8. Amelie
Amelie
I t was true. Maybe I was too old to believe in fairy tales.
Then again, being here felt like a fairy tale.
The warm feeling that always coursed through my veins when I’d meet my prince in my dreams was present in the room right now.
All of the enchantments of the Forest were exact to the details of my dreams. My prince making butterflies set flight in my stomach at the lightest touch, all of it felt just like being here. With Fern and Kiaran.
Kiaran was trying so hard to keep his eyes off me while I soaped up my body.
But he kept his eyes fixed on the blank walls of the washroom, studying each fleck of dust. I tested him by washing slowly over my décolleté and rolling my head back a bit.
He shifted in response, and his jaw clenched so hard I thought he might crack his teeth in half.
I was still not convinced this wasn’t all a dream, so my bravery was that of dream Amelie’s when Kiaran was being a freak about the bath. But as I sat across from him, feeling confident in my body and its safety, I was beginning to believe this was real.
I figured when he made the bathtub double its normal size that he wanted nothing to do with my body.
I wasn’t even sure I wanted him to do anything with my body.
But there was something about him that made me feel safe.
It often seemed like he didn’t know what to do with me around, instead of the other way around.
I’d never been sure of myself around men.
When I finished, I stood and let the excess water run down my body. Kiaran nearly broke his neck to avoid a glance. I cupped a handful of bubbles and blew them at him, coating his face and chest in the soapy liquid. He had no reaction other than to wipe a few of the bubbles from his eye.
I wrapped myself up in the fluffy robe that hung next to the tub and laughed at how much safer I felt testing an immortal Witch than the guards back home. Leaving the bathroom, I gave him a coy smile. “See you at dinner, magic man .”
Before I could shut the door to my room, I heard a sigh so loud from Kiaran I would venture to guess he’d been holding his breath the entire time we were in there. I spent the rest of the afternoon sending prayers into the void that my little brothers knew how much I missed them.
Dinner went as it usually did. Fern served great food, and I tried my best to eat like a lady.
Kiaran was awkward, and I was chatty. Nothing new there.
I’d seen the Forest’s dusk performance every night since my first day here, and it was never short of spectacular.
Even if Fern could summon the most vibrant, rare colors on the planet, nothing could do the light show justice.
So each night, I committed it to memory.
The path of the butterflies, the direction of the wind as it encouraged the flowers to dance.
I tried to count the sparkling pollen in the air to make sure each speck had a spot in the memory.
I noted the shift in light as the sun fully set and differentiated in great detail how much brighter the Forest was when it first darkened.
I tried to explain to Kiaran how wonderful it was up close, but I caught myself before asking him to come with me next time.
What it must feel like to not be able to leave.
How many nights had he watched the show from the windows or the door frame and felt tortured by it?
When I sat in the middle of it, I felt like I was one with the Forest. As if the plants, bugs, and trees were inviting me personally to their club. An exclusive member.
After spending most of dessert telling Kiaran about the wonders of tonight’s show, he cut me off right as I was about to tell him about the deer that showed up to watch with me.
“Have you learned anything from your books? I noticed you’ve dusted off most of the ones on alchemy.”
“Oh, it’s fascinating! To be an alchemist and have the skills to blend properties together so precisely to make magic?
I’ve started dreaming about it, actually,” I admitted, he seemed curious about that, so I continued.
“Like last night, I was out picking berries by the treeline, and a Dwarven man with facial hair down to his knees and a plump little nose came rushing up to me. He said his wife was terribly ill, and he needed a remedy as quickly as possible.”
“Wait, can you think of your dream? You said you can replay them, but try to picture everything that happened.” Kiaran leaned forward on the table like he was enacting a plan.
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
I focused on the dreamy picture of helping the dwarf and his wife, the exact amount of berries on the bush, the color of the potion… but then the world went black.
“What the–” I shrieked. Someone was holding my hand when Kiaran’s voice sounded into the void.
“Don’t freak out. ”
Too late.
If this was death, then I’d be just fine with that. The world was bright again. Even though it was later in the evening, the birds were singing, and the sun was low in the sky. I took in the fresh, woodsy air, feeling the heat on my face. I turned to Kiaran. “What is this?”
He shrugged. “Look at the bushes.”
Doing just that, my breath caught at the top of my throat.
It was me.
“What? What’s going on?”
“Just watch, Amelie.”
I was picking the berries from the bush and tossing them into a wicker basket on my arm when the little man from last night’s dream ran up to me in a panic. Rattling off the same plea for help.
It was my dream.
Kiaran was still holding my hand, but his eyes were closed now.
I watched it play in front of me, just as it did in my sleep.
“Was that a real potion you learned?”
“No, but one thing that all of those books mention is that half of making potions and elixirs is about simply believing in what you’re blending together.
” It made sense. Kiaran’s magic was at least semi-limited, that much I understood.
His wolves acted like domesticated dogs.
But alchemists held the world at their fingertips.
