CHAPTER 21 #2
“No, it’s okay. I like salmon better. I used to take my boyfriend salmon fishing all the time, which kind of sucks now.”
“Why? Wait, you took your boyfriend? He didn’t know how to fish?”
“Of course he knew how. In Sweetbriar, kids learn how to fish before they can say their ABCs. I just happened to be dating the one guy who would rather work on his Star Wars models. He always smelled like glue, and not in a fun way.”
That makes me laugh. “Ash and I tried sniffing glue once when we were in junior high. Worst headache ever. So why did going salmon fishing with your boyfriend suck?”
“Because I got addicted to fresh salmon, and now one fish costs as much as a tank of gas. I don’t know how it happened, but it sucks.”
“I take it you don’t fish anymore.”
“Never have time. So, what happened with the babysitter?”
“Ah, that.” I lean back in my chair. “Like I said, Ash was only eleven, but he was one horny kid, let me tell you. Anyway, he wanted to see the babysitter topless so bad, he offered to pay her his entire savings, which was about fifty dollars. I wasn’t there, but boy did I hear about it.
The girl said for fifty dollars, she’d strip completely naked in the backyard for him.
You can imagine how my brother reacted to that. Ash thought he hit the jackpot.”
Maddie leans closer. “You’re kidding? She really did it?”
“Not exactly. She took Ash outside and told him he had to strip first. He didn’t realize that was part of the deal, but being eleven, and still horny mind you, he took everything off.
From what I understand she was standing there holding her hands out, so Ash handed over all of his clothes.
Then she turned around, walked back into the house, and locked the door.
I guess that’s when she yelled through the window that the front door was unlocked.
Later, Ash said there were a lot of neighborhood kids playing outside that day, including one girl in particular, Crystal McDaniel.
He said it took a while to muster up enough courage, but he finally made it into the house.
But within minutes, Crystal told her mom what she had just seen.
As you can imagine, Crystal’s mom was furious and she called our mom. ”
“Oh my gosh! What did your mom do?”
“Not much. The babysitter told our mother that Ash would have to explain why he was outside butt-ass naked. Ash thought about it and didn’t know where to begin. How was he supposed to tell her he paid the babysitter fifty bucks to take her top off and somehow he was the one who ended up naked?”
Maddie has her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh out loud. “What did he end up telling her?”
“That he accidentally kicked over an ant pile and didn’t realize they were all over him until it was too late.
Normally, Mom would never have believed a story like that, but the babysitter backed him up and said that’s exactly what happened.
Oh, and she kept the fifty dollars. Not that Ash cared. He was just glad she covered for him.”
“That’s hilarious. Where were you while this was happening?”
“Helping my dad. He was a diesel mechanic. By the time I was fifteen, I could rebuild just about any diesel engine by myself.”
“Why wasn’t Ash with you?”
“Mom was strict about certain things, and one of them was Dad couldn’t take us to work until we were twelve. When her mind was made up, there was no arguing with her. I think that’s where Elsie gets it.”
“Makes sense. Still, that’s so crazy about your brother. I wonder if Rhonda knows about it?”
I give her a wry look.
“Yeah,” she says with a chuckle. “I guess that’s not something you share.”
“So, what happened with the kid you babysat?”
She sets her spoon down and thinks about it for a second before answering.
“The boy also wanted me to take my top off and the little horndog wouldn’t take no for an answer.
I mean, he was relentless, so I told him I would do it, but only if he could eat three habanero peppers.
Every time I babysat him, I took a jar of them with me. ”
“How many could he eat?”
“None. As soon as the first one touched his mouth, he’d spend the next hour at the sink running water over his tongue. I have to hand it to him, though, he tried every time. Poor guy. I almost felt sorry for him.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “Almost?”
“Yeah, he tried so hard, but I think he deserved what he got. What about you?”
“Oh, I would have swallowed the entire jar of peppers, no question about it.”
The whole time she was telling her story, I was rooting for the kid wondering what those perfect breasts look like—or better yet, taste like. Hell, what would the rest of her taste like?
To my surprise, her brows shoot into arches. “I meant, do you have any babysitter stories?”
Hmm, I guess I misunderstood. But hey, I wasn’t lying. “None that I care to recall.” I raise my hand to signal the waiter two tables over and call out, “Check, please.”
Maybe it’s imagining her pulling her tits out for the kid, every boy’s ultimate fantasy, but listening to her story made my dick so hard it feels like it’s about to shred my zipper. It’s beyond uncomfortable and right now, I need a long, ice-cold shower.