Avery
“ M adison Square Garden and you’re done, right?” I asked one night on our usual call. We made a point to talk at night when Wes got home, it was always late, like one or two in the morning I hadn’t bothered to check—still, silent hours that felt entirely ours.
“Yeah, then we get a few weeks off before the European leg of the tour kicks off in four months,” he said, sounding exhausted.
I knew they were working as hard as I was.
I missed him all the time. Living in the city didn’t help, the guys were on billboards and magazine covers.
There were subheadings that would ask Which band member would be your perfect match? that would set my blood to boiling.
I didn’t know how to feel about Wes. We were married.
I always felt like we belonged to each other, but this was different.
I convinced myself that the distance was good, that it would be the best way to process how I was feeling and get over it.
We were chasing dreams and didn’t need distractions.
Still, at night on the phone, I’d close my eyes and pretend he was laying there with me as he talked.
“We should do something.”
“I’ll see you for the last show.” I shifted, bed springs from my cheap mattress pressing into my spine.
I could afford better, but I was always terrified of my security being torn away.
I wasn’t the easiest to work with, and even with a secure contract, I felt like it could go up in smoke all over again.
The last thing I wanted was to crawl back to Ivy and Nolan.
By then it had been two years since I ran away on my eighteenth birthday and I hadn’t heard from them since. It was better that way.
“I guess, but I wish we could do something without everyone watching us. Something just for us, all of us. Not a lunch that will turn into an out of context cover story. Either way, it’s been six months since we’ve done anything together. And now that I’ll have free time, I want to use it.”
“Would you bring Maddie?” I asked, hesitantly.
And then there was Maddie. His new manager turned girlfriend.
Saying her name felt like I was trying to breathe fire for the first time and scorching my insides in the process.
Even if I was starting to see Wes as something more, he didn’t see me that way.
He was going for someone experienced and mature in her thirties, while he was the only boy I’d ever kissed.
“I want it to be like it used to. And she’s not really into that stuff anyway.
” As usual, he sounded worn out. But maybe I was reading into things.
What were the best practices when your guy best friend slash secret husband got a girlfriend?
I didn’t want to overstep, when most of what I knew about their relationship was from tabloids.
But I wasn’t sure how much was true, there were rumors about me and each of the guys too. All untrue, of course.
After months of planning and rescheduling I arrived at Lake Como in April, ready to hang out with Wes, but he wouldn’t get off the damn phone with Madison.
And from the glances the guys were giving him from where they were standing next to me on the dock, I wasn’t the only one anxious for him to hang up so we could get on the yacht.
Wes paced, cell glued to his ear. “I’ve got to go. I don’t know if I’ll have reception.” He paused. “Yeah. I’ll miss you too.”
Even after we got on board and sat by the on deck pool, his phone kept ringing. Really, it was putting a damper on the absurdity of being in a pool on a perfectly swimmable lake.
“Hand it over,” Jared said, holding out his hand. He and his girlfriend, Alyssa, were on one side of the pool, Wesley and I were on the other, while Luca, Garrett, and Evelyn had found chaise lounge chairs to sunbathe on.
“Why?” Wes grabbed the phone protectively, frowning.
“So I can throw it over the edge. You told her you don’t have reception, and she’s still calling. Give it to me and blame me later.” Jared splashed across to us.
Alyssa got out of the water and padded across the deck to the cabin, her wet footprints rapidly drying from the heat of the Italian summer sun. She returned with a small open lock box, holding it out to Wes. “Phones. All of you.”
I liked her. She brought a sense of practicality to the group. Garrett was practical, but he was also too abrasive for it to be a virtue.
“Is it really necessary for all of us to participate?” Garrett demanded.
“It’s a good idea,” Evelyn told him, tipping down her sunglasses so she could look at him over the frames. “Or is it true that you’re with that Hungarian prince and waiting for him to call?”
“Hungary doesn’t have a monarchy,” Garrett told her. “And no, I just don’t see the point.”
“Boring!” Evelyn chimed.
I looked at Wes, who seemed more drained than I’d ever seen him, his near permanent grin sagging.
“I agree,” I said, crossing the shallow edge of the pool to hand Alyssa my phone. “We only have a few days here. Send people the boat’s number if it’s an emergency, but really, who’s calling us if things go to shit?”
