Chapter Ten
G abe plowed through the snow to the pile of wood he’d been chopping, put a log on the stump, and split it in half. He did another and another, continuing on as if Lucy had never interrupted. It was going to take at least a cord of wood to kill what he was feeling.
Lust, frustration. Tenderness and affection.
All of it simmered together. Rationally, he knew he should be grateful she’d had the presence of mind to stop before things went too far. He had no business falling into bed with her again...or for the first time, since they never even made it to a bed before.
They’d been making progress, and he was glad they hadn’t destroyed it. If only he didn’t remember her warmth when he held her, her slick heat when he slid inside her.
He was going to have to forget what she looked like in nothing but her long underwear, her nipples pebbled from the cold and showing through the white fabric. He hadn’t dwelled on it at the time, not with her on the verge of hypothermia, but it was all he could think about now.
He was fairly sure she almost never wore a bra. She was small and perfect, and his one regret about having sex with her was that he hadn’t put his mouth on her. Hadn’t even gotten her shirt off.
If he had the chance to do it again...but that wasn’t going to happen.
She wanted to be friends, and though that was the last thing he’d had in mind when she arrived, he’d come around to her point of view.
By the time he finished the pile of wood, he was in control of himself again. And there was something he needed to do. Grabbing his wallet and keys from inside, he climbed into his truck and headed to town.
The bell on the door rang as he entered the store.
“Welcome to Tree Line,” Matt, the manager on shift, greeted from the winter coats. “Can I help...” His voice trailed off when he saw who it was. “Oh. Hi, Gabe. I didn’t realize you were coming in today.”
“Just need to grab a few things for a friend.”
“Cool.”
Matt always got nervous when Gabe came in, which he did rarely. The store was in good shape and didn’t need him sticking his nose in. He had people who did that for him, anyway. But Lucy needed the right base layers, and he was pretty sure she didn’t have the money to get them herself.
It didn’t take him long to gather together what he wanted, and ten minutes later Matt was ringing up seven sets of silk long underwear and seven pairs of wool socks. Remembering her chapped cheeks, he grabbed a pink ski mask as well, then threw in a handful of hand and foot warmers for good measure.
The real issue was how to get her to accept it all. He could clearly imagine how she’d push the bag back at him, her delicate jaw stubbornly set. She wouldn’t want to feel beholden to him, and he didn’t want her to think she needed to be grateful.
Best to pass it off like it was no big deal. Which hopefully wouldn’t be too hard, given her total ignorance of all things related to winter.
Grinning to himself, he grabbed a pen and scrawled on the outside of the bag: Wear these if you want to live .
There, he was being funny. She would appreciate that, even if it seemed out of character for him. He was a pretty serious bastard these days, especially when he started thinking of all the ways she could get hurt. This wasn’t the greatest way to show he believed she could take care of herself, but she was going to have to live with it because he wasn’t taking any of it back.
And anyway, he wasn’t convinced she could take care of herself. Back in San Francisco or Florida, sure. But there was still so much she didn’t know about living up here, and yesterday had proved it. Still, there was something admirable in the way she was rallying to her circumstances. She was more resilient than he’d given her credit for.
He set the bag on her steps and hurried away as Hilde started barking. He needed to be inside his cabin before she opened her door.
He stood peeking around the edge of a curtain. A minute later, she came out and picked up the bag. She opened it, looked over at his cabin, then stepped back inside and shut her door.
He wasn’t out of the woods yet, but he didn’t want to be caught watching for her out the window, so he poured a can of soup into a pan and stirred, waiting for it to heat. Several minutes ticked by, and he began to relax. Maybe she’d accept the gift after all.
He was sitting down to eat when he heard her come up the steps. Her knock was sharp and all business, and he opened the door warily, prepared to be more stubborn than she was.
She wore her jacket but hadn’t bothered to put on a hat, and her cheeks were flushed a hectic pink. Hilde was racing around his yard, losing her mind over a chipmunk.
