Chapter 17
I rubbed at my heavy eyes and closed all the tabs I had open for stream with a relieved sigh.
All evening, it was “Eva, you okay? You look tired,” or “damn, you’re off your game tonight.” And the most annoying thing was that none of them were wrong. It’d been a few days since Cameo dropped me off at home, and ever since, I’d been on edge.
I’d always felt comfortable in my own home, but ever since my car was broken into, every little thing seemed to set me off.
I was doing my best to remind myself that someone broke into my car in a public space, which was different from my apartment.
But my brain didn’t seem to like the logic of that.
Which meant long nights of not sleeping and leaving every light on.
I’m already horrified thinking about my bill later this month.
There was something else I couldn’t stop thinking about.
Cameo’s offer.
A baby.
The Lombardi Pack's baby.
I could hardly wrap my mind around it.
Maybe I was just hungry. I left my desk and set out to make myself some boxed mac and cheese. Cooking on a normal amount of sleep was hard, so this was going to have to do. I set the water to boil, took out the box, and waited, leaning against the wall in my kitchen.
This was an insane offer, one I probably shouldn't even be considering. Was I supposed to just have their baby and then go on with my life? I wasn't even sure I wanted to have kids, much less one I wasn't planning on keeping.
But if I did this for a year, I could have everything I'd ever wanted. No more spicy streams, and probably a big enough start-up to have a couple of games in production at the same time.
And it's only a year.
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an over-boiling pot.
"Shit," I ran over to it and turned it down before pouring in the noodles.
I pulled out my phone and started searching up surrogacy and ended up down a rabbit hole. I knew next to nothing about pregnancy, except what you learned about in health class. And public education wasn’t really big on reproductive health.
Oh god, I opened ShortVid, which was a mistake. It was omega after omega talking in depth about every experience they had. Weird liquid you had to drink and pray it didn’t make you throw up to check your sugar, labor that went on for days. And even what happened after.
You had to put an icepack where?
But other than the medical stuff, there were lots of videos of happy packs with their new babies. It was so cute it almost made me cry, and I wasn’t normally a cuteness-overwhelm crier.
Bang!
I jumped, my phone slamming to the ground. What was that?
My first instinct was to check it, but I was sure to turn off the stove first, not wanting to also burn my apartment down. I held my phone close to my chest as if it were a shield as I stepped out of my kitchen and into the living area.
No one was there; my space was silent.
I glanced around, trying to see if there was someone in some dark corner ready to jump out at me. But the entire room was lit, and there wasn’t a single dark spot to be seen. And upon further inspection, I realized one of my hanging frames was on the ground face down.
That's what I got for hanging everything up with glue dots, I guess. I picked it up and leaned it against the wall, deciding to put it back up later.
When I got back to the kitchen, I drained the pasta and added the cheese packet, giving the mixture a heavy stir until everything was combined. Once it was in a bowl, I brought it to the living room and turned on a movie. The distraction should calm my nerves a bit.
As I was scooping some undercooked pasta into my mouth, someone outside honked their horn, causing me to throw my spoon and what was left of my bowl.
I examined the mess. Why was I so jumpy? These noises were normal living downtown, but I felt so on edge.
Get it together.
This mac and cheese needed to get cleaned up. I got the bowl into the sink and the blanket I was curled up in bagged up to go to the laundry. Luckily, it was really only on the blanket, so cleanup wasn't too daunting.
I should just go to bed. I would probably feel better after a good night's rest.
After my skincare routine and changing into pajamas, I was feeling refreshed and much more relaxed. I even put on a collagen face mask. When I was done, I snuggled down into my nest and started mindlessly scrolling on my phone, like I always did.
It usually made me feel sleepy, but tonight, it seemed I was wired.
A notification popped up, interrupting the video I was watching about a guy who left his window down and had an owl stuck in his car. I clicked into it.
hey how have you been? Haven’t seen you in a while.
Jason P
I thought about ignoring it. Jason and I were friends, but sometimes he could be a bit… annoying, for lack of a better word. But maybe it could be the distraction I needed for a moment.
I’m good. sorry, been busy.
There was no way I was telling him about today. He just had this way of making it about him. I knew the questions I would get.
Why didn’t you call me? I would have been there for you. Don’t you trust me?
And I had no interest in that conversation.
I’ve been good, my numbers have been really up lately. I caught your stream the other night.
Jason P
I froze. Which stream did he mean? It was no secret that I was on SLCK’d. I wasn’t ashamed of it, but the idea of him watching me there… it sort of freaked me out.
yeah? What did you think?
you played really well. even though you main one of the most nerfed characters in the game, you do well with her.
Jason P
Relief filled me.
she wasn’t nerfed. her skillset just changed a bit. if you’re good, it’s not a big deal.
maybe you’ll have to show me. I know we do game nights on Tuesday, but what about we play a bit of 1v1 this week?
Jason P
I let the message sit for a minute. It had been a while since we hung out, and since he was much better at video games, he was much less of a sore loser.
And he didn’t have that many friends. He hung out with our group, but it was obvious he wasn’t at the core of it, which made me feel bad sometimes.
sure, but when I kick your ass, you have to main Britt for a week.
deal, but it’ll never happen.
Jason P
I sent back a laugh reaction and closed out of the app, needing to try to fall asleep. Even getting back to the flow of mindless videos wasn’t helping.
Every small creak of my apartment shifting or voice outside from someone walking below put me further on edge.
Maybe I needed a glass of water. Water fixed… everything right? It felt like that was what everyone online said.
I unburrowed from my mountain of blankets and scuttled my way back to the kitchen.
The internet was right, a cool glass of water did make me feel more refreshed, at least for a moment.
