15. Amelie #2
“Uh, noo. Ethel, and her husband are coming for dinner tonight.”
Kiaran turned to look at me and something began racing in his eyes.
He looked panicked.
Staring around the kitchen, his gaze landed on the six pans that were already overflowing with puffy tops. He let out a sigh and hung his head over the bowl, letting go of his stirring stick and bracing himself on the table.
“We are going to need so many more muffins.”
I looked at the pans and did quick mental math of dozens.
“Kiaran there are seventy two muffins over there. How many men is Al bringing?” Laughing, I laid a hand on his shoulder hoping to calm the adorably anxious man in our kitchen.
“Three? Plus him though!”
“You made seventy-two muffins for six total people?”
“Do I look like a man that has hosted before, Amelie? ”
Taking the invitation to decide just exactly who Kiaran looked like, I noticed that he was wearing a lose, nearly see through short sleeved light blue shirt.
He usually wore longer sleeves so I hadn’t noticed before, but little tattoos separated by an inch or two between each of them covered his arms. All kinds of pictures that seemed to tell a story.
The light material of his shirt suggested that tattoos covered his chest and back too.
His hair was disheveled with streaks of frosting coating random strands.
His hands were pure white as if he’d measured the ingredients with them.
He looked so fucking good. But to answer his question, “No, I don’t think anyone has ever assumed six people would eat that many muffins. Is that supposed to be dinner too?”
“Amelie,” He let out an exhausted breath, “either ask Fern for an apron or get out of my kitchen.”
“Speaking of Fern, did you piss her off again? Why didn’t you just ask her to help you?”
Kiaran dropped his stir stick so hard into the bowl then, it painted the table and the floors in sporadic stripes of precious frosting.
Taking a step back from the table like I’d just lashed him with a whip, he landed his hands on his hips and took a slow, deep breath.
His eyes closed and he shook his head slowly.
“You didn’t ask her to help, did you?” It was becoming impossible to hold in my laughter.
“No, Amelie. I didn’t ask her.”
And I burst.
My body folded in half and a long winded laugh expelled from my lungs. I fell on my ass and tried to see Kiaran through my squinted eyes but all I could see was the colors of that girly blue apron, only making me laugh harder.
Footsteps approached my side and Kiaran crouched down next to me.
“You women are going to kill me, ya know that?” he asked, leaving his anxiety and embarrassment back at the splattered bowl of frosting.
I finally steadied my breath and looked up at him. “You’re a mess,” was all I could come up with as my laughing fit started again.
“Right, well I’m going to go clean up. You and your partner in driving me insane can handle this out here.” Straightening his legs, he turned toward the bathroom. Something in my bones felt compelled to follow him. So I did.
“It’s not Fern’s fault.” I defended my friend.
“Who do you think gave me all the ingredients?” He arched a brow and his lips formed a flat line.
God, I loved Fern. I pictured her laughing in her spirit right now, she knew exactly what she was doing.
Kiaran walked into the bathroom, the tub full of steaming water already. I paused at the door, knowing how Kiaran felt the last time I invited myself into the bath with him.
Deciding to play it cool, I began undressing down to my undergarments.
“Why… what…” Kiaran cleared his throat trying to find a more masculine octave. “What are you doing?”
“Taking a bath with you. I’ll help you clean up.”
Kiaran looked over my nearly naked body, fingers strumming his thigh right on cue.
“It’s only weird if you make it weird,” I reminded him.
He chewed on his lip as he watched me dip my toe in the water, as if Fern would make it anything but the most perfect temperature.
Sinking in fully, I tilted my head back and let my waves fall wherever they landed.
Kiaran watched me reluctantly as if he hadn’t kissed the body he was looking at all over the other night.
Giving in, he undressed, leaving his underwear on and joined me in the tub. This time, not making it two lengths longer than it needed to be.
“Turn around. ”
“Why?” He seriously looked like he was about to jump out of his skin.
“I told you I was going to help you clean up. Now turn around and come here.”
His mind was going a million miles a minute. I might not be able to pluck thoughts from people’s minds like him, but it read like an open book on his face.
