Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
When Nora walked into the living room the next morning, Ivy’s blankets were folded neatly, the pillow stacked on top. Through the window, both Ivy’s and Blaze’s cars were also gone. She hadn’t even gotten a chance to say goodbye.
Feeling heavy, Nora needed a cup of coffee. She went into the kitchen and loaded the coffeemaker. She leaned on the counter, her mind full of so many thoughts all at once: the fun she’d had with Blaze, the struggle with Ivy, the promise of Ivy’s new friend, and then to Blaze’s abrupt change… Had she done anything to cause it? She combed back through their time together, but she came up empty.
As the heady aroma of coffee filled the air, she tried to clear her mind and focus on the vacation that, for all intents and purposes, was starting today. Although, she didn’t feel she could settle in until she got to the bottom of that hospital letter.
She went into the fridge to find the cream and noticed the sandwiches Gram had made last night were gone. She was glad Blaze and Ivy had taken something to eat with them.
“Morning—oh, thank you,” Gram said, making a beeline for the coffee.
“Good morning, Gram.”
The quiet atmosphere made Nora uneasy. She hadn’t realized how much she’d enjoyed Blaze and Ivy’s banter until it was gone. She wasn’t ready to confront Gram just yet. She needed to get her head straight first.
Gram pulled a mug down from the cabinet. “Did you get to say goodbye to the Rymans before they left?”
“No. They were gone before I got up.”
“I slept like a rock. I didn’t even hear them leave.” Gram spooned some sugar into her coffee.
“I didn’t either. I wish I had. I’d have liked to have seen them off.” Nora tried to ignore the weight on her chest when she thought about not seeing either of them until school started at the end of the summer. And if Ivy and Jake carried on, and Ivy decided to attend Brentwood Academy, she might not ever see them again.
“Blaze sure was quiet yesterday,” Gram said, sitting down at the island with her mug. “Did something happen between you two?”
Nora shook her head, still confused by his behavior. “No. All I can think of is that he was too busy worrying about Ivy to be his usual self.”
“Hm. Well, let’s not allow it to spoil the rest of our trip. Try to let it go so you can enjoy yourself.”
Nora brought her coffee over and set it on the counter next to Gram’s. She wouldn’t be able to enjoy herself until she knew what was going on with her grandmother. With a deep breath, she pushed forward. “There is, actually, something else…”
Gram’s eyebrows pulled together. “What is it?”
Nora took a seat. “I found that hospital letter in the trash.”
The same look of fear she’d seen in Gram’s eyes when she’d first mentioned it, flooded her grandmother’s face once more.
“Wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Gram stood up and squared her shoulders. “Let’s sit on the porch.”
Nora had hoped her grandmother would say that they’d cleared her, and that the letter was just an old piece of trash she’d used as her bookmark, but she hadn’t. She wanted to sit outside. That wasn’t a good sign. Nora’s heart pounded as she followed Gram to the swing and lowered herself beside her.
“They found a suspicious lump,” Gram said, facing the Gulf, the breeze blowing her gray hair off her face. “I went for an MRI about a month ago so they could see it better. They sent the images off for a second opinion, and I was waiting until after vacation to call them back for the final word.”
Nora’s heart fell into her stomach. “Why did you wait? If there’s an issue, we should get this taken care of sooner rather than later.”
“If it is something of concern, I’m not sure I can go through that kind of surgery. From what they told me, it’s pretty invasive, and then there’s radiation and probably chemotherapy, and I’m no spring chicken. The last thing I want to do is spend the rest of my years in pain.”
Tears pricked Nora’s eyes.
“I didn’t tell you for this very reason.” Gram lifted her chin as if in defiance to the possible cancer that had invaded her. “There’s no need to worry until we actually have something to worry about.”
“What are the odds that it’s not cancerous?” Nora asked, blinking away her tears.
Gram shook her head. “I don’t know. But until they say for sure that it is, I’m going to operate as if it isn’t. There’s no sense in losing wonderful days like this out of fear. You can’t spend your time worrying over things that can’t change.”
Nora gripped her mug and pulled her knees into her chest, rocking the swing. “It’s hard to turn off the fear.”
Gram gave her a fond look. “But you have to or you’ll drive yourself crazy.” She held up her mug. “Let’s enjoy our coffee and then go shopping like we’d planned to do when we first got here.”
“Okay.”
Gram got up. “But first I’ll wash all the sheets and change the beds around.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I’d like to.” Gram gave her a smile and went back inside.
Nora wiped a tear away and took a long sip of her creamy coffee, trying to let it soothe her. But she’d been faced with a new dilemma that hadn’t surfaced from her subconscious until now: Gram wouldn’t be with her forever. What would her life look like when Gram was no longer in it? She hadn’t wanted to think about it, and she didn’t want to now, but there was a possibility she’d face that question sooner than she’d like.
In everything she did, she’d chosen the safest route; she hadn’t even tried to figure out her own passions or who she was without Gram. And now, where did that leave her?
Those same questions hung in her mind all day, even while she shopped with Gram. It was difficult to enjoy perusing seashell trinkets and hand-painted pottery when she had life-changing events on her mind.
The days carried on, the weekend came and went, and the next week she and Gram continued as if nothing was wrong, when in Nora’s mind, everything was wrong. After spending time with Blaze, she felt as if she didn’t even know herself. And how was she going to have time to find herself when she had to deal with Gram’s possible diagnosis?
Or the fact that she’d fallen for Blaze?
She knew they would never work outside of that one week at the beach, and she’d still allowed herself to be swept off her feet by his charm. She couldn’t just insert herself into Blaze and Ivy’s lives. And even if she wanted to, Blaze had left without even a goodbye, and he hadn’t said anything about staying in touch, or messaged her since.
This vacation hadn’t been nearly as restorative as Nora had hoped. In fact, it had been the opposite.