The rest of them followed with varying degrees of excitement. Garrett was still bickering when Wes tackled him into the water. We were all caught in the spray. Jared leaped in, followed by the rest of us.
“If you’re going to fuck me, can you at least do it in private?” Jared groaned, dragging a hand across the faint stubble on his jaw.
“Why do that when this is far more entertaining?” Alyssa smirked and put down her next card, forcing Jared to draw four more. We found a set of games on the boat on the third day. It was overcast, and by then, most of us were sunburned. We weren’t opposed to a day inside.
Garrett stood, and the rest of us shifted, shielding our cards. “I’m grabbing another drink.”
“I’ll take a beer,” Wes said, to my surprise.
“Since when do you drink?” I asked. It had been a while since we had seen each other but we talked every day. Or was I just overreacting? He was twenty-two now and it was normal. It was just unsettling to be the last one to know about this change.
His eyes shifted to the floor. “Recently, I guess.”
“Maddie got him into wine and scotch,” Luca offered, with a sidelong glance.
“I guess she’s part of it,” Wes said.
“Sounds like you two are doing good then?” I winced as I said it, awkwardly overcompensating.
“As long as he picks up his calls,” Garrett muttered as he pointedly placed a can in front of Wes. I guess I wasn’t the only one who had opinions on his new girl.
“Can we not do this right now? I thought the whole point of putting our phones away was to focus on our vacation. So let’s be here and enjoy this.” He looked at me pleadingly, his eyes starting to turn hollow the way they did when we first got on the boat. “Avery, it’s your turn.”
I added my card to the top of the deck, sending the game back in motion. “Uno.”
This earned me four glares and a wink. Evelyn whispered to Luca, and the siblings flashed each other their cards. The tension from a moment ago fizzled out.
“No colluding!” Wes leaned over the table, inadvertently flashing his cards. I schooled my face knowing if he played his Uno reverse, I was screwed.
I attempted not to fidget as everyone took their turn.
Wes played his card, and I waited for the cycle to start all over again. I blinked.
A red four.
Groans and sighs of relief echoed around the circle as I set down my final card.
We all got to our feet shakily, legs having gone to sleep after sitting for so long.
Any post card game tension dissolved as we ate, stuffing ourselves with fresh caprese salad followed by hand-cut pasta with scallops and muscles.
Luca and Evelyn chatted with the crew members in Italian and ended up spending a good amount of the evening with them. Garrett turned in early to study. Jared and Alyssa also went back to their cabin.
I showered, pulled on a robe, and headed to the upper deck. On a whim, I grabbed a card from the Uno deck as I passed the table, then curled up on a circular couch.
“You should have played the reverse card and kept the game going,” I told Wes as he climbed the stairs a little while later.
Even with my eyes closed, I knew the uneven thud thump pattern of his footsteps. I’d know them anywhere. It was an intimacy born of long hours and lazy days over the course of our lives. A snide thought crept in through my bliss, I wonder if Maddie knows him from the rhythm of his footsteps .
Was he actually happy with her? From the guys’ subtle comments, I wanted to know more. But I convinced myself to wait until after the trip.
“We’d been playing for hours and were on the verge of someone committing murder. I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer it if this vacation didn’t turn into an Agatha Christie mystery.”
At his voice, I cracked open my eyes. He was wearing shorts and a cropped tank with stretched arm holes, so I could easily see the defined contours of his stomach.
My gaze lingered as I wondered how it would feel to trace the dips and ridges of his body.
Both of us had gotten more tattoos by then—a swallow on his bicep, a vine twining up my arm—but I always checked that the moon was still there right over his heart.
The cushion dipped as he sat next to me.
I pulled the card from my pocket and flicked it between my fingers. “Come on. You hate losing.”
“To anyone else, maybe,” he said. “But if me losing means that you win? I’ll do it again in a heartbeat.”
The card started to flutter on a breeze, slipping free from where I pinched it. I reached for it, but Wes caught it first.
“Here.” He pressed it into my palm.
I ran a finger over the stiff edge. “Does this ever feel like a game to you? Like we’re playing, but they’ll never tell us all the rules?”
“All the time. Why?”
“It’s nothing, and like you said, we should just enjoy being here.”