I padded back towards my bedroom, drink in hand. But, as I turned the corner, a figure looming at the end of the hall made me scream, the cup sliding from my hand and crashing to the floor.
Water and glass was everywhere, liquid seeping into my socks as I turned to flick on the light—and was met with the full body Anator poster, one of the survivors from Kill Floor, that’d been hanging there for months.
I panted softly, standing there in disbelief until the giggling started.
Obviously, I was starting to lose it. The lack of sleep and constant state of paranoia weighed on me more with every day that passed.
Fuck this, I need to call someone.
After very carefully cleaning up my second spill of the night, I got in bed and called Tara.
She picked up on the third ring. "Hey girl."
"Hey," I said. "Where are you?"
In the background, I could hear people talking and lots of shuffling.
"We're in Aruba," she said.
I blinked. "Aruba? I didn't know you were going on a trip."
"I didn't either. Charlie wanted to surprise Jesse for doing so well lately. So when we got home the other night, he gave us the tickets and said we were leaving in the morning."
"That sounds amazing," I said. And it did. Damn, Tara was really living in another universe sometimes.
"So, what’s up?" she asked.
"Uh, my car got broken into the other day."
"What?" she yelled in my ear, making me pull my phone away. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. My car… less so. But Cameo picked me up."
"Cameo?" she asked. The interest in her voice made me suddenly wish I never brought it up. "Like Charlie's business partner? Indi's packmate?"
"That's the only one I know," I said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Hold on," she said. I listened to her mumble as if she was holding the phone away, and then some shuffling. Probably telling Jesse and Charlie she was stepping out. The noise around her dampened when she moved. "Okay, tell me everything."
I sighed. I did need someone to talk to.
Though I meant to hold some of it back, as soon as I started talking about it, I couldn't stop. She listened silently as I told her about messaging the group chat, about Cameo picking me up, and about his baby-making offer.
"He wants you to have their baby?" Tara was basically screaming. Whoever was walking by probably got an earful of that.
"Stop that," I said, needing her to quiet down before my eardrums really did explode. "He brought it up and wanted to talk terms, and I don't know what to do."
"Just so I'm sure I understand, he offered you a blank check if you offer yourself up to get fucked by them whenever they want and have their baby?"
"I guess so, yeah." It sounded simpler when she put it like that.
"Are you going to do it?"
I sighed. "I don't know. It seems crazy."
"It does seem crazy. But, a couple of things.
Cameo is good for the money. I know how much that rich dickbag has; I have his other half.
" I laughed at her describing her alpha like he was a doll she'd bought at the store.
"Also, didn't you say sex with that pack was like, the best thing that's ever happened to you? "
"I don't think I put it like that," I mumbled.
"You did that night I came over for too much wine and pizza."
Had I said that? The only thing I recall from that night was the headache I woke up with the next morning, and Tara slumped over my couch with a piece of pizza still in her hand.
"I’m just saying, do you see a major downside? Yeah, having a baby is hard, but then you'd be set for like, ever. And get to enjoy riding all that dick on the way."
"I didn't need that image in my head," I grumbled.
"You called for advice, I'm just offering it to you."
"I actually called because I'm freaked out," I said. "I was gonna see if I could come over."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not home. You can go there anyway if you want, I'll give you the code."
"No it's okay, I'm just a little rattled." And can't sleep, but I wasn't going to tell her that.
"Why don't you call Indi?"
That caught me off guard. "Indi?"
She hummed. "Ask them to come over."
"I don't know. Things have been a bit weird between us."
"Yeah, but if you're going to have their baby, you're going to have to get used to it, huh?"
I hadn't really considered it. But she was right, they were in the pack, which meant the contract would apply to them too. Would they even want me? Rejection felt well-versed between us, and I couldn't imagine them changing their mind. At the very least, we should get along. And it wasn’t like we hadn’t talked at all.
"I'll think about it."
"Stop being stubborn," she said. "Just call them."
"Fine."
"Good. Now I have to go back, we're going for a night swim, but call me later, yeah?"
"Yeah, thanks, Tara."
"Anytime."
She hung up, and I stared at my call log. Was I really that desperate to call Indi?
Something made a noise, and I startled again, crawling under my blanket like that would protect me at all.
Yeah, I probably should.
I scrolled through my contacts until their name came up. My finger hovered there for longer than I wanted to admit. Eventually, I found the confidence to click the button and hold the phone to my ear.
It rang a bunch, and I was almost relieved for a moment that they wouldn't answer.
"Hey, what's up?" Indi said as they answered.
"Um, hey," I said. "How are you?"
"I'm fine. How are you? How's your car?"
"Trashed. But I'm okay."
"Are you?" they asked.
"What do you mean?"
"That's a pretty scary thing to have happen," they said. "And I can imagine you'd be freaked out."
I took a deep breath. This was what I'd called them for. "Actually, I am a bit freaked out. I told Cameo I'd be fine by myself the other day, but I haven’t been able to sleep. Every little sound has been freaking me out."
Though the words were true, saying them made me feel like a child.
"Do you need company?" they asked.
"Yeah, I think so."
"Okay, give me a sec."
Silence hung between us for a moment. I worried I'd freaked them out with my honesty. It wasn't like it was their job to make me feel better.
"Okay, Joon and I can come get you. Do you mind staying with us at the house tonight?"
They wanted me to come over? For some reason, that felt like a bigger deal, but right now, I didn't care. I just didn't want to be alone.
"That would be great."
"Cool, I'll text you when we're outside, probably twenty minutes or so."
"Sounds good, thank you."
"Don't worry about it, doll. We'll be there soon."
The line cut and I was left in the dark of my room again. But at least there was some hope now. Indi and Joon were on their way, and for some reason, that alone calmed some of my nerves.