Chapter 58
Fuck, I really needed some water.
I rolled over, finding Eva tucked into my side, snoring away.
Gratitude flooded me that I was finally free of the cloying, nonstop neediness of heat. As much fun as it could be, it was exhausting. Just… a lot.
And that heat in particular? It was… intense.
All the bonding, the sharing, I’d never felt so…
connected to everyone. Now, I felt complete.
The scars of my past didn’t feel so present and looming.
There was no lingering doubt that they were going to leave me, or decide I wasn’t good enough for them.
And while I’m sure it wasn’t gone forever, that usual, foreboding dread that came was silenced, replaced with Eva, Marcus, and Cameo instead.
Wait…
I sprang up, the realization hitting me.
Indi and I never bonded. Though everything from the last few days was a blur, the bonds were clear as day in my mind, and Indi’s nowhere to be found.
Why didn’t he take me too? He bonded with Eva.
I took a deep breath. Spiraling would get me nowhere. I needed to be… civil. Reasonable maybe. I could do that, I think.
Careful, so as not to wake Eva, I slid from the bed, threw on someone's shorts that had been left on the floor, and padded into my room.
Our room was empty, so I opened the adjoining door into the office. They were at their desk, video editing software up.
It was obvious I wasn’t being very quiet, with the way they swiveled their chair towards me.
“You’re awake.” They stood to come towards me, obviously planning to hug me, but I took a reflexive step back.
Indi put their arms down, looking at me in confusion. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Why didn’t you bond with me?” I pressed. “You seemed just fine to bond with Eva, but we fucked for days, and you had no inclination to do it to me? I thought you loved me.”
Good job acting calm and reasonable.
Indi didn’t seem upset, as if they expected this reaction.
“Come here,” they said, in that way that left no room for argument. I did, and they took my hand, leading me out of the room, down the hall, and to the bathroom.
I wanted to demand to know what we were doing here, but I kept my mouth shut as they turned on the bathwater. They plugged it and let the water fill. Then, they went to the cabinet and pulled out a wicker basket.
“Pick a soak and a bath bomb,” they said.
Confusion filled me. What were they doing? But they only shook the basket at me.
I picked a jasmine and bergamot bath bomb, and a sandalwood soak.
Indi took my choices from me, put the basket back, then tended to the water. They moved around me as I stood there dumbfounded.
When they came back to me, they took off their own clothes, momentarily distracting me before they stripped me down.
Indi got in the bath first, then invited me in, slotting my back to their front.
The water was the perfect temperature, and the scent that rose from the bath was divine.
They grabbed the bath bomb from the ledge and plunked it in as we both watched it fizz in the water.
“So,” they started. “Can we try that conversation again?”
I sank against them. “I just… don’t understand,” I said quietly.
“Ask again, reasonably, and I’ll tell you.”
My knees came up to my chest as I held them for comfort. “Why didn’t you bond me?”
What’s wrong with me? was the question that wanted to fall from my lips, but I kept it to myself.
“Because I wanted it to feel special,” they said easily.
I turned, not expecting that response at all. “What do you mean?”
The water in the bath sloshed as they grabbed my half-turned form to turn me all the way, so I was placed across their lap, one knee on either side.
“Joon, we’ve been talking about this for so long. And I know that nothing else went to plan, but the one thing I wanted, needed, was for our bonding to feel special, and to be about us. Because I love you so much. And when it happened, it needed to be the way it started, just me and you.”
Tears fell from my eyes without my permission. What was with all the crying lately? Was this Eva’s bond influence? I vowed after this to put a stop to it, happy tears or no.
“So you don’t hate me?”
“No, butterfly, I could never hate you.” They pulled me in for a kiss. “You mean everything to me. The whole pack does.”
“Me too,” I sighed.
He kissed down my neck, down my shoulder, over my arm, to my tattoo. I couldn’t help but flinch when they touched it.
“Does it hurt?” they asked.
“Not physically, but sometimes the memories do.”
Indi nodded in understanding. “Does it bother you?”
“What?”
“That I call you butterfly?” Their finger traced across the design. “I thought it was cute, but now I’m worried it’s only caused you pain.”
“No,” I said quickly. “From the moment you started calling me that, you turned something I hated about myself into a nickname I’ve come to cherish, and I’ll never forget it.”
They smiled brightly. “Good. Now, let me bond you for real, the way I wanted to.”
I nodded. “Please, make me yours.”
Indi kissed me softly, like I was something precious they might accidentally break. Their hands shifted to my waist, lining me up.
I was still so relaxed from being in heat that they slid right in, filling me up quickly. A gasp escaped my lips as they fucked me slowly, purposefully. Everything about this moment was soft and beautiful.
“I love you, Indigo,” I said quietly.
“I love you too, Joon. And I always will.”
We kept going. The water sloshed around us, probably making a mess only Cameo would care about.
“Want to take my knot?” they asked.
“Please,” I all but begged for it.
They started pressing it in, filling me up so entirely I wasn’t sure there was a space of my mind left to occupy.
As the last bit of it fell in place, Indi grabbed my arm, right above my tattoo, and bit down, his teeth going through my skin like butter.
The final piece of me that felt missing snapped into place. That final piece of self-doubt I felt getting decimated by the space Indi now took up inside of me. I cried even more as they licked the pain away.
We kept going like that until we finished in each other's arms.
Nothing had ever felt as perfect as this. We stayed like that, locked together, until I could feel my fingers pruning. I knew we should get out soon, but I wanted to stay like this a little longer. Even when their knot went down, I held them deep inside of me.
My eyes blinked open as the door clicked open and Eva stood there, fully naked, looking to have just gotten up. “Did you guys bond?” she asked.
I nodded.
“I thought I felt it. We’re whole now.”
Tears started streaming down her face. It seemed the water works were going to become a regular thing, especially with the pregnancy.
“Get in here,” I said, knowing she needed a hug.
She didn’t make me ask twice, crawling into the tub and pressing to my back, hugging me.
“I’m so happy,” she sobbed.
“Me too,” Indi and I said at the same time.
“Why is there more crying?” Cameo asked, coming to the door.
“They’re bonded, and we’re all bonded, and I’m so happy,” Eva said.
Cameo came to the bath, kneeling in front of it, rubbing her face. “That’s good,” he conceded.
It seemed he was realizing he would need to get used to the tears, or maybe she was just wearing him down.
Marcus’ room door opened, and he walked into the bathroom, the whole pack joining in on our bath.
He came and sat beside Cameo on the side of the tub. We could have gotten out and moved anywhere else, but it seemed everyone was content here.
Cameo said something snarky, and Eva splashed him, sparking a water fight that left everyone wet.
But the time we were done, everyone was laughing and smiling.
So this was what it meant to be a pack, have a family.
I think I liked it just fine.
THE END