29. Holly
29
HOLLY
I was a walking zombie the next morning, but it wasn’t like I could call off work. I was the owner, and since I’d taken off a week when I’d been carjacked, I wasn’t about to leave Noelle in the lurch again. So, I pulled up my big girl panties and went to work. I could do this. I could function and behave like a normal person. It wasn’t like I’d lost Asher. He was still alive and well. He just wasn’t the person I thought he was.
I stomped up the steps to my shop, not surprised at all when I saw Noelle already waiting in the chair outside. “Just for once, I wish you would go inside instead of waiting outside for me.”
“What fun would that be?” She stood and handed me my cocoa.
I took it gratefully and unlocked the door, shoving it open. “Thank you. I needed this. I took a large gulp, then nearly spit it out. “What the hell is this?”
“Cocoa with a bit of fun.”
I set it on the counter and marched back to the kitchen for a bottle of water. I couldn’t be drunk at eight in the morning. Noelle’s version of fun and mine were completely different.
“Drinking on the job is not acceptable.”
“Oh, mine doesn’t have any vodka in it,” she grinned. “I just added some to yours. I figured after the night you had, you would need a little pick me up. So, Asher’s wife is back from the dead. What’s that like?”
I rolled my eyes, not really in the mood to talk about it. “Just peachy.”
“I bet. So, did he get down on his knees last night and beg for your forgiveness? Was there lots of makeup sex? I need details.”
“There was no sex,” I muttered as I headed to the back room with my work bag.
“Why the hell not?” she shouted, running behind me. “The situation definitely called for it. He should have been down on his knees, giving you a little Molly what’s her name.”
I didn’t even want to ask her what that was. She had some weird phrases and I just wasn’t in the mood to decipher them this morning. “Noelle, how about we just focus on work today.”
“Right, so you can forget about the fact that Asher’s still married and you don’t know where you stand.”
I spun around and shot her a nasty look. “Are you trying to poke me?”
“If I was trying to poke you, I would point out that she has beautiful olive skin and gorgeous dark hair.”
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“How is it that she’s still alive?”
“I don’t know. It’s not like Asher called her last night to talk to her.” Although, maybe he did after he left. I really didn’t know.
“So…”
“So, what?” I spun away from her, desperate to put an end to this conversation, but everywhere I turned, she stepped in front of me.
“Holly, you can’t just run away from this. You need to find out what’s going on. You can’t move forward until you have answers.”
“It’s been less than a day,” I pointed out. “Until Asher talks to her, I won’t have answers. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he used to be some kind of crazy bodyguard who took over as an arms dealer and married Jade in some insane deal to work his way into a criminal organization.”
Noelle leaned on the counter, her eyes wide as she practically salivated over the words I spewed. “Shut the front door. He was an arms dealer? That’s totally badass.”
I rubbed my forehead, already fighting a massive headache, which she was making worse. “It was for a job. He was a protection guy or something.”
“Wait, so he was protecting who?”
“I have no idea!” I said, throwing up my hands. “I don’t even understand it all. He’s Asher. Sweet Asher who makes cute Hallmark comments to me. How do I even begin to comprehend the fact that the man I fell in love with is the same man who shoots people and makes million-dollar deals with criminals?”
“It does seem a little far-fetched. But he does have that dangerous look to him,” she said thoughtfully. “I just always assumed it was the mechanic talking.”
“Right? He totally pulled it off with the coveralls and the longer hair. I had no idea that under that onesie was a version of Mad Max.”
“Better Mad Max than the Joker,” she mused.
She may have had a point, but it didn’t mean much when my whole world had just been flipped upside down. I didn’t know where to go from here. What did this mean for us?
“What if he goes back to her?”
“Did he say he wanted to?” Noelle asked.
“No. He said he only loved me, but…but she’s his wife. He loved her. What if once they talk, all those feelings come rushing back?” Tears pricked my eyes again. God, I was so fucking tired. I’d been up all night going over scenarios in my head, and most of the time, I didn’t win.
“What if he talks to her and he says he doesn’t love her anymore? What if he chooses you?”
I snorted. “Yeah.”
“I’m serious, Holly. Why do you think he wouldn’t choose you?” When I didn’t look at her, she stalked around the counter and grabbed me by the arms, shaking me until I finally met her eyes. “What does she have that you don’t?”
“A former legally binding attachment. History. A life that included guns and shooting people and something a hell of a lot more interesting than furniture and…” I waved my hand around the store, thinking how dull my life must seem to him after the life he lived.
“Yeah, he has a history with her, but he has a history with you, too. And maybe he doesn’t want to shoot guns anymore. And what’s wrong with furniture? I happen to love my life. There is nothing wrong with what you do!” she snapped, sparking something inside me. “Your life isn’t any less interesting just because you don’t kill people for a living. You’re happy and you have a full life. Who gives a fuck if danger isn’t lurking around every corner? I’d say you had enough for one lifetime with the carjacker, and based on the way Asher reacted, he did, too. It didn’t look to me like he wished he could go back and live that life again. All he wanted was to protect you so he could grow old with you. Do you know why?”
“Because I can’t protect myself?”
“Well, that, but also because this is the life he chose for himself. You need to believe that if you’re going to hold onto him.”
She was right. Jade was gone for five years. Whatever she was doing during that time, whatever happened, he was mine now, and if I wanted to hold onto him, I had to fight for him. I just needed to make sure first that it was what he truly wanted.
“So, are you done throwing a pity party?” Noelle asked.
“Yeah.”
“Good, because the store opens in a half hour and we have a shit ton to do. And you look like hell.”
“That’s because I didn’t sleep all night.”
“Then go take a nap and I’ll get the store open. You’re going to need some sleep if you’re going to fight off the she-devil today.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Why would you assume I’d have to fight her off?”
“Because she’s the other woman.” She paused and thought it over. “Or you’re the other woman? I’m not sure how it works in this scenario since she was dead. Either way, she’s coming for you, and you need to be ready.”
Great. I was going into battle. I’d never been in a single fight in my life. Unless you counted my recent cocoa war with Noelle, and somehow, I really doubted Jade would be coming at me with peppermint cocoa.