23. Wesley
Wesley
Evelyn
Are you already there?
Garrett
Was the group chat necessary? You could have just texted me when your car is pulling up.
Evelyn
You’re just allergic to fun.
Jared
We’re already here and George is handing out shots like Capri Suns
Evelyn
Why the hell didn’t you say so?
Luca
What the fuck is this?
Luca has left the chat.
Garrett has left the chat
Evelyn has added Garrett back to the chat.
W e’re sitting at a table in a VIP section, the throbbing music spilling out over the shifting lights of the dance floor. Garrett and Jared are on either side of me on the velvet cushions while Mom talks to our server, trying to help her.
“Mom, you’re overwhelming her! Let her do her job,” I shout through a smile.
It’s always fun to see her out. There was a small cancer scare after a routine checkup a few years ago that turned out to be nothing, but after that she’s been doing more for herself in what she calls her semi-retirement.
Which I don’t get because retirement doesn’t seem like you can only half do.
But there’s a new vet in Caper now, so Mom only works with a few select people.
For a while, I encouraged her to date and meet new people. Part of me was worried that she was lonely. But since Hudson came to Caper with Avery, she stopped dating entirely. I may never know the extent of their connection, but I know it was some form of love.
“You need to take this. I can’t have another when we’ve only been here for thirty-minutes,” Jared says, pushing a glass with neon liquid my way.
“Nah, that’s all on you guys. I don’t drink anymore.” I shake my head and lean back.
“Shit, really?”
“Yeah, it was never really my thing back in the day, and I’m remembering why. It’s nice to feel present.”
Garrett claps a hand on my shoulder. “Good for you, man.”
“Not the only thing that’s back to the way it used to be,” Jared singsongs, brows raised suggestively.
“Yeah, the concert wasn’t a disaster,” Garrett adds.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I grumble, even as my lips twitch.
“Is the long game with Avery finally paying off? Or do we need to wait another decade before you two come to your senses?” Jared nudges my ribs with an elbow. I hate to admit that I’ve missed his teasing, but I do.
I swat him away as my cheeks flame. “It’s good. We’re something.”
“Something, notoriously known for being better than nothing. Care to share with the class what that something is?” This time Jared holds out his hand toward my face, pretending to hold a mic.
“Friends,” I say with some level of confidence.
Really, I wish I had a better word for it.
She’s been the reason I’ve had somewhere to be every morning for weeks now.
At night, hers is the last voice I hear.
Performing alongside her felt like running across hot coals, unable to stop for a moment or risk burning myself.
She makes me feel alive and for the first time in so long, I have a life I’m excited about living.
“Who kissed last night.” And made each other come and slept in the same bed, but those feel safer to leave out.
“Fuck, way to burry the lead!” Jared grabs me again to shake me by the shoulders.
I let him as a laugh tumbles out of me. “I still can’t believe it myself.”
Garrett cocks his head, brows dipped inward with obvious concern. “You think it’s the real deal?”
“Fuck. I hope so,” I say.
The only moment I had to talk to her was before we went on stage. After we were done, we had to rush to undress before meeting up with everyone.
I need to pull her away the moment I have a chance to. I’m not going to let her think that kiss means nothing and won’t happen again. And if what she said last night is true, she has to feel at least a fraction of what I do.
I take a moment to look at each of them. “It was only possible because you both gave me the push I needed. But even after that, I was working to get better for Avery, to be the best I could for her on this tour, but I’ve learned to do it for myself too.”
I like myself again, something I didn’t know was possible.
“I get that. Sometimes it’s easier to care about others more than ourselves.” Jared nods. “I started therapy when Alyssa got pregnant. I wanted to be a good father but didn’t know how. For so long, my identity was wrapped up in music and things were about to change. I wanted to be there for them.”
“You’re a good dad,” I say, a pang of jealousy lancing through my side.
I try not to think about it, how I’ll never really be free from my past. But all the same, it’s good to hear about this new stage of his life.
This is how I thought it would be. Growing older together instead of growing apart.
It makes me brave enough to say, “I would love to meet the kids. I’ve seen pictures. But I get if that would be too much.”