Lucy pushed the bag into his chest. “I can’t take this. It’s very generous, but I’ll be fine without it.”
He held his hands up, refusing to take possession of the bag. “But better with it.”
“This is ridiculous, Gabriel. Whatever I need, I can get on my own.”
Her glare would have leveled a less determined man. He changed tactics. “I can’t rest easy unless I know you’re safe, and you won’t be until you’re wearing the right clothing.”
She hesitated, clearly conflicted. “The socks alone must have cost—”
“I got them on sale.”
“Even so. Seven pairs of silk long underwear? I looked it up, and this stuff is expensive.”
So that was why it had taken her so long to come. “Not if you own the store.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I own Tree Line. With a partner, that is.”
“Oh my God. That was you.”
“What was me?”
“I Googled you a while back, but I didn’t believe the guy who owned an enormous chain would be living in the middle of nowhere and working as a caretaker.”
“Well, he is.”
“In other words, you’re rich.”
“I’m comfortable, but that’s beside the point. I’m just giving you a few things from my own store.”
“You mean they were free?”
“Well, no. But I bought them at cost.”
Her eyes narrowed again. “So you’re living in this tiny cabin and working as a caretaker, even though you’re loaded?”
“I have my reasons. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about it. It wouldn’t be great for business.”
The last thing he needed was someone learning that one of the partners of Tree Line was living like a recluse and struggling with mental health issues.
“Of course I won’t talk about it. But—”
“Keep the clothes, Lucy. Please. There’s no reason you should spend money on this stuff when you’ll only be here a few months.”
She bit her lip and looked down at the bag in her hands, clearly torn. “I wanted to do things on my own,” she said, sounding forlorn.
His heart tore a little bit at how hard she was trying. “Everyone could use a little help now and then.”
“Even you?”
“Hell, I’m beyond help.”
Maybe she could tell it wasn’t entirely a joke, because she didn’t smile. Those dark, serious eyes seemed to see everything.
“Okay, I’ll keep them. Thank you for thinking of me.”
He was always thinking about her. “I think I got the right sizes, but let me know if something doesn’t fit.”
“Okay.”
“There’s one other thing.”
“Are you going to tell me about another thing that could get me killed?”
“Yes, actually. Now that you’re going out into the backcountry, you need to understand about avalanches.”
Going over to his bookshelf, he pulled out a folded map of the area and spread it on the table.
She came closer and peered down. “Where are we on this?”
He grabbed a pen from where he’d been working earlier. “We’re here,” he said, drawing an X. “You can’t tell from this map, but we’re actually in a valley. Len bought the property because there are no steep slopes for about fifteen square miles.” He traced the border of the valley along the map in blue pen. “The one caveat is the hill behind this cabin. It’s not that big, but it’s steep enough for an avalanche if you’re on it at the wrong time. I know how to test for dangerous snowpack, but you need to talk to me before you go up that way.”
She was biting her lip and frowning at the map. “I had no idea this was something I needed to worry about.”
“Anytime there’s snow on the ground, there’s the chance it could be become unstable. If that happens, it can trigger an avalanche. There are a lot of complicating factors, but my point is that as long as you stay within the borders I’ve marked, you’ll be fine. You’ll run into gentle hills with slopes you can climb or descend in your snowshoes, and those aren’t dangerous.”
She nodded and bent closer to the map.
“I’m serious. People—” he broke off as his voice shook. “People die every year in avalanches.”
She stood up straight and looked at him like he was crazy. “I would never ignore your advice.” She worried her lip some more. “Maybe I should stick to the road.”
He looked down at the boundary he’d drawn to indicate where she could safely go, the X he’d marked for their cabins, and said nothing. If he agreed, he wouldn’t have to worry every time she headed out.
But that wasn’t fair. He knew better than anyone the pleasure being in the backcountry could bring, and he couldn’t deny her that.
“You don’t need to do that,” he finally said, folding the map. “Avalanches happen in specific conditions and terrain. Knowing the conditions is pretty involved, but if you stay away from the terrain, you’ll be fine. And in the area I drew, you can enjoy your hikes without worrying.”
