Fifty
Branwen
This would be the third night I didn’t get enough sleep, it seemed. I kept tossing and turning, my brain refusing to shut off. If I wasn’t thinking about how Linc had sat beside me at breakfast, engaged in conversation with me, made me laugh, then I was thinking about him reaching down to hold my hand today when he’d taken Stevie and me to go see a colt he was looking at buying to keep at his stables here. I was struck speechless and let him hold it while in shock. By the time I’d snapped out of it, yanking my hand away would have caused a scene, so I’d…endured it.
“God,” I muttered. “You’re so full of shit.”
Nothing would have made me take my hand out of his.
It had been all too good to be true, which meant that it was going to crash down around me in the light of day. I’d wake up, and—poof—the other personality that Linc had would be back, and he’d ignore me. Or worse, he’d be cordial to me and treat me like someone he had to speak to, but didn’t want to.
Rubbing my face with both hands, I groaned, then dropped them to my sides and stared at the ceiling. Linc Shephard would be the death of me.
It should say on my tombstone, Died because she loved a man who shouldn’t be loved.
The click of my lock caught my attention, and my eyes dropped to the door as it opened. The tall, dark shadow that entered didn’t frighten me, but it should have. Because I knew he was more dangerous than anything else when it came to my well-being.
My eyes followed him as he walked silently over to the other side of the bed. The moonlight coming through the window illuminated him. He had something in his hand that he laid on the nightstand. It was papers.
I then watched as he pulled the shirt over his head and dropped it. His ribs wrapped up didn’t even take away from his perfection. When he began to take off his jeans, I started scolding myself for letting him get this far, but said nothing. I tensed up, as if preparing for a battle, while he slid beneath the covers, then moved his body over to mine until the heat of it sent shivers through me. I tried to put up walls. Forge a backbone or willpower. Something to protect myself from him.
“What are you doing?” I hissed between my teeth as his arm wrapped around me, tucking me against his chest.
“Holding you.”
I…that…was not what I’d expected.
“Linc, what are you doing? And I don’t mean just right now.”
He reached up to brush hair away from my face and pressed a kiss near my ear. “Holding you. Enjoying you. Letting myself have what I’ve wanted since you came storming back into my life, waving divorce papers in my face,” he whispered huskily, then ran his nose along the curve of my earlobe.
I closed my eyes and tried to calm my racing heart. “I don’t understand,” I breathed. “And stop doing that. I watched you shoving your cock down another woman’s throat.”
“Mmm,” he hummed. “I was drunk. Trying to get some relief from the constant ache to be inside you. I was imagining you in my head. Pretending that it was your mouth taking me deep. Then, I opened my eyes to see you standing there.” His voice dropped. “Your hair mussed, messy blonde curls draped over your bare shoulders, with only small scraps of satin touching your skin. I could see your hard nipples. Then, I looked at your face and unloaded.”
His hand slid over my stomach, and a pleased rumble came from his chest. “I shouldn’t have brought her here. It was one of my many mistakes.” He nuzzled my neck. “Forgive me.”
There wasn’t a nerve in my body that wasn’t buzzing.
Grasping at any ounce of sanity I could muster, I blurted, “The STD test results. I can’t…” I couldn’t what? Let him touch me because I would spread my legs and let him take me without a condom again?
His arm left me, and his body rolled away. I almost cried out and reached for him to come back. But he didn’t sit up. He reached for the papers he’d brought in and handed them to me.
Taking them, I moved to sit up and leaned toward the light from the window.
It was the STD results, but they weren’t mine. They were his.
I glanced up at him. “These are yours.”
He nodded and took it away to show the sheet below it. My name was at the top. I let my eyes scan over it, knowing it must all be fine or he wouldn’t have brought them to my bed.
He put his in front of me again. “I’m clean.”
“I see. I didn’t ask for yours.”
His fingers moved a lock of hair off my shoulder, and then he took it and began to twirl it around his finger. “Yours is the only cunt I’ve ever considered sinking into bare, Ringlets,” he told me. “And I want you to feel safe when I do it again.”
I sucked in a breath. “Again?” I asked, shifting back from him. “I didn’t agree to that. Or sex at all.”
A slow smirk touched his lips, but his eyes darkened as he held my gaze. “Are you going to punish me? What about if I just kiss it? You spread your legs for me, and I’ll make you feel so good.” The tips of his fingers ran over my collarbone, then down to my chest before circling one of my nipples poking against the camisole I was wearing. “I can suck on these too,” he added.
I fought back the urge to pant and beg him. Wanting all of that.
“So I can be treated like I don’t exist tomorrow?” I asked. “No thanks. I-I can’t do that again. It hurts, Linc. I don’t deserve it. You don’t treat Jayda that way.” Saying this to him helped remind me why I had to get him out of my bed.
He paused, and I looked at him, my chin held high. I would not be embarrassed by admitting this to him. It was true. He was hurting me, and I was no longer going to just take it.
“I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry. That’s over. I can’t push you away anymore. I need you, Ringlets. In my life. In my bed. Just you.”
