23. Are you Vicky’s carer? #2
I felt my face heat and ducked my head so that I was speaking at the grass at my feet. “It’s fine, Mike. My family, they… you’ve got to understand, they’ve had to put up with me since I was a child. And I was a very difficult child. I still really annoy them, so it’s hard for them to be?—”
“What in the fuck are you talking about?” Mike ground out.
Oh dear, my explanation did not seem to be calming him down at all.
“Difficult child? Is that their excuse for treating you like shit?”
“Mike, honestly, I was hard. I used to have a lot of meltdowns. Until I was about six, I could be really loud if something set me off. It was extremely embarrassing for Mum. That issue resolved of course with the mutism, because then, my meltdowns were mostly silent. But the not speaking was considered aberrant also. It annoyed Mum a lot. And she didn’t believe in having me assessed, so?—”
“Hold on,” Mike cut me off. “You had regular meltdowns for years , then you were mute, again for years , and your mother never had you assessed?”
I shrugged. “The school tried, but Mum blocked it. She doesn’t really believe in labels. And she thought if they pandered to it, that would make me worse.”
“What about your dad?”
“Oh well, I didn’t really see much of him. Margot was the one at Buckingham Manor. As you must know, my father rarely visited.”
“So, he told his estranged wife to look after his mistress’s child and just buggered off?”
“Well, there wasn’t another option, really. Mum couldn’t cope with me for the whole summer, and Dad just sort of dumped me at the Manor. Margot wasn’t very happy at first, but after a while, she just got on with it—you know what she’s like. Ollie was brilliant, though; he accepted me immediately.”
“And Claire?”
“Claire’s seven years older than me. I was only there for a couple of weeks for few summers at the same time as her, and she mostly ignored me.
Then she had Florrie quite young with no support from Florrie’s father.
Things were a little better between us then.
Florrie has always been quite attached to me and I like her direct nature very much.
But after Claire married Blake things deteriorated again. I hate Blake.”
“Well, we all hate Blake.”
I shook my head. “No, I always hated Blake. And I’m not good at lying. So, Claire had a few reasons why she didn’t like me. Firstly, she loved her father and saw me as the one who pushed him away from her mother, and secondly, she could tell I hated her husband. It’s fine.”
What I didn’t say is how very heartbroken I’d been when Claire had rejected me. How much I’d longed for a sister who didn’t hate me. How Claire’s disdain for me only solidified the knowledge that I was unlovable.
Mike’s jaw clenched. A waiter handed him a pint of beer, and he took a long sip before focusing back on me.
“But Ollie was never a dick to you, right?”
I shook my head. “Ollie is naturally very protective. He feels obligated to me, and he’s not the type of man to shirk his obligations.”
“You think you’re just an obligation to Ollie?”
I nodded. “Of course. And Margot felt sorry for me, so eventually, I became an obligation to her, too.”
“They love you, Vicky,” he said softly, and my chest tightened as I gave him another non-committal hum. “Your fucking family have a lot to answer for.”
I sighed. “I don’t think I’ve explained it right. You’ve got to understand how?—”
“If you say anything else about being a difficult child or annoying, I’m gonna lose it.”
I did not think this was an ideal environment for Mike to lose it , so I pressed my lips together to stop myself from saying anything more.
It wasn’t long until the drinks reception was over, and we were seated at our table, a safe distance from my family. I was next to my uncle, who also spoke to me like I was mentally deficient, but it was better than open hostility.
Unfortunately, Mike had Fiona on his other side, who kept pawing at him. Fiona was very obviously drunk by the time the main course was served and seemed oblivious to Mike’s growing annoyance.
“How much did she pay you?” I heard her slur in his ear. She probably thought she was whispering, but she may as well have shouted her question across the whole table.
Mike, who’d been valiantly trying to eat his meal up until that point, lowered his fork slowly down to his plate.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked.
Fiona giggled. “Vicky. How much is she paying you to be here? Come on, you’re like something out of a catalogue. Did she mail order you?”
“I’m Vicky’s boyfriend, and no, she did not mail order me.”
Fiona snorted. “That freak has a boyfriend like you? You must be joking. Is this some sort of community outreach programme or something?”
“Oh, is that it?” asked my aunt in a curious voice from across the table, clearly having caught the tail end of the conversation. “Are you Vicky’s carer?”
I felt my face flame, and I simply couldn’t take anymore. “I’ll be back in a minute,” I whispered into Mike’s ear before darting off in the direction of the toilets. At least, I’d hoped it was the direction of the toilets.
The reception was in a stately home, and I seemed to have taken a wrong turn down a portrait-lined corridor. But when I spun around to retrace my steps, my heart sank.
Darrell was blocking the corridor and my exit, and he was smiling that shark’s smile, which showed all his teeth.
“Where are you off to, little sis?” he asked, taking a step towards me.
I took a corresponding one back as my heart began to pound.