking off, tossing a goodbye and thank you at us over her shoulder.
“She may or may not have had two things of ice cream,” Jaxon tells Iris.
Iris sighs. “Nothing new.”
“Are you coming to our games this weekend?”
“Maybe.” Iris fiddles with a ribbon in her hand. “I—” There’s a commotion from the direction Mads took off in. “I should probably go see what that was.”
Jaxon chuckles far too casually. “I’ll have Elliot text you if we end up throwing a party.”
“Sounds good. See ya, Greene.” Iris walks away from us.
I immediately head outside, Jaxon quickly following after me. He sprints in front of me, walking backward. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.” I cross my arms.
“You are.”
“Am not.” I try to skirt around him, but he sidesteps, stopping me. One hand on my shoulder, teasing my hair. The other tips my chin upward.
“Whatever you say, Blue.” I open my mouth, but he continues, “Iris is Coach’s daughter. Doesn’t date, especially doesn’t date hockey players. We had a class together last year, and she’s friends with Elliot.”
“Coach has a daughter?”
“Yup.”
“She’s stunning. Does she go to Lakeland?”
“Graduated last year. Did online classes for two years while she was a dancer on a world tour.”
I blink in disbelief. “And she’s teaching now?”
“I guess so. Grew up here apparently.” He hums. “I wonder if she knows Beck. He moved to Bensen in middle school.”