Epilogue
An overbearing, interfering pain in the arse?
Vicky
“Did I do something incorrect?” I asked Lottie as I stared at the typed letter she’d just handed me.
“Of course not, hun,” she said gently. “It’s just time for me to move on. You know I’ve completed my psychology degree now, and the next step whilst I train to work with children is going to take up far more of my time.”
I frowned. “I will double your income. Effective immediately.”
Lottie laughed. Clearly, she was not in tune with the grave seriousness of this situation. “Vics, babe, you’ve already doubled my income over the last two years. It’s not about the money.”
I shook my head in denial. “Well, I need you, so you simply cannot leave. I will not accept it.”
“You were fine when I was on maternity leave.”
“That was different. I knew it was a temporary arrangement.”
Lottie sighed. “Vics, you want me to be happy, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. You’re happy working for me.”
“I love working for you, hun. But I want to work with children. Help them overcome trauma, in the same way those counsellors helped Hayley. It’s my calling.”
“ I need your help,” I grumbled.
“Victoria Mayweather,” Lottie said sharply, and I looked up from the letter to make eye contact with her. Lottie rarely used a sharp tone with me as she was well aware that I was sensitive to it, and she knew I disliked the formality of my full name. “You do not need me.”
My eyebrows went up. “That is a lie, and I am extremely disappointed that you would attempt to deceive me.”
Lottie tilted her head to the side. “Why do you think you need me?”
I frowned at her. “To stop me going into hyperfocus mode, to stop me insulting people, to read the room for me, to help me discern if people are lying.”
“Okay, okay, the lying thing I get. That is my superpower. And Felix needs me as much as you do in that regard. I’ve promised that I’ll sit in on the occasional meeting where necessary, as being able to read the room does give you guys an advantage in business.
But as for me stopping Vicky from being Vicky, quite frankly, that’s bullshit. ”
“You swore.”
Lottie smiled at me. “I’m aware.”
“You never swear.”
“Well, about this, I bloody well will.” Her voice was fierce now.
“I don’t agree with the idea that you need to tone yourself down to suit other people all the time.
Your directness can give you a huge advantage, and if people can’t accept you for who you are then why would you want to do business with them anyway? ”
I opened my mouth to reply then realised I didn’t actually have a logical reply to what Lottie had said. That was extremely irritating. However, despite my irritation her words did spark a small kernel of warmth in my chest.
“You don’t think I need…” I trailed off, not sure what I was asking. “You think it’s okay if I’m just… me.”
“Vics, can I give you a side hug?” Lottie asked.
I nodded, and she moved to where I was sitting on the chair, put her arm around me and gave me a tight squeeze with firm, consistent pressure, exactly the way I preferred.
“You should always be you, hun. You’re enough all by yourself.
I’m sorry if people have made you feel like you weren’t. Me included”
I cleared my throat after Lottie moved away, willing the stinging in my eyes to subside.
This was an office environment, after all, and not the appropriate place for emotional interactions.
So I sniffed and blinked a few times. When I was sure that everything was back under my control, I spoke again.
“I will miss you,” I blurted out. “You know I don’t like change. You not being in the office is unacceptable.”
Lottie smiled at me. “I’ll miss you too, love. But we’ll be seeing each other on the reg, won’t we? Are you forgetting the fact that I’m married to your brother? Or that we both mostly live in the same village? You’ll see me all the time.”
“I’ll see you less, and that is still an unacceptable change.”
“Now Vics, remember how you want me to be happy?”
“Of course.”
“Well, working with kids will make me happy.”
Ugh. Other people’s autonomy was such a bother. But yes, of course I wanted Lottie to be happy. I cared very much for Lottie and her happiness. I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I’m still not convinced that being me is in the company’s best interests. It’s far better if––”
“What the chuffing heck are you on about now?” Mike’s deep voice cut me off, and I sprang out of my chair.
Well, I would have sprung out of my chair if it wasn’t for the huge Mike-sized baby that he’d impregnated me with.
So, instead of any springing, it was more of a slow clamber where I had to use the desk and the arm of the chair for leverage.
By the time I’d made it up, Mike had walked into my office so I didn’t have to waddle far to get to him.
When I did, I laid both my hands on his chest as his arms came around me, bump and all, and I went up on tiptoes to kiss him.
This was still the Standard Mike Greeting, even now that we were married and I was pregnant with his daughter.