It wouldn’t completely stop him from fretting, but he would have to live with that.
“Hang on a second. I have something else for you.” Going into his bedroom, he opened the pack he used for overnight hikes and pulled out his satellite phone.
Lucy looked up from the map as he came back in. “Here,” he said, handing her the phone. “Take this when you go out, just in case.”
“Why would I need a phone? There’s no cell service out there.”
“This operates using satellites, not cell towers. It’ll work wherever you go.”
“Do you really think I’ll need this?”
“No, but it would make me feel better if you carried it with you.” He turned it on and checked the charge, then programmed his numbers into it. “Now you have my cell and landline, as well as all the emergency numbers you would need,” he said, showing her the screen. “Plus, it has GPS. I’ll pin your cabin so you can use it to get back if you need to.”
“But what about you?”
“I’ll get another one. We sell them at the store.”
“Okay. I’ll keep it in my backpack,” she said, taking it from him. “Thank you.”
He folded the map back up and passed it to her. “Have fun.”
“Right, fun.” She gave him an uncertain smile and turned to go.
“Don’t forget these,” he said, handing her the bag with her long underwear and socks.
She didn’t look thrilled to be accepting so much from him, but at least she didn’t argue. He could live with that.
***
? G abe waited for a Lexus SUV to pull out of a spot downtown and stared down another driver who was eyeing the same spot.
“Not today, buddy,” he muttered, pulling in.
It was only ten o’clock in the morning, the roads messy from the snow that had started a few hours earlier, but already Christmas shoppers clogged the streets and sidewalks, spilling out of boutique clothing stores and specialty toy emporiums. He’d waited too long to do his holiday shopping, and now he was going to have to contend with all the tourists.
Turning off the engine, he blew out a long breath and steeled himself for crowds and frustration.
He found some lotions and candles for Natalie in the inaptly named Essentials, which carried nothing essential whatsoever, then headed across the street to the bookstore to look for gifts for his parents.
Turn the Page was even busier than Essentials, so he didn’t immediately notice the books on display in the fiction section. Then the crowd parted and there was Lucy’s book, piled high on a center table with several copies on easels. A sign announced her reading and book signing.
This afternoon.
He picked up a copy and turned it over to read the description on the back. There was Lucy’s face, smiling out at him. His smile in return was pure reflex, but it quickly faded.
Why hadn’t she told him she was having a reading today? Did she think he wouldn’t be interested?
Or maybe she didn’t want him there.
Strangely hurt at the thought, he put the book down and started to walk away, only to turn back again and take a copy from the table.
He’d only seen her a handful of times since he’d given her the warm clothes, mostly when she set out or came back from one of her snowshoeing excursions. But all they ever did was say hello. He got more interest from the dog.
The image of her sweet little body in long underwear that clung to every curve tortured him regularly now. Which did him no good, since they barely spoke, and neither of them had any intention of letting things go in that direction.
By the time he’d found books for his parents and gotten in line to pay, he was hot and annoyed by all the people, and still bothered that Lucy hadn’t told him about her reading.
The line moved forward, and he caught sight of another display table, this one with books for children and teenagers. On it, the cover facing him, was his favorite book as a kid. Abandoning his spot in line, he headed straight for it.
A rush of pleasure went through him as he picked it up. It wasn’t the original cover, but it was still like seeing an old friend somewhere unexpected.
He hadn’t planned on getting Lucy anything. She’d been so bent out of shape about the long underwear—who knew what she’d do if he got her a Christmas gift? But he wouldn’t call it a Christmas present. He wouldn’t even wrap it. He just wanted to be able to talk to her about it.
He got back in line again, this time anxious about the gift as well as hot and irritated. It was a relief to head home, except he still wasn’t sure what to do about her reading.
Pulling into the driveway, he saw that Lucy had chains on her all-weather tires. Judging by the amount of snow covering her car, she hadn’t gone anywhere, so she must have put them on herself.
