Ten
Branwen
How to explain all this to a four-year-old was as complicated as how I was going to tell Hudson. I wasn’t sure who to start with.
When I had gone back to find Stevie, she’d been in the kitchen with Jayda, elbow deep in cake batter. Her big eyes had twinkled with excitement as she explained that they were making a strawberry cake with real strawberries.
When Jayda had first walked into the great room earlier, I’d misjudged her. The fact that she was beautiful and young had made me assume the worst. Not that I was jealous of her, but because I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave my daughter with her father’s entirely too young plaything or girlfriend. His saying she worked for him had made me want to laugh. I still believed she did more than clean and cook for Linc and Luther. But that wasn’t my business. As long as they kept that away from Stevie, then whatever.
The woman had won over Stevie, and if we were being forced to live here for a year, I needed to learn to overlook a lot. They would have to clean up their lifestyle in Stevie’s presence. Whatever orgy or sex parties they used to have here ended today. They now had a four-year-old under their roof. This was something I should have brought up to Linc in his office, but his demand that we live here had thrown me for a loop. I couldn’t think clearly. Being away from his dark gaze made it easier to consider all that this really meant for us.
I still had no idea what Linc was going to demand we do about the apartment and our things. I needed to tell this all to Hudson face-to-face. I wanted to pack up our things and speak to the apartment leasing agency about getting out of the lease early or subletting. A steady throb behind my temples set in as the many different things that had to be handled rattled off in my brain.
Jesus, how had this all snowballed so quickly? I had gone over so many scenarios before coming here to get him to sign the papers, and this was not even close to any of the outcomes I had planned for. The man who had demanded I take the pill and told me he didn’t want a kid, then left without any way for me to contact him shouldn’t have wanted us to move in so he could make up for lost time. He wasn’t supposed to want her in his life. Yet I would be lying if there wasn’t a part of me that warmed toward him for it. Stevie was my greatest joy, and having the man who’d helped in giving her life see what a gift she was and want her did lessen the ache in my chest I hadn’t even realized was there. I’d carried it for so long that it had become a part of who I was.
Jayda opened the door to the oven while Stevie stood on a stool, leaning over the sink and washing her hands. I would have to think about all this later. My curious little munchkin was no longer distracted, and I was going to have to explain this to her somehow. She hopped down and hurried over to me, smiling. Today had been another adventure for her. She was happy. I just hoped that she handled it well when I told her that this adventure was going to be rather prolonged.
“Jayda is going to show me the pool!” she exclaimed.
“That is, if it’s okay with your mom,” Jayda said. “She might have other plans.”
I shrugged. “No other plans. Let’s go see that pool.”
With Stevie’s hand in mine, we followed Jayda out of the kitchen. I knew she probably had a list of things to do and entertaining us had to be annoying. But I didn’t know my way around or where Linc expected us to go next. Keeping the smile on Stevie’s face was important today. I wanted her to like it here since she had no other choice.
We were almost to two large glass doors leading out onto a patio when Linc appeared.
“Thank you, Jayda.”
She nodded, then quickly exited the room without a word.
My hand tightened on Stevie’s as he approached us. I didn’t want him bringing up anything to her yet. I needed to explain it to her and let her ask me questions first. Dropping it on her would upset her and confuse her. I was sure Linc had very little knowledge of four-year-olds. He hadn’t had one in a very long time.
“Can she swim?” he asked me.
“Yes. She’s taken swimming lessons the past two summers,” I replied.
The flash of relief in his eyes was followed by his shoulders relaxing. “Good. I have a security system being put in that will ring if any door that leads to the pool is open. There will also be an alarm that goes off if there is movement by the pool and no one is out there supervising. Just for precaution. I wasn’t sure about her swimming abilities, but even so, she never needs to go out there alone.”
I agreed that it wasn’t safe, and I’d never allow that, but the fact that he was doing all that to ensure her safety was impressive. “Thank you.”
He cut his eyes from me to the doors. “Her safety is my priority. Would you both like to go have a look outside? Perhaps tell me what kind of swing set you want.” He dropped his gaze down to Stevie, who was watching him with keen interest.
She glanced at me with a look of apprehension, then scrunched her nose as she turned back to him. “Mommy took me to pick one out, but the one I weally love is too big for Hudson’s yawd,” she told him matter-of-factly. “But she said she would find me one that fits.”
The swing set she’d wanted was one meant for a playground and multiple children. Hudson had a small vegetable garden in his backyard, along with his storage shed that took up a good amount of space. There was a small area where he’d said we could put a swing set for her. She hadn’t been happy about not getting the one she wanted and pitched a tantrum when I told her that we were shopping for a swing set only. Maybe with one slide attached, but that was it. Not an entire playset with all the extras.
“What kind did you want?” he asked, his attention solely on her.
“It had a cuwy slide and a stwaight one, a clubhouse, a lemonade stand, a wope ladduh, and thwee swings!” she exclaimed, using her hands to describe it.
