Chapter 24
CHAPTER
Professor Johnson has been in the hospital in Melbourne for almost a week.
Every morning, I leave the base to record details about the birds he’s been observing.
The black-browed albatross, a smaller species than those at Bailey Point, is white with a distinctive black eyebrow and a bright yellow beak.
Breeding pairs, which build nests of hard-packed mud, guano, and scraps of seaweed and grass on a terrace ledge near the top of a cliff a kilometre from the station, are unusual here, but common in the Falkland Islands.
My vantage point, an overhanging rock twenty metres from the base of the cliff, is relatively sheltered from the rain.
A whistle floats on the wind and Dougie, warmly rugged up but identifiable by his build and enthusiastic wave, stops on the path.
‘Flick!’ As the albatross flies from the nest and glides over the ocean, I pack up my camera then scramble down the slope.
‘What’s up?’
‘Angelina was looking for you and I volunteered to track you down.’ Dougie laughs as his hood blows back. ‘More fool me!’
‘I defrost over hot chocolate.’
‘How about a chat while you do that?’
‘HR or social?’
He smiles. ‘Something in the middle.’
The strength of the wind, an icy wet blanket, pushes us back as we traipse over the rocky beach, then along the path that leads to the administration block.
As I struggle with the door, Dougie wrenches it open.
My hands are so cold I have no hope of undoing my jacket so he helps with that too, hanging it on a hook in the foyer.
As it drips onto the mats, I take off my gloves.
He plucks the sleeve of my jumper. ‘I hope you’re dry underneath.’
‘I am.’ My teeth chatter. ‘It’s nice and warm in here.’
‘Hot chocolate coming up,’ he says after herding me into his office at the front of the building.
A few minutes later, he’s back with a mug of steaming chocolate and a packet of chocolate biscuits.
He peers out of the window. ‘Working inside is not a problem for me.’
‘I’ve seen you kicking a ball around outside. You like people and you get on well with them. HR seems to be a good fit.’
‘I appreciate the community and opportunities we’ve got out here as much as anybody, but I prefer hiring more than firing, that’s for sure.’
Suddenly wary, I put my mug on the desk. ‘I hope that’s not what you wanted to talk about.’
He’s immediately contrite. ‘Even if you hadn’t saved the professor’s life, you wouldn’t be getting kicked off this island.’
‘Clarissa hasn’t said anything.’
‘There’s not much she can say until we’ve dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s. There has to be a formal response to Captain Simpson’s concerns and that won’t happen until Seb gets back tomorrow night.’
Sebastien calls me, but I don’t call him. Yes, I like to hear his voice. No, it’s not good for my heart. Lying in the same bed, we can talk. Over the phone, we can talk. On the station with Robin and Dougie and all the other people here …
‘You two don’t get on, do you?’ Dougie asks.
‘I respect him.’ I look down, dip a biscuit in the hot chocolate. ‘We argued before he left.’
‘Different backgrounds, right?’ Dougie smiles. ‘I just scraped through high school.’
‘I had to do a bridging course to get into university.’
‘What? Jerry says he’s never met anyone smarter. As for me, I went from school to a Telstra shop. Terrible hours, but I stuck it out to pay my way through uni. No silver spoons or parental leg-ups for either of us.’
‘I’ve had some good opportunities. This role—’ I cross my fingers, ‘—is hopefully one of them.’
‘Hang in there, Flick.’
I finish my chocolate and take a biscuit for the road. ‘As work is something I can control, I’d better get back to it.’
‘Out in the field from the crack of dawn and in the office till late at night … it’s not sustainable.
’ He taps the desk with a finger. ‘Which is what I really wanted to talk to you about. How about we cut your time in front of the screen? I could give you a hand with transcribing the journal entries.’
The professor couldn’t have been clearer about his wishes, but I’m reluctant to pass that on to Dougie.
‘Why would you want the extra work? You wouldn’t be paid for it.’
He counts on his fingers. ‘It’s a good career move to work directly with scientists. I don’t have enough work to keep me occupied. Getting to work with you would be a bonus.’
