Chapter Eighteen
Lucy walked into the empty cabin and shut the door behind her. There was no one there to greet her, no Hilde to nuzzle into her palm or steady her with her sturdy bulk.
And no Gabriel.
It took her a while to clean up the mess on the floor, and she was exhausted when she finally lay down on the sofa with her phone beside her.
She woke a few hours later to it ringing.
“Hello?”
“This is the Jeffrey Veterinary Hospital. Is this Lucy?”
She sat up. “Yes. Is Hilde okay?”
“She’s resting comfortably. She hasn’t thrown up since you brought her in, and she looks more alert. Her bloodwork isn’t showing anything abnormal, so the doctor feels it was most likely something she ate.”
“What do you think could make her react like that?”
“There are no plants around here that are toxic to dogs, but there are household products and plants that can be dangerous for pets.” She listed a few websites with more information and suggested she do an inventory of the house. “You might want to keep her on a leash for a little while to make sure she doesn’t eat anything.”
“Yes, okay.”
“We’ll call again in the morning to let you know when she’s ready to go.”
She hung up and sagged against the cushions. Thank God. It was going to be lonely without Hilde tonight, but at least she was better. That was all that mattered.
Now she had to tell Gabriel. She ached to hear his voice, but it only led to more pain and confusion. Maybe she could text him. Would that be so bad?
In the end, she called. The truth was, she wanted to hear him, even if it took her hours to recover.
He answered on the first ring, his voice a gravelly rumble. “Lucy.”
Her body responded to his voice in her ear the way it always had. As he’d trained it to. Heat washed over her, followed by a longing so acute, for a moment she couldn’t speak.
“Lucy? Is everything okay?”
“Yes, sorry. Hilde’s fine. I can pick her up in the morning.”
“That’s a relief.”
“You can say that again. She gave me a real scare.” She played with the fringe on the throw blanket. “I’m going to have to keep her on leash for a few days, even going to the bathroom, which will really cramp her style.”
“Just remind her of the mess she made.”
She smiled into the phone before she caught herself. What was she doing? Intimate conversations with him were a thing of the past.
“I’d better go,” she said.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
She hung up without another word, because the tears were coming now, and she couldn’t hide it another second.
She’d needed his help, and his presence had calmed her, but being so close to him had wiped out the distance she’d managed to create in her mind these last few weeks. Instead of being numb and unapproachable like the last time she saw him, he’d been kind and attentive. She sensed the same yearning in him she felt herself.
Part of her wondered if she should stay longer, give it more time.
But nothing had changed, and she needed to take care of herself. It felt good to know that she could.
She lay in bed a short time later, thinking about her book. She couldn’t change her and Gabriel’s story, but at least she could create the ending she wanted for her characters. She’d let Maggie and Mick have their happily ever after. Why shouldn’t they get everything they wanted? As sad as she was, she felt less defeated than when she’d arrived, and she believed in happy endings.
A few days later, with Hilde snoring in her bed by the fire, she finished the final chapter.
Mick paced in front of Maggie, agitated, his cap in his hands.
“I fall asleep every night thinking of you. I wake from dreams of holding you in my arms. You’re all that fills my head, Maggie. All I want.”
“You don’t mean those things. It’s only that I say no when all the other girls chase you and flirt.”
“Maybe you don’t flirt, but you tell me you like me just the same.”
“And what do you mean by that?”
He took her by the shoulders and leaned in, his voice dropping until he was whispering in her ear. “Oh, you want me, Maggie. I see how you look at me when you think I’m not watching. You blush every time I glance at you, and your body goes soft when I put a hand on your arm.”
“I...you...”
Then he kissed her, his mouth warm and sure on hers, his hands cupping her face. She gasped, her senses rushing to keep up with what was happening. Her mind, ever on her side, went blank under the flood of new feelings.
Once, when she was eighteen, a man had kissed her on the cheek, and when she was twelve a boy had stolen a kiss on her lips in a dare, but those weren’t kisses. She knew that now.
“Lovely Maggie. You taste so sweet,” he murmured, kissing her throat, behind her ear, across her cheek.
Her eyes closed, and she lost herself in the feel of his lips. She leaned her head against his shoulder and let his body absorb her trembling. His arms wrapped around her, holding her close..
So this was why girls got in trouble.
“I’ve declared myself to you every way a man can, Maggie. I’ve told you I love you and I want to marry you. I’m ready to promise you everything I have. I can give you a good life.”
“I want that. Truly I do. But do you want a wife who gets called away at all times of the day and night? Who isn’t around to fix your meals like other wives?”
“Who do you take me for? I know how much you want to be a doctor and how good you are at it. You saved my mother, for heaven’s sake.”
