Avery
T he party was at Wes’s house, George hand-painted a banner on butcher paper and we ordered pizza. The whole band came to Caper with their families, or at least Luca’s and Jared’s showed up. Evelyn captured everything as she wielded George’s camcorder that night.
“You have to stop doing that!” Luca yelped when she jumped out from behind a pillar, pointing the lens right in his face.
“If you’re going to be famous, I need to get videos I can sell to the tabloids,” she said and started to chase her brother. He shielded his face as he ran through the downstairs but intentionally let her catch him.
When we finished eating, Dad grabbed empty pizza boxes and napkins for the guys to sign, insisting that they’d be worth something someday.
I tried, but I just couldn’t match everyone else’s level of excitement. When things hit a lull, I escaped to the back porch. The sun was starting to kiss the horizon, and a few horses were grazing in the pasture before returning to their stalls for the night.
It wasn’t long before someone stepped out to join me. The weight of a scratchy wool blanket settled over my shoulders. “You’re going to freeze out here,” Wes said.
“Are you excited?”
“I want to be, but every time we get close to something, it goes wrong.” The smile he’d been wearing all night melted away.
This was the version of Wes he never let anyone else see.
He cocked his head to the side, his jaw cutting a shadow with the help of dim overhead lights.
Over the last year he’d sharpened and grown.
I’d been taller than him for a while, but now we stood eye to eye.
“But it always works out.”
“Only because you’re there to save my ass.”
“You did this all on your own.” And that was the thing. I wasn’t sure if he needed me anymore, even though I’ve grown to need him.
“I did what you would have done, so it only happened because you rubbed off on me.” He laughed to himself. “I called a Rock & Roll Hall of Famer a ‘washed-up rock star.’”
“Sounds like me.” The corners of my lips twitched.
His expression sobered. “Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Thankfully, the door slid open. Evelyn poked her head through the gap. “Everyone’s getting sleepy, so we’re cleaning up and you’re not getting out of helping.” She turned to me, bouncing on her toes. “Avery, can I sleep over with you tonight?”
With her wide pleading green eyes, I couldn’t say no.
By the time we got back to my house, neither of us were tired, so I popped Rumours into my CD player. It was criminal that she hadn’t listened to the revelation that was Steve Nicks singing “Dreams”.
The striped duvet on my queen-size bed tugged under me as she shifted onto her side to face me.
“Girls are going to hate you because they’re jealous you hang out with them. I just thought you should know,” she told me matter-of-factly.
“Um, excuse you. What do you know about that stuff?” I poked her in the side playfully, earning a burst of giggles as she wriggled away from me.
Catching her breath, she rolled her eyes in that I just turned thirteen and I know this, so obviously you should know this too way. “Not Luca, because that’s gross. But they’re kinda hot. I mean, if you’re a fan of that thing.”
“Okay?”
“And you and Wes. It’s going to be hard, but I don’t think you’ll break up. At least not for a while. You should just expect it.”
“Wow. Thanks for the confidence. One problem. We’d have to be dating to break up.
” My cheeks heated at the thought of being with him, that Evelyn thought we were.
It’s not like I hadn’t considered what it would be like.
At winter formal everyone was dancing and sneaking off to dark corners, but all I could think of was getting out of the sparkly dress George helped me pick out and driving to Nashville in hopes of catching the tail end of the guys’ set.
Wes was my favorite person in the world, and I didn’t need to complicate it with romance.
She rolled back over. “Then you should have no problem with people desperate to get their hands on him. Posters of him in their rooms. Imagine waking up in the morning and bam ! Jared is up there on your ceiling.”
“I’m okay with not picturing that. And they have a long way to go before they have hordes of fans,” I muttered.
I wasn’t in the mood to hear how Wes would soon have his pick of girls who knew how to bite their tongue and be charming. If he wanted one of them, fine. I’d just have to deal with it. I got up and turned off the music before curling up with her under the covers.
The next morning, everyone returned to Wes’s to say goodbye. Afterward, our parents went into town for groceries. This left Wes and me alone.
“I know you’re mad but I have nothing to apologize for,” he said, sounding anxious, and it seemed like he’d rehearsed his words. “But I’m really proud of us. This is my dream, Avery. Some days, music seems like the only thing I can control, and I need it. I thought you’d understand that.”
I was taken aback for a moment. Mad at him? How could I be mad at him?
“I’m not mad. I’m scared, Wes.” Tears threatened, pricking the back of my eyes as I voiced my worst fear. “What if I never catch up? What if you forget me?”
I was working hard but still had another year in school.
Working with Martin was a once-in-a-lifetime deal.
I couldn’t expect to get the same chance.
Would I see his face on a glossy magazine cover in ten years, and say I used to know him?
It was painful to think of him in the past tense while he stood right in front of me.
As hot tears fell and my vision swam, his arms wrapped around me. My face notched into the juncture of his neck.
He swept his fingers through my hair, tugging gently as they caught on a knot. “Never. Who could forget you? You’re the reason any of this was possible. If you didn’t push us to keep going, we would have given up after the first time we failed.”
“You say that now, but you don’t know.” I pulled back, breaking free of his hold.
“We’re permanent,” he said, then repeated, almost to himself, “Permanent.” Inspiration flared bright in his eyes. “Come with me.”
Dad had black ink wells for a fountain pen he rarely used. With that, and one of the sterilized needles George had for sutures, we had our supplies.
“Are you sure you want a tattoo?” I asked, kneeling at his side on his bedroom floor.
The bare expanse of his torso stretched in front of me was an intimidating canvas.
He’d gained muscle, arms defined from playing guitar for hours.
Last summer his shirts fit so tightly that when he was mucking the stalls the fabric would plaster to his back, clearly displaying the hard shift of his shoulder blades. “This is going to last forever.”
“Why wouldn’t I want it to last forever? If you’re planning on getting rid of me anytime soon, you better break it to me now.”
“Maybe we should wait. We can do it when we’re both eighteen and go somewhere professional. What if I give you an infection?”
“I don’t want someone else to do it. I want to look at myself in the mirror and see the lines you made.” He took my hand and placed it on the left side of his chest, over his heart. It pounded a rapid beat that matched my own. “Right here, this is where it should be.”
“You’re sure?” My stomach fluttered as he continued to hold my hand in place.
“You’re the only person I trust to do this.”
I braced myself against him, laying my free hand on the flare of his ribs, and positioned the needle over his racing heart. As I pressed down he winced, muscles tensing under my touch.
I stopped, but he urged me on through gritted teeth. “Keep going, Ave, unless you enjoy stabbing me.”
“Shit, sorry, this angle is weird. Let’s see, what if I…” I started as I shifted, maneuvering so I was balanced over him, legs on either side of his hips. “This should work.”
“Yeah?” Wes asked, his voice going weird and breathy, I met his gaze to find the blue of his eyes swallowed by inky pupils.
“Are you okay?” I hovered over him, his skin seeming the heat wherever we touched.
“Perfect.” He nodded slowly, Adam’s apple bobbing. “You’re perfect.”
“I could move if you need.”
“No. Stay.” His hands landed on my waist, locking me in place and not showing any signs of moving.
I started again. One hand on his chest to help keep myself steady as I worked. It was sloppy thanks to how my focus fizzled out each time he shifted beneath me. I dreaded thinking how it would heal that way, retaining its wobbly crescent moon shape.
We switched and he repeated the same for me, but with a sun on the inside of my arm. I wanted mine to be visible so I could look down anytime I needed a reminder of him.
From that night on, he was pressed into my skin.