‘It’s nice of you to offer, but I want to do the work myself. That’s what the professor wants, too.’
‘I fell off the horse in my first rodeo, but guaranteed, Flick, I’ll do better this time.’
‘I really appreciate your offer, but—’
‘Thanks, but no thanks.’ A dramatic sigh. ‘All good, but how about you keep me in mind?’
‘I’ll do that.’
Angelina flicks open a small silver case and, leaning back in her chair, holds it up and reapplies lipstick.
‘Do you have a meeting this afternoon?’
‘I’m thirty-three—achieving and retaining a dewy complexion, bright eyes and rosebud lips takes time and not a small amount of effort.’
‘Look in that mirror again—morning, noon and night, you’re beautiful.’
‘That’s what Lorenz said.’
‘Who is Lorenz?’
‘A hook-up in Hobart.’ She sighs. ‘I thought it might lead to something …’
‘But you’re still waiting for the love of your life.’
She closes one eye, holds up a hand and mimics a telescope. ‘I can picture him now, up on his bower stage.’
‘How is the dance night shaping up?’
‘December’s bonding exercise will be spectacular.’
Every two months, an expeditioner volunteers to coordinate an inclusive social activity.
The week after I arrived, the two tall climate scientists organised a charades competition.
For December, Professor Johnson had planned to host a trivia night.
As an alternative, Angelina has come up with a dance exhibition.
‘I’m not much of a dancer, Ange.’
‘Select a dance, look up how to do it, then teach the others on the night.’ She clicks her fingers. ‘Easy peasy.’
‘Not when I only have six weeks.’
‘Ten minutes ago, you were telling me Dougie was positive about your chances of staying on. This is what team building and collegiality is all about.’ Smiling, she lowers her voice. ‘If you don’t participate, I’ll be forced to tell Clarissa.’
‘You’d never do that, but I suppose …’ I whistle a Lee Kernaghan tune. ‘A bush dance might be achievable.’
‘It will keep you on the right side of Clarissa before she makes a decision on the trial.’
‘Then all I’ll have to worry about is Sebastien’s approval.’
‘He’s head over heels, take it from me.’
When Angelina stands, I stand, too. ‘He won’t let me stay if he thinks I’m a risk.’
‘You’re smart and lovely inside and out. If he can’t see that, forget him.’
I swallow hard. ‘Will you put him on your dance card?’
She waves an airy hand. ‘He’s already declined, but I’ll wear him down.’
I’m sitting between Kingsley and Robin at the dining table when the door to the mess opens wide. There are ten at our table, but Sebastien spots me immediately. He has a vivid crimson split across his lip and he’s walking with a limp.
My emotions are a jumble. I was angry and hurt when he left. Almost four weeks and a few phone calls later, I’m conflicted. I’m also repressing the urge to spring to my feet and fire questions about how he came to be hurt and whether he needs to sit down.
‘Flick!’
I wrench my gaze away when Robin clicks her fingers.
‘What happened to Seb’s mouth? Why is he hobbling?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I hope it’s nothing serious.’
‘As for the hobbling, I’d say he’s hurt his ankle,’ Kingsley says. ‘I doubt he’d be permitted to fly like that.’
‘Luckily for him, he doesn’t have to,’ Robin says.
Sebastien won’t feel lucky that he was forced to eject from his plane. I don’t think he feels lucky to be working out here. He misses flying and the life that he had. That’s what hurts him most.
‘He didn’t mention it?’ Robin pulls out a bag and offers me one of her seemingly endless supplies of red frogs. ‘I don’t eavesdrop deliberately, but as you know, we have paper-thin walls between our rooms.’
‘No frog, thank you, and—’ I shake my head, ‘—no, he didn’t mention it.’
Jerry, smile wide, bursts through the swinging doors from the kitchen. ‘Welcome back to Morrison! Take a seat, guys. I’ll get your grub.’
Kingsley peers at my plate. ‘All you’ve eaten is crackers, cheese and tinned fruit.’
‘I ate a lot at lunchtime.’ I line up my knife and fork. ‘The ship got in hours ago. What do you think took them so long?’