Tears threatened at those words, but what did either of them know about what married life would bring?
“No other wives you know work. It drives men away. It will drive you away.”
“I didn’t say it would be easy, but I’m no coward, and I don’t break my promises. I’m proud of what you do, Maggie, and I’d be proud to have such a wife. We’ll get someone to help us once we have children, and then you can be off whenever you need to be.”
Hearing him plan so made her head spin. Children, and they’d only just kissed!
“I can’t seem to think straight around you.”
“Is that so?” That devilish gleam was in his eye. He nuzzled into her neck, his breath soft against her ear. “Then it’s only fair, for I’ve not had a moment’s peace since I met you.”
“And you won’t have another if you marry me,” she said, laughing even as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“It sounds perfect.”
She emailed the manuscript to her editor with a little prayer that she’d like it. If she and Gabriel were still together, he’d have congratulated her and kissed her. Maybe he’d have swung her around like Mick did with Maggie.
Instead, she poured herself a glass of wine, baked some chocolate chip cookies, and gave Hilde some treats. Later in the afternoon, she headed to her final workshop.
“?Do you think you’ll ever come back here?” Carrie, her shyest student, asked.
“I plan to,” she said, realizing as she spoke that she meant it. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be here for so long again, but yes, I’ll be back.”
“Maybe you could teach us again when you do.”
This came from Marcus, the oldest in the class at seventeen. He’d been a bit of a challenge in the beginning, always questioning her, but he was also the strongest writer.
“I would love that. If I do, I’ll let all of you know.”
She looked around at all her students. Only six weeks ago they were total strangers, and now she adored them all. She hadn’t done a perfect job, but for someone who’d never taught before, it had gone surprisingly well.
Except that now everyone was sad, including her.
“You all were so amazing. I hope you’re proud of yourselves and the things you wrote.” She pulled six new leather-bound journal-style notebooks from her bag and handed them out. She’d inscribed a different quote about writing on the inside of each one. “There’s no secret to being a writer,” she said. “Just keep reading and writing and observing the world around you.”
Then there were hugs all around, and a few tears, and promises to keep in touch over email. They left the room reading the quotes she’d written.
Slowly she gathered her own books and notebooks together, put them in her bag, and left the room. The library was closing, the last few patrons heading for the door.
“Lucy!”
She turned to see Amelia, bundled in her winter coat, waiting for her near the exit like she had most nights after her workshop.
“How’d it go?”
“Bittersweet. They wanted to know if I’d be back, and if I’d teach here again.”
“I have the same question.”
“I do want to, someday. I’m not sure how soon I’ll be ready, though.”
“Let’s go get a drink. I know you’re sad, but you also accomplished something really great these past six weeks, and we should celebrate.”
“Are you still leaving on Sunday?” Amelia asked when they were seated at the wine bar a few blocks away.
Lucy nodded. “There’s no point in staying longer, and my place will be ready. I guess I’d hoped that when Gabriel heard I was leaving, he’d have some kind of epiphany, but that’s ridiculous. He’s not ready, and it’s not his fault.”
“Losing someone, especially like that, it would do a number on anyone. He probably wants to be ready, but there’s too much in the way.”
“Have you ever lost someone?” Lucy asked.
“Yes, and I wasn’t good for anything for a long time. Even now, it sometimes catches me when I’m not expecting it.”
“I’m sorry.”
Amelia shrugged a shoulder. “That’s life, right?”
“I can’t help hoping that someday I’ll get a call from him, or he’ll show up at my door, and we’ll get our happily ever after.”
“That could very well happen. But as your friend, I hope you live your life as if he never will, because it’s not in your control.”
“I guess the first step is getting some distance,” she said. But even as she uttered the words, a hole opened in her chest, threatening to swallow her up.
“Maybe I’ll come visit you and make sure you’re getting out.”
“I would love that.”
Lucy gave her an extra hard squeeze as they hugged goodbye, cherishing the fact that she could still make new friends.
There was only one more goodbye now, and she wasn’t sure how she’d make it through that one. She couldn’t even think about it. Instead she cooked the last of her perishable food, packed her belongings, and made the most of her morning snowshoes with Hilde. She wouldn’t have many more of them, and the knowledge made it both more beautiful and more heartbreaking.
This mountain had changed her. Back when she was enduring treatments, and for a couple of years afterward, all she wanted was to be able to walk around the block or have the stamina to cook a meal for her family. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined herself as strong and sure as she was now.
Every day here had been a gift, even when she was miserable, because now she knew what she was capable of. Being here and loving Gabriel had changed her. Anything was possible now.