“I think they’ll love you.” The creases around his mouth deepen into a smile.
“Yeah, because he has the heart of a kid himself. They’ll get along great,” Garrett remarks.
“Oh, fuck off.” I roll my eyes but still smile.
“That’s not a bad thing, you know, to be able to have fun the way you do,” Garrett says.
Jared takes one of the shots from the table, his mouth puckering as he does. “Shit. That’s bad.”
“There you are!” Evelyn yells as she slides in next to Garrett, who pulls her up onto his lap. It’s good to see them finally together after years of him pretending he doesn’t care for her. Garrett needs someone like Evelyn to push him towards happiness.
My brows pinch as I survey the club. Alyssa is standing and talking to Mom, but there’s no hint of red hair to be seen anywhere. “Where’s Avery?”
Evelyn plucks a shot glass from the table. “We dropped her off at home, that’s why it took us so long to get here.”
“Is she okay?”
I was so sure she’d make it. She was hesitant earlier today when I was talking about Mom, but they both seemed all right after the show.
“Yeah, it was just a long day and she wanted to get some rest. But in my professional opinion, she might want to see you.”
“There is no reason I should trust you.” If anyone else were to say I should go, I would. But knowing Evelyn she’s trying to throw me into a trap.
“I’m trying to play nice here.” Her voice softens, remaining just loud enough to hear over the clamor. “Whatever you’re doing, it’s good. But be careful with her, okay?”
“Does it physically pain you to be nice to me?” I ask, but don’t take Evelyn’s words lightly, she wouldn’t speak this way if she didn’t mean it.
“You’re important to two of the most important people in my life, so I’ll play nice. But know if you hurt any of them, I’ll make your life hell.”
She taps Garrett’s thigh as she gets off him then proceeds to scoot out of the booth. “Now, get up. He needs to go get the girl.”
The lights are on in her house when I arrive. A good sign, I think.
I get to her porch and knock, rocking back and forth as I wait.
Maybe I’m reading into this and she really is just tired and wants to rest. Tonight’s the start of what’s about to be months of non-stop physically and mentally taxing work.
And we aren’t nearly as young as we used to be.
I already feel the tell-tale aches that indicate I’ll be sore as hell tomorrow.
Relief washes over me as the lock clicks, and the door opens. She’s changed into a baggy shirt over shorts and washed her face, hair tied up.
“I wanted to see if everything was okay,” I rush to explain.
Her eyes dip to the floor and her voice is flat, devoid of any readable emotion. “Go back and celebrate with everyone, Wes. You don’t need to be here.”
“But I want to celebrate with you . I’ll go back if you come with me. We can dance. It could be fun. We’ve earned this.” Not just because of the performance, but everything else we’ve gone through to get here. We fought hard for this moment.
“I can’t.”
“If it’s about my mom—”
“It’s not George. She came and talked to me before the show. Everything is good. It was just a bad idea for me to go out with you tonight.” Her knuckles whiten as she tightens her grip on the door.
“Then why?” I plead.
“I almost went but then I thought about another girl even looking at you, and I knew if that happened, I would tear you away and let her know you were mine. It was either that or come home.” It’s probably the last thing I expected her to say.
“Well, I really like that option so I’m a bit disappointed that we’re not doing that.”
“Be serious.”
“I am. If you want to be with me, why aren’t you?”
A light flicks on next door and she falls silent, noting that we might be overheard.
Her focus drifts inside and she hesitates, as if inviting me in seals our fate and we’ll end up on her couch again.
I’m a fan of that option as well, but I can tell she’s working through something. “Just get in here so we can talk.”
We only step in far enough for her to close the door. In the narrow space of the entryway, I can see now that even though she’s taken off her makeup, there’s still glitter clinging to her skin, shimmering each time she sways uneasily.
“Let’s not complicate things. We have a good thing going. We’re friends and it works.”
“If I knew how to be just your friend, I would.” I take a step closer, and she backs away bumping against the wall, causing the frames to clatter.
I don’t press further, respecting her need for space even as it kills me to know she wants it.
“But we both know that’s not possible. It hasn’t been possible for a long time, and after last night there’s no way we can keep pretending. ”