‘I’m amazed they braved the inflatable in this weather,’ Robin says.
When Sebastien limps towards us, Kingsley stands. ‘Here comes my patient.’
I’m not sure why I stand too. To run to him—or away?
Sebastien’s ankle might be painful, but his chin is up as he weaves around the tables. His fringe flops onto his forehead and he pushes it back. Notwithstanding the split through his lip, he’s even more handsome than he was. Dougie pushes back his chair and holds up a hand for a fist bump.
‘Welcome back, mate.’
When Angelina beckons and holds out her arms, Sebastien leans over the table to submit to her hug, then laughs at something she says. His bottom lip is swollen and that’s what I’m focussing on, but Kingsley gestures to his leg.
‘What gives?’
‘Anterior peroneal tear.’
Kingsley rubs his hands together. ‘I’ll get the medic’s reports from Casey. How did you do it?’
‘I slipped on ice.’
‘What about your lip?’ Robin asks. ‘Did you face plant?’
‘It must hurt.’ My words spill out.
Eyes on my mouth, Sebastien touches his lip. ‘It did.’
‘You’ll have heard what happened with Professor Johnson.’ Kingsley slings an arm around my shoulders. ‘Flick aced it. You can’t send her home now.’
All of a sudden, I’m not only jittery but teary. ‘I talked to Professor Johnson this morning. He has heart bypass surgery tomorrow.’
‘You did well,’ Sebastien says quietly.
‘The professor wants Flick to continue his work,’ Kingsley says. ‘We all support that.’
Sebastien searches my face. ‘Can we talk?’
‘Don’t you want something to eat?’
‘Later.’
As Sebastien shadows me out of the mess, Dougie shouts: ‘I’m next in line after Flick!’
After moving two upright chairs to a neighbouring table, Sebastien gestures for me to sit on the chair that backs onto the window. Immediately I’m seated, he positions the second chair at a right angle. If anyone did look our way, they’d see Sebastien’s back but nothing of me.
‘Dougie said I can stay if you and Clarissa agree to it.’
He turns the ring on his finger; the stylised H and T. ‘I’ve spoken to Clarissa.’
‘Already?’ I link my hands tightly. ‘And?’
‘You deserve to be here.’
‘I can stay?’
‘I fucked up.’ His eyes are back on my mouth. ‘I’ve missed you.’
Longing. Desire. I’ve missed him too, but the risk of caring about a dangerous man like him, a man who would possibly take care of my life but wouldn’t take care of his own, is perilous. I’ve already lost someone I loved and I’m never going down that path again.
‘Never.’
He leans forward. ‘What?’
I don’t know Sebastien in a sensible, rational way, only in an emotional and irrational way. Is that why I want to kiss him more than I’ve wanted to kiss anyone? More than I’ll ever want to kiss anyone?
‘I don’t know what you want.’ My voice squeaks.
He frowns. ‘You.’
Is he ever uncertain about anything?
‘I don’t do hook-ups.’
‘I never wanted that.’
‘I don’t do relationships either.’
His eyes narrow. ‘I’m different.’
I desperately think how my rational and sensible side would respond. ‘You get injured. You take risks. You hide things.’
When he looks at my mouth again, the tingling sensation in my thighs seeps through my body to my breasts.
‘What do you want to know?’
‘How did you fall on the ice?’
‘Ask another question. Not about work.’
‘Why not work?’
‘It can wait.’
He takes my hand and threads our fingers, then dips his head and presses his lips against the skin between my index finger and thumb.
When I feel the tip of his tongue, the tingling ramps up.
I can’t see around him, but the good-natured shouts and laughter at Angelina’s table are louder than they were. Our fingers slip apart.
‘I have something to tell you that you won’t like,’ he finally says.
‘You said I can stay.’
‘You can.’
‘Seb!’ Dougie calls. ‘Time’s up!’
‘I’ll be with my penguins in the morning.’
‘I have a meeting at eight.’ There’s frustration and regret in his gaze. ‘After that, I’ll find you.’