12. No frame of reference #2
His hand went to the back of his neck, and those flags of colour appeared on his cheekbones again.
“Well, you seem a bit thrown by it, and not in a good way.”
“Not in a good way?” I repeated.
“Yes. Look, sorry, it’s okay if you don’t like my house. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.”
I frowned. “You think I don’t like your house?”
“Vicky, I know the type of posh places you’re used to, and this?—”
“This is the most beautiful building I have ever seen in my entire life,” I told him the absolute truth.
His hand came down from his neck, and he stared at me with a new intensity. Both his fists bunched by his sides then unclenched as he took a step towards me.
I was proud of myself that after everything I’d been through that night, I held my ground.
When he was only inches away from me, his hand came up towards my face but stopped a hair’s breadth away.
“Baby,” he said in a low, growly voice. “I really really want to kiss you. Can I do that?”
“Yes, um… please,” I managed to choke out.
“I’ll be touching your face as well, if that’s okay?”
“Y-yes, face touching is acceptable.”
The corners of his lips turned up in a small smile before his hand made contact with my jaw and cheek.
I could feel the rough callouses on his fingers as he slid his hands from my cheeks, up and into my hair. I had to tip my head right back to look at his brown eyes, which were searching my face.
“You are so fucking gorgeous,” he whispered, his lips almost touching mine, and my mind blanked.
The magnetic pull of this man was simply too much to take. So instead of waiting for him to close the distance between us, I pushed up onto my tiptoes as both of my hands went to the sides of his face, and my lips sealed over his.
He gave a startled grunt of surprise, and for a horrified moment, I thought I may have made a huge mistake. What was I doing, initiating a kiss like that? I had no experience of kissing protocol. What on earth did I do now?
But just as I was about to stiffen and pull away, Mike’s other arm came up and around me, pulling my body into his, and he kissed me back.
At first, I felt awkward—worried he’d be able to tell that I’d never kissed anyone before. But as my body melted into his, surrounded by his strength and immense warmth, his woodsy, clean, manly smell invading my senses, I forgot to be awkward.
I forgot my own name.
So when his mouth opened over mine, my body took over, and I did the same.
I moved one of my hands into his thick hair, the other to the muscles of his chest, as I pushed up against him.
I couldn’t get close enough. It was like a fire had been lit inside me. I almost felt like I was going to pass out with need. I could hear small, desperate moans, and after a moment, I realised they were coming from me.
Then Mike lifted me up effortlessly as he walked backwards, still kissing me before placing me on the wooden kitchen countertop and moving so he was standing between my legs.
Without the height difference, he didn’t have to bend down so far, and our bodies could be even closer.
One of my hands went down to the hem of his shirt then up to the warm skin over the firm muscles of his back.
He groaned into my mouth, and I’d never felt so powerful in my life.
All I wanted in that moment was him. All the other turmoil in my mind was silenced, which was extremely rare for me. But all I could feel was him; all I could focus on was him.
It was the most peace I’d experienced in years, and I needed more.
I needed him closer.
I pulled on his hair and slid my hand further up the back of his shirt, trying to get to as much of his heated skin as possible. I felt like I was burning up from the inside. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything before.
I started moving against him, more small moans still coming from the back of my throat.
He growled against my mouth, and then suddenly, his heat was gone.
When I opened my eyes, he was standing just out of reach, breathing heavily and pushing his hands through his hair, making the dark strands stand up at all angles.
I frowned.
“Why did you stop?” I asked when I could catch my breath.
“You’ve had a shock tonight,” he bit out. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides again. “I’m taking advantage of you.”
“You’re not taking advantage of me at all,” I said in confusion. “Is this because I’m not very competent?”
“What?” he asked in confusion.
I sighed. “The logistics of kissing,” I said, then shrugged. “I’m not at all familiar with the standards logistics. I’m afraid I’ve no frame of reference.”
“The logistics of kissing?” His lips tipped up in small smile for a moment before his eyes went wide. “Wait a minute. What do you mean by ‘no frame of reference’?”
“I don’t have any data to refer to as far as kissing goes.”
Surely this had all been obvious to him?
“You’ve never…” Mike shook his head slowly. “I’m sorry, but are you saying you’ve never been kissed? Vicky, I… how is that even possible? You’re beautiful.”
“I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone before. In fact, the very idea of kissing any other human makes me feel physically ill.”
My cheeks started heating as my embarrassment increased.
“Until I met you that is. Kissing you does not make me feel physically ill.”
I thought I should clarify this point as I didn’t want Mike to be deterred from further kissing activities should further opportunities arise.
“Kissing you makes me feel like I’m…” I needed to find the words to describe the feeling.
I wanted to be accurate. “Like I’m burning from the inside out.
Like I’m finally breathing after years of feeling suffocated.
Like I’m in pain but a good pain. Kissing you silences the noise in my head and that’s never happened before, not to me. ”
Mike was staring at me, the intense brown of his eyes lighting with golden flecks and burning into mine. His jaw was clenched. His body vibrating with energy, like every muscle was pulled tight.
“Um…” I started, not quite understanding what was happening, “Mike? Are you okay?”
“No, Vicky.” His voice was hoarse as his fists bunched by his sides. “I’m not okay.”
“Oh, why?”
“Because I’ve just found out that I’m your first kiss and?—”
“If it’s a problem, that’s quite alright.” His eyebrows went up. “I would understand it being a bit off-putting, so?—”
“Off-putting?” Mike said in a strangled voice.
“Yes, well. I supposed the other girls you kiss are all much more proficient and?—”
“Vicky.” His voice was still hoarse. “That was the best kiss I’ve ever had, bar none, experienced or otherwise.
And I realise this makes me a goddamn caveman, but I’m fucking thrilled you’ve not kissed any other bastard before.
And after that description you gave me, I’m using all of my self-control not to pick you up off that counter, carry you up to my bed, and make you mine in every other way there is. ”
I smiled at him. “Oh, that sounds great. Let’s do that.”
He groaned. “Baby, please. I’m hanging on by a thread here.
” He tore his hand through his hair again.
“I am not going to take advantage of you after what happened tonight. I’m enough of a bastard already to have kissed you like that.
If I take it further, I won’t have to wait for your brother to punch me in the face—I’ll do it myself. ”