He couldn’t help smiling at the thought. She was going to make him take back everything he’d ever said about her not making it up here.
He spent the rest of the day working, except for a break for a quick snowshoe. He followed the trail Lucy had broken through the snow and smiled at Hilde’s zany tracks around and through Lucy’s.
He could imagine it clearly, but he’d never gone out with her.
He wanted to, though. The thought surprised him, but it was true. For the first time since Ricky died, he wanted company. He wanted to see the world he loved through her eyes. It was starting to seem like she might love it out here, too. When bears weren’t nearby, anyway.
By the time he made it back to his cabin, four inches had fallen. Another five inches had fallen by four o’clock. Even with snow tires and chains, driving in this would be no picnic, especially for someone completely unused to it. He picked up the phone to call her, then noticed her outside cleaning off her car, the dog nosing around her.
He pulled on his boots and jacket and headed out the door, breaking a new trail through the fresh powder.
“Lucy.”
His voice was loud in the silence of snow falling, and she visibly jolted.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“That’s all right. What are you doing out here?”
“I thought I’d save you the trouble of driving tonight and take you in my truck. It’s going to be rough going, even with the right tires. You don’t want to be stressing over the drive before your reading.”
“How did you know about that?”
“I was at the bookstore today.”
“Oh. Right.” She brushed some snow off the windshield without looking at him. “I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want you to feel obligated to come.”
“Well, I want to go, so can I drive you?”
“Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”
“How long do you need to get ready?”
“Not long. Ten minutes?”
“Sounds good.”
Back in his cabin, he stoked the fire and grabbed his keys and wallet. It didn’t take long to clear snow off the truck, but it was only marginally warmer inside than out when he pulled up in front of Lucy’s cabin.
A few seconds later she came out, a leather tote in one mittened hand. She tossed it in first, then hauled herself up onto the seat.
“Do you think anyone will come out in this? I called the store to see if the reading was still on, and they said they never canceled for snow, only if the power went out.”
“The snow won’t stop most people up here. Besides, they all seem to want to shop. It was a zoo earlier.”
“You must have hated it.”
He couldn’t help his smile. “I did.”
His truck handled the snow well, but he took it easy on the unplowed roads.
“Nervous?” he asked, taking in her tightly clasped hands.
“Yes, a little. I always am before a reading.”
“I can imagine.”
“And it’s not only this. A few weeks ago, someone at the library asked me to teach a writing workshop for teenagers. I recently learned my proposal was accepted.”
“You don’t look too happy about it, but that sounds pretty flattering.”
“I suppose it is, and I was excited about the idea at first. But now I’m remembering how I feel about speaking in public. I almost wish she’d rejected my proposal.”
“You’ll be great.”
“It’s for six weeks,” she said, as if she were doomed for all time.
“Maybe focus on tonight. Take one thing at a time, you know?”
“Right. That’s a good idea. I’ll just be petrified about tonight.”
She grew quiet again and he let her be in her own thoughts. The traffic got busier as they approached town, and by the time he turned onto the main drag, it was clear no one had let the snow stop them.
“I’ll drop you off and find a parking spot,” he said, stopping in front of the bookstore. “I’m not sure how far away I’ll have to park this beast.”
“Oh, okay. Wish me luck.”
He smiled. “You’ll be great.”
When he made it to the bookstore ten minutes later, it was as busy as it had been that morning. People milled among the bookshelves, and the line for the cash register stretched halfway to the door.
He made his way to the back room, where rows of chairs were set up facing a podium. All the chairs were occupied—many of them with children and young teenagers—but for a few empty seats in the middle of each row. A good turnout then. He needn’t have worried.
He saw a few people he knew. Some were folks who lived in town year-round and owned businesses, others were tourists who visited every year. You got to know people on the slopes and in the restaurants after a while, but this year he hadn’t been out and about like he used to be.
He spotted Lucy in a chair up front. Her head was bent, as if she were looking at something on her lap. His heart started beating faster in nervous anticipation. Lucy was shy and not entirely confident. What if she read poorly, stammering her way through? She’d be mortified, and he’d have to lie about how it went.