He nodded and reached to open the door. “Sounds like a winner.”
“It is! But Mommy is getting me one that I will like too,” she added the last part and smiled at me, as if she needed to reassure me that she would be happy with the swing set I chose for her.
I had warned her she wouldn’t get one at all if she acted ugly about it. That had changed her tune quickly.
Linc opened the door leading outside.
“Oh wow!” she squealed.
She let go of my hand to run out onto the stone patio with a fireplace, flat screen television, a swinging bed that hung from the ceiling, and a kitchen area with a grill and a well-stocked bar. I had to agree with Stevie. Wow.
“Who lives out hewah? I want to live outside too!”
I smiled, watching her. She couldn’t seem to take it all in fast enough. Rushing from one thing to the other.
“No one lives out here. This is just a place to relax,” Linc informed her.
She pointed at the television. “You can watch Bluey outside,” she told him as if he were the luckiest human on earth.
He had no idea who Bluey was, but he would soon enough.
He glanced at me, taking out his phone and tapping the screen. “What station would, uh, I find Bluey ?” He said the last word as if he wasn’t sure he had it right.
“Any chance you have Disney Plus?” I asked.
His brows drew together. “I’ve seen that on the app options, but never clicked it.”
The screen lit up as the television came on, and he began to use his phone as a remote. When he found the Disney Plus app, he clicked it.
I held out my hand to him. “I’ll log in to my account,” I told him.
He handed it to me, and I quickly logged in. When Bluey , season two, started playing, I gave him back his phone. The opening song began, and she scrambled to the sofa and climbed up onto it with her eyes fixed on the screen. I was surprised she hadn’t gone to the swinging bed, but it was only a matter of time. Right now, Bluey had her complete attention.
“She really likes this, huh?” he said, watching her.
“Oh, yeah,” I agreed. “She’s her favorite.”
He tore his gaze off her as if it was hard to do, then turned to me. “Let’s walk over here, where we can still see her and discuss things.”
I had a list of things to ask him since I’d had time to think and let it sink in that he was making us live here. Hopefully, he was about to give me some answers. Following him out onto the uncovered portion of the patio, I began to list my questions in order in my head. I didn’t want to forget anything.
“I will have two of my men take you back to your apartment to get your things. For now, you can keep it, and there is no need to bring everything back here. Both your bedrooms are already furnished, and you can go shopping to decorate them however you would like. If Stevie would like different furniture, then I will send in an interior decorator to work with you both to turn it into whatever makes her happy.”
I took his brief pause as my chance to speak. “I can’t pay for rent without an income,” I pointed out before he could dictate more of my life.
“I’ll cover your rent for the next year. You can decide what you intend to do when the year is over. I will still want to see Stevie regularly, so living in Nashville will be an issue. I’m sure you’ve thought of that.”
I took a deep breath, trying not to get overwhelmed with having everything taken out of my hands. “What about speaking to Hudson? I can’t tell him all this on the phone.” The bitterness in my voice was thick in every word. “Not that he will understand or forgive me, but he still deserves an explanation.”
Linc’s gaze gave me a once-over before the hint of a smirk turned his lips, but his eyes remained cold. “You don’t seem very torn up over that,” he drawled.
Was he serious? Of course I was upset. But he hadn’t given me any other choice.
“I am keeping it together for her,” I hissed at him, my eyes cutting back to Stevie. “If she sees how upset I am, it will affect her.”
His expression didn’t change. “Come now, Branwen. You can’t be that heartbroken over it. The dentist looks exactly like all those other preppy losers you cast off while sitting at that bar in Vegas before I rescued you.”
I hated how he’d called him the dentist , as if that were an insult. “Hudson is a successful dentist. He is one of the top in the city. He is kind and thoughtful. I’m lucky that he even gave me a second glance. Every female patient that comes in flirts with him. His last girlfriend was a pediatrician,” I finished, snapping my mouth shut.
He hadn’t needed to know all that. My need to defend Hudson to him was pointless. What good did it do? He could think whatever he wanted.
Linc rubbed his bearded chin and let out an unamused chuckle. “You were lucky he gave you a second glance? He’s a man. We are visual. We don’t give a fuck about a medical degree. We think with our dicks, and degrees don’t get them hard. Tits, asses, curves, legs, and plump lips with stunning eyes do. I think about fucking eighty percent of my day. When men put a ring on female it because it’s one they want to sink their cock into over and over. I made that mistake once, so I know better. But since his pasty, boring ass hasn’t married yet, he doesn’t know better, and he got a look at you and wanted to claim you. Don’t kid yourself. He probably walks around with a boner all fucking day when you’re working.”
I opened my mouth, then closed it. I wasn’t sure what to say. I thought, in a roundabout way, that was a compliment. Maybe.
“Tell me, does he take you to the bathroom and bend you over the sink during working hours or find a closet to spread your legs and eat your pussy?”