I had asked him if he wanted to revise this policy a few months ago, after it invoked a substantial amount of teasing from his friends at The Badger’s Sett.
This turned out to be an ill-advised query as it made Mike extremely cross.
He told his friends to “bugger off” and said that he’d “kiss my missus whenever I bloody well like” and that “you bastards shouldn’t make her feel uncomfortable,” which I felt was extremely rude but which they seemed to take with very little animosity if their smiles and profuse apologies to me were anything to go by.
“Hi,” I said as I smiled up at him. Sometimes smiling at Mike could distract him successfully. I had learnt to use this to my advantage. His arms gave me a squeeze, and he frowned down at me. Clearly, this time, my technique was not working.
“Why are you asking if it’s okay to be you? Did somebody say something?”
“Stand down, big guy,” Lottie said through a laugh. “Nobody’s said a word to Vics.” Her voice softened before she spoke again, “We’ve just been talking about my resignation, and Vics isn’t overly on board.”
“Ah, I see,” said Mike. I laid my head on Mike’s chest so that I could feel his deep voice rumble there. It was one of the best ways I knew of to feel calmer if something upset me. “And you think you need Lottie here, love?”
I shrugged. “Lottie is being illogical.”
“How so, sweetheart?”
“She says I don’t need her to help me alter my behaviour. Apparently, I should just be me.”
“Why is that illogical? I happen to love you.”
I very reluctantly lifted my head from his chest to frown up at him. “You, Mike Mayweather, are an exception to the rule. Only last week I insulted a group of contractors enough for them to storm out of the office.”
“Oh yeah,” Felix said from my doorway. “You should have seen it, man. It was beautiful.”
“It was not beautiful, Felix,” I told him. “It could very well impact the development’s progress and––”
“Honestly, Vics,” Felix cut in. “It’s best we find out they’re dickheads early on rather than a few weeks down the line when they’re a nightmare to replace.
All you did was ask them a few questions.
It’s not your fault that you apparently know more about structural engineering than they do.
That’s a red flag right there anyway. If they were worth their salt, they could have held their own with you. ”
I pulled away from Mike to an office-appropriate distance. Office-appropriate didn’t last very long though, as he immediately put his arm around me and tucked me into his side.
“Well, if you’re happy with me going around being all… unfiltered Vicky, then look forward to a lot more disgruntled clients and contractors.”
Felix sighed. “Vics, don’t you think it’s better for you to be a little less filtered?” he said softly, and I blinked at him. “So what if we lose clients? Like I said – who wants to work with them anyway?”
“Hiding who you are every minute of the day isn’t good for you, love,” Mike rumbled next to me and pulled me tighter into his side.
“Oh,” I said in a small voice, my eyes stinging again. I’d been told too many times to hide who I was. It was going to take some significant adjustment to change this mindset now.
“I want you to be full-power, unfiltered Vicky here,” Felix said decisively, and the stinging got worse as my throat closed over.
His expression softened as a tear slipped down my cheek.
“Can I give you a hug?” Felix asked and I nodded.
“Er… Mike, mate, you’re gonna have to actually let her go a sec. I don’t want to hug your hairy arse.”
“Fine,” Mike grumbled, letting his arm drop so that Felix could give me a very brief, tight hug. Mike pulled me back into his side.
“I apologise for this totally unprofessional display of emotion in the workplace,” I said stiffly.
“The twins brought a piglet into this office yesterday, Vics,” Felix said in a dry tone. “As far as professionalism goes, I think you’re good.”
“Yes, that was…unusual for a Thursday morning.”
Felix shrugged. “Bea’s into pigs at the moment and Lucy thought a piglet would cheer everyone up.”
“It was entertaining,” Lottie put in. “We could have done without the squealing though.”
“And that was just from Felix,” Tabitha said as she came up next to Felix and patted his arm.
I smiled. The piglet had been entertaining, if not totally conducive to a professional environment. A wave of tiredness swept over me then as I leaned more heavily into Mike and stifled a yawn.
“Right, I’m taking my wife out of this madhouse,” Mike said. “She’s dead on her feet.”
“It’s only three in the afternoon, Mike.”
“And you’re thirty weeks pregnant, sweetheart,” Mike said.
“ And you fell asleep sitting up in the conference room earlier,” Lottie said helpfully.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You rang him, didn’t you?”
She bit her lip. “Maybe?”