Chapter 14
I’ll Hold Him Down for You
Justin
Mia and Arne left just before five. Arne was antsy, worried about missing his soccer game. I reminded Mia that they could leave early.
The house was suddenly quiet without the kid’s chatter. Sharleen and I had never gotten to the having-children stage, and I had no nephews or nieces. At team events, kids had never gravitated to me. This was the most time I’d spent with a rug rat since I’d been one.
I kind of liked it. Also, there’d been less tension with Arne around. Too bad he couldn’t come every day.
In the kitchen, a pot of chicken stew was warm on the stove.
Mia had put half of what she’d made in a microwavable container and left it cooling.
I wasn’t supposed to do anything more than put the lid on and place it in the fridge, in case I might spill it.
If I did, I’d damn well clean it up so she’d never know.
The rest I was allowed to serve myself for dinner. I was sure that I could balance a plate on my cast and get it to the table, but if I couldn’t, I would just eat it from the pot. My grandmother tsked at me, but that was just a memory. No one was here.
Restless and not happy with my own company, I called Fitch.
“JJ! How are things going?”
“Good. You got to California okay?”
“Yep. I’d missed seeing the ocean.”
“How was the drive?”
“Not bad. Some amazing scenery, and I listened to a couple of books. I get behind on my reading during the season.”
That was an idea. I could get some audiobooks to keep me occupied. It was strange to be in the offseason, with more time on my hands, without my teammates and Jess to keep me occupied.
“Heard from your ex?” Because of Mia, I had exes on the brain and wondered how things were going with his.
“Not yet. How’s it going with your ghost?”
I stirred the stew before settling in a kitchen chair with a glass of water. “She was here today. Working as my team babysitter.”
“You’re shitting me.”
“Nope.” I filled him in on the problems I’d had with the previous aides.
“So how did it go, spending a day with her?”
“Not bad. We had a chaperone.”
“Oh?” His eyebrows would be popping.
“She brought her kid.”
A moment of silence. “Why?”
“Power was off at the school or something. I’d said she could bring him along if she needed to.”
“What’s he like?”
“He’s in grade one, plays soccer.”
“So not a hockey fan?”
I grinned. “He hasn’t had a chance to play, but he’s interested.”
“Did you impress him with your hockey cred?”
Arne’s eyes had gone big when he told me the Blaze were an NHL team. But the biggest thrill had been drawing on my hand. “I think he was more impressed by my cast.”
Fitch laughed. “Yeah, that’s kids for you.”
“I let him sign the cast. He drew a duck on Ducky’s signature. And Tigger on Oppy’s.”
“That’s totally what we should call Oppy.”
“Maybe not. Tigger is popular with kids, but Oppy, he’s a little too—”
“Too R rated?”
“Wouldn’t want to spoil Winnie the Pooh for a generation of children.”
We shot the shit for a bit longer, then I let him go. I texted Jess, so she’d know things had been fine. She’d worry. I didn’t call, because she needed time and space to work things out with Alek.
She texted back.
The team told Alek’s agent that he isn’t going to get an extension from the Blaze.
It had been a long shot, but with Ducky almost back in playing shape, the team couldn’t afford both of them. Ducky was cheaper and younger, and the team didn’t have a lot of cap space. But if we’d had both Alek and Ducky, our top two lines would have been unstoppable.
Sorry to hear that.
I’m going to pretend you mean it.
I’m trying. That was 50% sincere.
I appreciate it. How are things?
I told you, fine. Mia had to bring her son with her today, so we had a chaperone.
And tomorrow? There she was, worrying.
It’ll be fine.
Should I come out?
Don’t you have a job?
Shit. Maybe now that she was with Alek, she wouldn’t work anymore. I’d have been happy to support her, but she never let me do as much as I’d wanted. If Alek wasn’t going to be in Toronto, maybe she was leaving too. If things worked out with them. Otherwise, long-distance dating wouldn’t be easy.
Even we mortals get vacation days.
That was the snarky side of Jess that had been missing for a while. And why I was willing to give Alek a chance. Despite everything, he was good for her.
There are some boxes in the basement to go through—I’ll take care of the ones with my name on them.
The three dots appeared as I waited for her response. Then,
What are we going to do with the place?
Maybe Alek will sign with Vancouver and he can stay here.
Wasn’t that progress? A part of me still didn’t want him around me or my twin, but I was working on that.
This place was a little out of the way if Alek played in Vancouver, but Jess would visit him and this was better than a hotel.