My eyes shot to Stevie again, who was happily watching the screen. I felt flushed all over. Hearing Linc talk about me being bent over a sink and fucked the way he’d done to me in Vegas, or my pussy in general, set a tingle off between my legs that did not need to be there. I was going to have to live under the same roof as this man. Getting messed up in the head over him was not going to happen. I refused to give in to my attraction to him or think of him as anything more than the dictator he was.
“He doesn’t, does he?” Linc asked. “Because he is boring. Polite. Thoughtful. Kind .” He clipped out the words as if they were insults rather than the way I had meant them. “Not one of those traits equals a man who knows how to fuck.”
I licked my lips and took a steadying breath, not wanting him to see that he affected me at all.
“My sex life isn’t something I will discuss with you,” I told him, sounding too breathless. Dammit. I cleared my throat and tried to scowl. “This is inappropriate and off topic.”
Linc’s eyes trailed down to my chest. “I’ve fucked your pussy raw. I know exactly how your cunt tastes, and you’ve pulled my hair while calling me God. I’d say we are past the uptight bullshit. I’m not your dentist.”
Now, the tingle was an ache. Dammit! I hadn’t had sex in over a month. Hudson had been so tired in the evenings that he often fell asleep on the sofa before Stevie went to bed. Then, he’d wake up to leave. That was all this was. I was clearly in need of an orgasm.
“You’re blushing. That’s cute, seeing as I’ve had your legs wrapped around my head while you came all over my face.”
Jesus! Would he shut up about it already?
“Linc, stop,” I said, holding up a hand, and a deep, sinister laugh sent a shiver over me. “We have a child together. She is my only concern here. You have given me no choice but to uproot our lives and come here to live with you. I don’t need a recap of five years ago. I need to know when we are going to get our things and when I can talk to Hudson. I also need to explain all this to Stevie, and she’s going to have many things to ask you. She’s inquisitive, and seeing as how I have lied to her about her real father, this is going to be an even bigger shock.”
That got his attention.
His eyes narrowed. “What did you tell her about me?” The husky tone was gone.
At least I’d stopped his trip down memory lane.
Time to face up to this lie for the first of three times I would have to do it.
Sucking in a deep breath, I steeled myself before replying, “I told her you were dead.”
He said nothing as he stared at me.
Wanting to defend my lie, I continued, “You walked out of the hotel room with no way for me to contact you. I was left with a pregnancy that cost me my job—although do not get me wrong; I wouldn’t change it. I was given Stevie, and that was worth all of it. I struggled to eat and keep a roof over our heads, and at times, I hated you for it. Because she deserved more. Eventually, I was able to give that to her. But it was you I blamed for the times she went without. To me…you were dead.”
I watched as his eyes showed the range of emotions that his expression did not. It remained the same. He studied me, then shifted his focus to Stevie. “And I paid for it. By missing four years of her life.”
Fine, whatever. He had missed a lot, but I’d done what was best for her. Not that any of it mattered now. He was getting his revenge. He’d snatched everything I had wanted and worked for away from me with the snap of his fingers.
“That lie gets cleared up today. She needs to know I’m her father. That everything I’m going to hand to her is from the man who will take care of her. Protect her. I don’t want to hear her refer to the dentist as her new dad ever again.” Controlled rage flared in his eyes as they swung back to me. “Change in plans. Tomorrow, I’ll go with you to get your things. Once you know what you’d like to bring back here, we can leave my men to pack it up, and I’ll take you to speak with the dentist. Stevie can stay in the car with me. There’s a television in there, and I’ll be sure, uh, Bluey is available for her to watch.”
He was going to sit in the car while I went in and talked to Hudson? That would make it worse. There was a sliver of hope that Hudson might possibly forgive me. How could he even consider it with Linc waiting outside for me? It would just be rubbing salt into the wound.
Hudson told me he loved me regularly, but I’d never said the actual words back to him. He never mentioned it, but I knew he’d noticed. Every time he said them, I saw the pleading in his eyes. The hope that I’d say them back. Doing it now would not only be yet another lie, but it would appear calculating. I did love him, but I wasn’t in love with him. I was going to make it up to him by being an excellent wife. And when he was ready, maybe have a child with him. It was all slipping away. Melting in my grasp like a piece of ice until it was all gone. Splattered on the floor, unable to return to what it once had been.
“I don’t suppose I can talk you into staying here. Stevie could stay with you,” I finally said after a brief second of panicked silence.
He shook his head. “No. She needs to stay with you until I am secure with how to handle any allergic reactions or choking. We’ll go together.”
This time, his words hadn’t been spoken as a demand. They weren’t harsh. Instead, there had been a flickering of unease. Was he scared to keep her? I watched him carefully. Taking in the moment of weakness I’d never thought I would see on this man. All over Stevie. He didn’t want anything to happen to her. Already, he cared about her safety. An odd feeling settled in my chest. One I couldn’t yet define.