Just me? I fought off the wave of joy because that wasn’t possible. This was Linc.
“Don’t promise things you can’t do,” I said.
His words were already painful, and he hadn’t broken them yet.
He tilted his head and cupped the side of my face. His thumb ran over my lower lip, and his hooded eyes went from my mouth to meet my gaze. “No one else compares, and trust me, I’ve tried. The woman was sucking my cock because I couldn’t bring myself to fuck anyone else. I’d been trying, and it wouldn’t work. With her on her knees and her scent away from my nose, I could imagine it was you. Think about you. It was the only way I could get there. Just you. It’s just you.”
I let out a ragged breath. Wanting this to be real. Terrified it wasn’t.
“You’ll change your mind. The other women won’t disappear. You’ll get bored with me. Jayda is here every day, and I like her, which just causes me more pain.”
He grinned as he moved in close, and his lips touched mine. “Are you jealous of Jayda?” he asked, his husky voice sounding amused.
If his hand wasn’t currently between my thighs and his breath wasn’t mingling with mine, I might be able to slap him.
“Yes,” I whispered, hating it.
“Ringlets”—he trailed kisses along my jawline as his fingers slid over the crotch of my panties—“I’ve never fucked, Jayda.”
The laugh of disbelief was mixed with a moan as his finger ran along the slickness he’d caused. “I’ve seen you with her,” I panted as my fingers fisted the sheets.
“Mmhmm. She’s my employee, my friend even. But that’s it,” he replied as he sank a finger inside me.
“AH!” I cried, rocking against it.
“If anyone needs to be jealous, it’s me. Because while I’ve never touched Jayda, I know she’s thought about how sweet this pussy is and imagined tasting what is mine.”
I stilled, and a deep chuckle came from him as his mouth moved back to hover over mine.
“Good thing Jayda is faithful to her girlfriend,” he murmured, then took my mouth and thrust his tongue inside as his finger worked in and out of me.
I moaned into his mouth as I sank against him. I gave up. I had no way to keep myself from allowing him to take what he wanted. I’d handed him my childish heart, and he’d broken my adult one. Now, here I was, letting him consume what was left of my soul.
“Fuck, get this off,” he swore, reaching for my top and pulling it over my head.
Then, he moved to my bottoms, and I saw him wince when he put pressure on his side. I’d forgotten about his ribs.
“You’re hurt,” I reminded him.
“My rib will be forgotten the moment my cock is deep inside your tight cunt,” he said, throwing my shorts and panties to the floor. “Lie back and spread your legs for me.”
I shook my head. As much as I wanted his mouth on me, I didn’t want him in that position. It would hurt him more than he was already hurting.
“You lie on your back,” I told him, moving back and onto my knees.
His eyes followed me as if he was mesmerized. If only he would stay that way. Truly mean what he was saying.
“Okay,” he finally agreed and eased down onto his back slowly.
I crawled over between his legs and smiled at him.
“What is it you wa—uh—oh fuuuck.” He groaned as my mouth slid down over his tip, and I let it go as far back as it could, which wasn’t that far. His hands fisted in my hair. “Fucking hell, Ringlets, that sweet mouth feels amazing.”
I wasn’t sucking him nearly as deep as the other woman had been, and I hated to think that his imagination of me was better than reality. Swallowing, I focused on relaxing my throat and letting it open so I could slide him farther in.
“Shit,” he hissed as his hands tightened on my hair. “That’s it…take more of it.”
My eyes watered as I forced another inch down. Knowing that was about as deep as I could go, I began to suck and move my lips up and down. His hips bucked.
“God, baby,” he panted. “Seeing your head down there is going to make me come. Let me see your eyes.”
Keeping him deep, I lifted them to look up at him.
“My beautiful girl with my cock down her throat. You gonna swallow it?”
I nodded, running my tongue along the shaft as I worked my way up, then down, pushing to try and go deeper.
“Fuuuck.” His hands pulled at my hair.
I watched as his mouth opened and his eyes glazed over.
“I’m—GAH!”
His body jerked as his salty, thick release began to pump into my mouth. I swallowed quickly, wanting to take it all.
“Holy fuck.” The tight grip he had on my hair eased. “Come here.”
I let him pop free of my mouth and looked up at him.
He cupped my face. “Here. Now.”
Smiling, I sat back on my knees and climbed back over his leg to move up beside him, not wanting to touch his wrapped ribs. He pulled me to him anyway and buried his face in my hair.
“That was by far the best blow job of my life.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “No, it wasn’t. I couldn’t take all if it.”
He slipped a finger under my chin and tilted my head back so I had no choice but to look at him.
“Having your eyes looking up at me, seeing your mouth wrapped around my dick, and burying my fingers in your hair, not having to close my eyes and just imagine it…yeah, Ringlets. You could have just sucked the head, and it would have been the best.”
His eyes said things that my heart was too afraid to believe. But, God, how I wanted it. I wanted him.
Being Linc Shephard’s, loving him, having his heart—it was all I’d ever wanted.