If there was a chance I’d have more than one game a season here, I’d keep the place just for my visits.
I liked this house. Growing up, this was where the good memories were.
Where I felt most like part of a normal family.
Jess’s three dots appeared and disappeared, but nothing came through. She either was writing something really long or was revising herself over and over, which meant she was worried about how I’d react. I didn’t think she was writing a novel, so…
Finally the text appeared. Just four words.
I’m going with Alek.
Where? On vacation somewhere? For dinner? But there were no more dots, and it hit me.
She wasn’t going to a restaurant with him. Wherever he played next year, she was going. Moving, quitting her job, probably living with him.
I clenched and unclenched my hands, twinges sparking from my injuries. I’d been afraid of this, and now it wasn’t a maybe, but definite. She’d made her decision and spent long moments typing four words to tell me. I had to respond. I couldn’t let her even consider staying in Toronto just for me.
If he hurts you, next time I won’t hit his helmet.
If he hurts me, I’ll hold him down for you.
Good for her.
It’s late, so I should go. Good night, Jess.
She responded and I let the phone drop.
I wanted her to be happy. To find someone to love, have her own family, follow her own dreams. But now that it was happening? It made it all too obvious how alone I was.
I pulled a beer out of the fridge and went out to the back porch to sit and drink. It was a little chilly this time of year, but not too bad. I sat, unopened beer beside me, listening to the sounds of the neighborhood. Some kids shouting, cars, a dog barking.
I was happy for Jess. Also, envious. But circumstances had pushed Mia and me apart, and I’d tried to fill that void with Sharleen. That had resulted in an epic disaster. I couldn’t rush and make a mistake like that again.
I needed to get over the past. Mia would be here tomorrow. Maybe we should go through those boxes in the basement. Rip off the scab. Because there would be more than hockey trophies there. And I’d put off talking to her for far too long.
Mia
Arne chatted about his new friend all the way home. I could remind him not to tell anyone who Justin was, but he was only six and he’d forget. Instead of trying to muzzle him, I’d be better off preparing for what would happen when the news got out.
After the chili disaster, I’d decided on hamburgers for dinner. I’d left the ground beef thawing in the fridge, confident that no one would take the effort to make something with it, and I was right. As the patties began to sizzle in the frying pan, family came down to eat.
I raised the spatula to protect the first couple of burgers I’d finished. “Get the condiments on the table. There’s a salad in the fridge.”
Dorian rolled his eyes but actually did what I’d asked. Bruce was waiting at the table, scrolling on his phone. Cora hovered over my shoulder like she was hoping to get first dibs if she was close.
I flipped the burgers onto a couple of buns and passed her the spatula.
“What?”
“Arne has soccer, so he and I are eating first.”
“I’m supposed to cook for everyone?”
Like I hadn’t been doing that since I was younger than her. “You guys can figure it out.” I took two plates, each with a burger, and put one in front of Arne at the table before sitting beside him with the other.
Cora glared at me then grabbed a couple of buns. “I’m only cooking my food.”
“Like hell you are,” Bruce said. “You can cook for us and Dorian will clean up.”
“I’ve got stuff to do,” Dorian whined while Cora started to mutter about sexism.
“Not very good planning,” Bruce said to me.
I thought it was genius planning, to have my siblings helping for once, but I just shrugged.
“When will the car be fixed?” he asked.
“I’m waiting to hear back from the garage.” They’d towed it away today. I was not looking forward to hearing how much the estimate was.
He grunted. He didn’t offer to help pay for it, even though both of his kids would use it. When Mom went to the doctor, someone had to drive her if I was at work.
I took a long breath. We’d get through this, somehow. I checked my phone for the time, since Arne and I would need to hustle to catch the bus to get to soccer. There was a message from Tonya.
We’ll be there to pick you up.
I hadn’t asked her, not wanting to be a burden. For a moment, tears threatened. A relative stranger had remembered that I might need help. Not anyone around the table, the people who were family.
I now had some extra time, so decided to start some laundry. I’d leave it to my siblings to handle the kitchen. It wouldn’t hurt them for once.
Once we were ready, Arne and I sat in the kitchen to wait for Tonya and Barney. Mom was the only one still there. Dorian’s efforts at cleanup were halfhearted at best, but I wasn’t worrying about it tonight.
“How was your day, Arne?” Mom asked.
Arne told her about drawing on the cast, and the book he’d read, and the sandwich he ate for lunch.