Then a man walked up to the podium. The crowd—over fifty now, including those standing around the room—fell silent as he introduced Lucy.
“Welcome to Turn the Page, and thank you all for coming. I’m Hector Diaz, the owner, and I’m incredibly pleased to introduce tonight’s author, Lucy Pond. I first came across Lucy’s name in glowing reviews. One remarked on her ‘sure and lyrical prose,’ another on how ‘she unerringly conveys the doubt and beauty in young adults fighting their way toward a vision of themselves only they can see.’ And someone wrote, ‘There is nothing precious about Ms. Pond’s characterization of childhood and the long road out of it. There are real terrors, and her heroine, Abigail, faces them with the kind of grit and determination we long for in our heroes.’”
Hector smiled and took off his glasses. “As soon as I picked up Breaking the Rules , I saw all that and more. I fell into the world Lucy Pond created, and I didn’t come out until I’d read every word. So you can imagine my pleasure when I met the author herself several weeks ago, right here in my own store. You are all in for a treat. Please welcome Lucy Pond.”
Lucy stood up and took her place behind the podium. She was radiant, smiling at the crowd, her eyes shining.
“Thank you all so much for coming. It’s amazing to be talking to so many people after sitting in a cabin alone for so many weeks.”
Her voice had the slight breathlessness he’d heard when she was out of her element—including when he kissed her—but her poise never left her. Gabe leaned forward as she started to read a passage from her published book and let her slightly husky delivery flow over him. Maybe he wasn’t the target audience, but he got caught up in the story anyway.
She read for twenty minutes—her gaze warm and alert whenever she looked up from the book and took in the audience. When the scene was done, she closed the book.
The entire room broke into applause, and Lucy’s tentative smile turned luminous. His heart swelled as he clapped for her, strangely overcome by seeing her in her element and knowing the whole room recognized her talent.
When she looked his way and caught his eye, he winked.
The clapping died down as Hector came forward.
“That was wonderful, Lucy. Thank you. Lucy will be taking questions, but before we start, I’m happy to let you all know that she’ll be running a free six-week writing workshop, starting next month, for anyone twelve through eighteen years of age. I know many of you are only here for a short time, but I hope some of you will be able to make it. We have flyers on the table for anyone interested.”
A girl in front of Gabe leaned toward her mother. “Do you think I could do that?”
He smiled and looked around. The room was buzzing.
“Okay,” Hector continued. “Who has a question for Lucy?”
The first one came from a young girl, maybe thirteen. “Were you like Abigail when you were young?” she asked.
Lucy looked thoughtful. “I think I wrote about Abigail because I felt like her quite a bit when I was young. But unlike Abigail, I never did anything about it except imagine other lives for myself. Abigail is much braver than I ever was.”
He frowned at that, thinking about all she had gone through as a child. How could she think she wasn’t brave?
One of the few men in the audience raised his hand and said that he thought Abigail was a great role model for girls, and a reminder to him not to shortchange his daughter. “I let my boys run a bit wild, but I’ve never encouraged Emma to take risks. You’re making me rethink that.”
Even from where he sat, Gabe could see Lucy flush with pleasure.
“Thank you so much for saying that,” she replied. “I think we all have some work to do in that regard, but Emma is lucky to have a dad who gets that.”
There were a few more questions about her next book and how long she would be living in Jeffrey, and then Hector thanked everyone for coming and said Lucy would be signing books for the next half hour.
Lucy sat down at a table that was set up near the podium, and immediately a line formed.
He should take her out for dinner when she was done here so they could celebrate properly. He could order some champagne and toast her success.
Except...no. She’d inevitably ask him something about his life, something he couldn’t answer. How long would it be before he snapped at her, or confused her by evading a simple question?
God, how he wanted to give her something special today, but it wasn’t going to happen.
Instead, he drove her back to her cabin, congratulated her, and watched her disappear through the door, wishing he could follow?.