Twenty-Five
Branwen
Two days to sit and scold myself for taking off my pants for Linc was nothing compared to seeing him walk out to the pool, wearing nothing but a black pair of swim trunks. The colorful ink that covered his body was one thing, but the canvas that held it was another. It was as if a sculptor had chiseled every inch to perfection, then breathed life into him.
When was he going to start looking his age? Make it an even playing field for other men.
“Hey! My dad is hewah!” Stevie called out from the top of the slide. She pointed at him and then clapped her hands. “And he’s got on a swimming suit to swim with me.”
Yes, Vivi Lu, Mommy noticed. You’re alive because Momma always notices the man. It’s her biggest weakness.
She waved her hand excitedly at Linc. “You was gone!” she said. “But you came back!”
Linc’s grin was more than I could deal with. I decided to stop looking at him.
“I have to leave for work sometimes, but I will always come back,” he told her.
I wondered how many people he’d killed or what illegal activity he’d participated in.
“That’s what Mommy said!”
Not exactly. I hadn’t said always .
His body cast a shadow over me. A warm towel hit the side of my leg as he dropped it onto the seat.
“You want to go swimming with us, Ringlets?” he asked.
Ugh. That freaking name.
“I’m fine,” I replied, not looking up at him. I didn’t correct him about the name because the bigger deal I made out of it, the more he would do it.
“Did you not look in the mirror?” He drawled the question with his southern accent coming out thick. “You are a hell of a higher level than fine.”
Okay. He was using pickup lines on me? Seriously?
I finally glared up at him through my sunglasses. “Don’t do that,” I snapped.
His gaze was on my legs before moving up to my face. “What don’t you want me to do, Ringlets?”
I waved a hand at him. “This. Flirt, or whatever you’re doing,” I paused and saw that Stevie was playing under the waterfall, not paying attention to us. “What we did was a brief lapse in judgment. We aren’t doing it again. I’m engaged.”
And oddly, the guilt I should feel about that was not one of the things I had been dealing with. I had to end things with Hudson. Break it off. It hadn’t even been a week, and I had spread my legs for Linc.
He reached down and took a strand of my hair and twirled the loose curl around his finger. “I saw you first.”
I blew out a breath of frustration, more at myself than at him because this was getting to me.
“What are we, ten?” I asked sarcastically.
He let out a deep chuckle as my hair fell free from his hand. “You keep acting like you haven’t had your hand between your legs, thinking about the other night,” he replied.
He walked over to the edge of the pool near Stevie, and I watched him do it. Because it was hard not to. His narrow waist and golden skin. Even the scars that hadn’t been covered by the tattoos were sexy. They were proof of how dangerous he was, and God help me, I wanted to lick them.
Groaning, I laid my head back and closed my eyes. I was a bad person.
“Watch this!” Stevie called out when she saw Linc approaching.
I listened but was afraid to look. Seeing him playing with her in the pool was another demon I wouldn’t be able to fight. It would gnaw at me and get under my skin. Then, I’d end up having sex with Linc again.
Tonight, I was breaking things off with Hudson. I could not let him think that we had a future.
For starters, I was lusting over another man—one I would never have, but who would always be in my life because of our daughter. Another thing was, seeing Linc with Stevie, I’d realized that Hudson wasn’t going to be a good stepdad. Sure, he’d invited her on dates, but comparing him to Linc made me see that Hudson had ignored her for the most part. Her constant talking would get on his nerves. Linc hung on every word she said.
Why hadn’t I noticed the ways Hudson was not a good fit? I’d had an excellent father. I knew what a good one was.
I’d wanted him to be a good fit. He loved me, and that’d made me feel secure.
Again, I had been selfish. When had I become that person? I didn’t used to be selfish.
“Don’t get hewah wet. She will be mad,” I heard Stevie whisper.
Keeping my eyes closed, I continued to listen. I was pretty sure I had dozed off to the sounds of them in the water. But they were close to me now.
“I think she’s asleep.” Linc’s deep voice was definitely right next to my ear. Goose bumps covered my skin, even with the warmth from the sun. “Ringlets, I think you might be playing possum,” he whispered so close to me that his cigar-and-mint breath heated my skin.
When what felt like his knuckles ran down my arm, causing goosebumps, I gave up and opened my eyes. “I’m awake now,” I said, trying not to sound angry for Stevie’s sake.
Linc chuckled, and then he stood back up.
“Mommy!” Stevie said with excitement dripping in her tone. “Tomawah, we awah going to get me a puppy!”
My gaze went from her to Linc. “We are?” I asked, not sure that was a good thing.
She’d get attached, and when we moved out in a year, would the dog stay here? Why hadn’t we discussed it first? I had told Linc about her getting one when I married Hudson, but that had been a different situation.
“I’ve got a friend who just bought a goldendoodle puppy from a couple who breeds them in Jackson. I was going to take her to pick one out,” he explained, wrapping a towel around his shoulders.
I loved goldendoodles, and because I was going to push Stevie in that direction, I knew that they were all sold before they were even born. Especially if it was a trusted breeder.
“Linc, those dogs sell fast. As in as soon as the mother is pregnant with them. They aren’t going to have any left.”
I wished he hadn’t told her this before assuming because of who he was that he’d get to just go pick one out.
He ran the end of the towel over his damp face, smirking. “They kept two of them because they were their favorites. I convinced them to sell me one.” He glanced at Stevie. “That is, if she makes a connection with one of them.”
I should have guessed he’d covered all his bases.
Stevie was bouncing and smiling so big that her dimples were at their deepest. “Let’s think of a name, Mommy!”
If there was a word more descriptive than smug, then it would fit Linc’s expression perfectly.
“You can make a list of names, but until you see the puppy and see its personality, I don’t think it’s fair to label it with a name yet.”
Stevie’s eyes widened. “Like me. ’Cause you didn’t name me until you held me. Wight?”
Talking about this—holding her for the first time and naming her—around Linc made me uncomfortable.
It was the most wonderful day of my life, and yet I had never felt more alone. No parents were anxious to rush in and see me and the baby. I had no one in the room with me who loved me, holding my hand and telling me I was doing great. When tears fell as I gazed down at my baby girl for the first time, I had no one there waiting to hold and adore her next.
Maybe that was the moment I changed. I got selfish. Because I never felt the same again. The woman who had walked into the hospital after driving herself there at midnight with contractions four minutes apart and seven centimeters dilated was not the same one who left with a baby wrapped in a pink blanket.
But I had chosen that.
I had thought it was the best for Stevie.
So, no. I’d been selfish before. Because Linc would have been there. He might not have loved me the way I wanted, but he’d have loved her. I had stolen it from him. The most precious moments in my life—he could have shared them with me. Held her close and whispered that he’d always protect her. The things I had wanted for her so badly.
Blaming him because he was a womanizer wasn’t fair. He was still her dad.
I nodded. “Right,” I replied as a lump formed in my throat. I couldn’t say more.