It was as if no matter what they put into their cauldron, whatever they manifested to happen, happened.
Kiaran’s eyes remained closed, but I watched a dream version of myself and the Dwarven man scurry into the cottage.
Just like a scene in a play, we were now watching from the kitchen inside.
I was breathless from tirelessly stirring the thick elixir, so the dwarf ducked under my arms and took hold of the bottom of the ladle and helped me turn the mixture.
Finally, smoke billowed over from the cauldron. I scooped up a vial of the elixir, and the small magical creature gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek, then hustled off to attend to his wife.
I turned to Kiaran, knowing the replay of my dream had finished. He never reopened his eyes, so I waggled our hands to get his attention, “All done?”
“Yeah,” I replied, adoring the big scary Witch who somehow just showed me my own personal fairy tale. It was crystal clear, like it was happening in real time. I imagined that was how Hansel’s imagination worked, and how he stayed so chipper.
Back to blackness. This time, not so jarring.
“If I’d known it was as easy as just winging it, I might’ve paid more attention in school,” he scoffed at himself once we were back to our corporeal selves.
“Well, it’s not easy ,” I explained, shaking away the dizziness from whatever magic Kiaran just used.
“You have to learn how to control your mind and harbor the energy that thrums through you, then place your intention into that ball of energy and melt it into the cauldron as you mix. That’s why it is crucial to mix counterclockwise.
Stirring against the grain allows the manifestation to seep into the elements as they break down. ”
For some reason, that drew a smile from him. A wider one than I was usually granted, it was beautiful. Kiaran was beautiful. Even when he was hiding back in the shadows, brooding around or making things downright uncomfortable between us. There was no taking away from how striking he was.
Kiaran held my shoulders in his hands, studying me, checking my body over and then meeting my eyes again.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, what the hell was that?” I asked.
He sighed in relief. “I went into your mind and drew from your memory. ”
“You what? ”
What the hell did that even mean? If he could conjure up dreams like that, I wonder if he’s done it for himself. Put himself somewhere that reminded him of being happy.
“It’s Black Magic. It can be dangerous but I’ve only ever used it as a torture device when I was on orders from my High Priestess. I would find their deepest, darkest fears and play it for them up close and personal. It’s really effective, actually.”
Sometimes I thought he spoke before his brain gave him permission. “You’ve tortured people? When you were talking about how terrible you could be, you weren’t kidding?”
His tanned skin paled briefly before schooling his features once again. “Next question?”
Not this time.
“I’m living in this house with you and trying to make myself believe you aren’t going to kill me. I’d like to know who you hurt and why you hurt them.”
“Wouldn’t you rather watch your dream again?”
“ Kiaran. ”
“Fine.”
He finally released my body from his grasp then sat back on the bench. Raking his hands through his hair before straightening to stare blankly ahead. “What tales were you told about the Whispering Forest?”
“Everything I was told growing up about this Forest has been the complete opposite of what I’ve experienced since being here. Aside from the immortal Witch who I’m now roommates with, that is. He seems to fit the mold of all the terrifying tales.”
Kiaran bowed his head. He may have tortured people, and I’d get that story out of him at some point, but I thought maybe he was being tortured too.
Whether by himself or by someone much more powerful than him, I wasn’t sure.
It was as if watching some kind of veil lift and then cover again when he admitted such things.
It seemed like it hurt him to recount the memory.
“I shouldn’t have done that, Amelie.”
“Torture people? Ya don’t say.” I popped a hip and crossed my arms.
“No, draw from your memory. I shouldn’t have gone into your mind like that. I’ve never done it for anything good, and I thought maybe I would try. Maybe it was time to do something good for once.”
That was the first time I felt like I really saw him.
The overwhelming presence he carried with him was crumbling right before me.
Broken and small. He seemed more like a boy right now.
I didn’t understand how he was able to do what he’d just done for me but I wasn’t mad at him for that.
In fact, I thought it was a lovely thing to do. The intention was clearly good.
I was mad that he’d done the same thing to other people, but used it to hurt them.
Taking a seat next to him, I removed his big hands from his temple and wrapped both of mine around them.
“I’m not mad at you for showing me my dream.
I’d love to tell you all of my dreams so I can see them again.
All I’ve ever known is malice and hurt, it’s just hard to hear that you’ve been that person to others. ”
He nodded in understanding, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb against my pointer finger. I didn’t miss the tingle it sent down my spine at the delicate touch. All of his broken pieces were laid out in front of me, but he quickly scooped them back up and threw his mask back on.
“I’m sorry, nonetheless. I’d be happy to listen to your dreams anytime.”
He walked a few paces toward the stairwell leading to the attic. I trained my gaze to my feet. Uncomfortable with the absence of him already .
“Hey Amelie?” He turned slightly before ascending the stairs. His arms were relaxed at his sides, but his fingers thrummed against his thigh.
“What?”
“There was no prince in your dream last night.”