Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
I might be paranoid—but I’m pretty sure my new not-friend is definitely pissed at me.
At first, I thought it was because I insisted on letting Stanley come up to my bedroom. I knew he would be tired after following me around the zvorn all day—he’s currently cough-snoring under the window Rask used to break into.
Memories of the pink male and our king, burning their gazes into my naked body, flood my mind. I remember everything Cylus said before things went off the rails.
Stryllas.
It means fallen star…
The thought must spike my scent with some blend of shame and arousal, because Norabi harrumphs, pulling at my hair harder than necessary for the braid she’s plaiting.
I can’t exactly complain. This female is a warrior—telling her she’s tugging my roots too tight is just embarrassing. Then again, after what I learned about her this morning, I’m fairly certain I’ll never measure up to her courage and grace.
I watch her in the mirror opposite us, my gut seething with helpless anger. This isn’t fair, damn it. All these good Roktusians, doing their best for this beautiful planet.
She’s the queen they deserved. Not some clueless, confused human. Not an omega with a voice buried somewhere in their body who demands the very best males tend to her… no matter what it costs them.
How could the universe be so cruel, killing Norabi’s mate?
Rask’s words from our night at his cave slither into my mind. Once a mate is lost, we never find another.
I must smell truly awful, because by the time she finishes braiding, Norabi’s shoulders are hitched up to her ears. “Dear Stelaris, Sofi,” she chides in a mutter. “What is wrong?”
Too many things to count. Everything with Cylus. The way Rask left without a word last night. Zolkan’s confession this morning.
How I honestly cannot understand the depth of my feelings for any of them… let alone all of them at once.
I open my mouth to tell her any of that. Instead, she gets a scratchy whisper.
“Zolkan told me what he did. How he—how you guys lost Zazt. And how you took his wings.”
Norabi’s face hardens, but her eyes burn into my reflection for long moments. She finally steps back with a sniff, turning her head. “I had no choice, omega. Believe me, I did not relish the task. Zolkan is my oldest friend.”
I believe her. Norabi might be strong beyond my wildest dreams, but she isn’t cruel or bitter.
A hundred queries run through my head. Everything from asking how awful it was, to questioning why she agreed to be the one who did it. In the end, though, there’s only one thing that really matters.
“Don’t you hate him?” I peep. “Even a little bit?”
Norabi pauses, keeping her eyes fixed out my window. Her regal shoulders slump on a sigh. “No. It was—it wasn’t his fault. Not truly. I never blamed him for the mission, or his hope that we could end the war. He’s always been a good male at heart. I could never hate him…”
A sad smile curves her plated features. “Really, he is the best king we’ve ever had. If he could just forgive himself, he might realize that his peaceful nature isn’t a weakness—and his humility is the only reason we still have hope.”
Because he took me instead of resigning Khanos to its withering fate. He could have waited for his own mate—or refused out of stubborn pride.
But I know Zolkan well enough to understand: anything he’s ever done? Has only been for the good of his people. Even if it didn’t work out the way he planned.
Like me.
Oblivious to my wince, Norabi goes on, “Besides, I never needed to hate Zolkan. My brother has guarded a grudge large enough for the entire planet.”
Images of the two of them sharing me last night flood my brain. Their claws and tails touching each other—always with an edge of viciousness I found delicious. My cheeks heat. Norabi notices and gives a humorless smirk.
“You ought to be proud of yourself, I suppose,” she offers. “You managed to get them in a room together for longer than I ever have since that horrible day.” Her brow arches. “I suppose it helps that you have a magic cunt to hypnotize them.”
A laugh snorts out of me before I can help it. Surprised, I scan her face for any trace of a true insult, but she only pinches her lips to keep from smirking.
I think she’s teasing me. The way an actual friend might.
Whatever look she finds on my features softens hers further.
She exhales again, gesturing at the door.
“We’ll be late for our meal. I know Zolkan has been looking forward to seeing you all day.
Though, now that you smell like Cylus, I have a feeling he won’t last the entire meal before he has to have you. ”
My insides flip as I cringe. “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me. I—I’m—”
I’m not sorry. As I picture Cylus on his knees, gazing up at me with such earnest want… I know I can’t apologize for it. I wanted him as much as I want Rask or Zolkan.
Norabi tosses her dark hair back. “You are an omega,” she states. “It’s up to your alphas to court you and win you. One of them will triumph, eventually.”
She’s right—I know she has to be…
But the thought of one of these males besting the others puts a sick twist in my stomach all the way to dinner.