Slowly, he turned his body and slid back between my legs. The tattoos that covered his back looked like pieces of a quilt. Perfectly placed but with no set pattern.
There was a little bunch of stars under his shoulder blade, a skull on the side of his spine at the nape of his neck almost covered by his hair, a crow mid-flight on the cap of his shoulder, and at least twenty more covering each arm.
The tiny mountain range caught my attention, I wondered what his home looked like.
If it was dreadful like my home or full of hope and beauty.
If his house in my dream was any insight, I’d say it was the latter.
I chose not to ask most of the time, believing it would be too painful for him to talk about a place he may never see again.
“What do all of these tattoos mean?” I asked.
I scooped out a dollop of soap from the jar, lathered it to a foam then slid my fingers into his hair and started to work it through his flour dusted curls.
Kiaran’s head leaned back a bit and his arms that were resting on the side of the tub finally relaxed.
“Fulfilled fates. When I cross the stars the High Priestess chose for me, another one appears.”
“What does this one mean?” I traced the peaks of the mountains on the back of his left arm.
“It’s for my sister. All the ones on my left arm are for the things that live in my heart.” Looking closer at it, it wasn’t a mountain range at all, it was a scribble of the name Mia.
“And the stars?” I asked while cupping water to rinse his hair. His arms slid down the side of the tub and rested on my legs. Suddenly aware of why Kiaran felt this was more intimate for us than the way I’d bathed with my brothers. I certainly did not think of him as a brother.
“It was for my first Winter Solstice,” he replied, leaning his weight further into me.
“Why did you get a tattoo for your first try at breaking the curse?”
“It wasn’t for the curse. I was sixteen, we completed fundamental school the day of Winter Solstice and that night a ritual for the Coven’s newest graduates was performed to be initiated as official members.”
Thinking of a young Kiaran made my heart hurt for the much older version of him. If that boy had any idea his life would turn out the way it had.
“I was obsessed with power back then. While I didn’t expect to spend the rest of my life inside the walls of a cottage, I knew my downfall would be fast and hard.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to think that. I just… I wish it would’ve been different for you. You don’t seem like someone who deserved to be punished the way you have.”
There was no more soap in his hair, but I didn’t want to stop touching him. I grabbed the bar of soap from the tray that hung from the side of the copper tub and began to explore his body under the guise of trying to be helpful.
“I deserved it. I still do. You see a side of me that I don’t even really know.”
I moved down his arms, letting my fingers linger on his skin. He melted into me and I felt my core tighten underneath the weight of his body.
“How do you mean?”
His chest was hard and strong, his heart was thudding in deep beats. I moved down a little lower, his abs could’ve cut me with how tightly they were wound. Kiaran’s hips shifted involuntarily under my touch.
“You make me nervous. I’ve never not known how to handle something. You are literally impossible to be handled . ”
“I’ve never been good at being told what to do.”
“Didn’t your parents have rules?” His breath becoming ragged the more I explored.
“Not really. Lord Bosque had enough rules for us to follow that our parents didn’t bother. Once my father died and my mother had my youngest brother, me and my siblings were essentially parentless and nothing changed. Well, other than not having parents.”
Kiaran laced his fingers through mine when I got closer to what I was really interested in feeling. He stopped me though, bringing my arms around him. I might have been embracing him, but he held all the control here.
“Your dad died? You never said anything.”
“Yeah, the guards said he killed himself at the tree line of the Forest nearly two years ago. I don’t like talking about it.”
“You don’t believe that?”
“No, I don’t believe that. I think they killed him. He was very valuable to our village. People adored him. Lord Bosque didn’t take well to those who were loved.”
Kiaran tilted his head to the side to look up at me. “If your mother was still around, why were you parentless?”
I let out a deep sigh, remembering the day my baby brother was born and the weight that was added onto my world when my mother’s life escaped her eyes.
“The village doctor said the trauma from Tildan’s birth along with the grief of losing my father plagued her with melancholia. She didn’t leave the bed once after Tildie was born. My brothers and I picked up the slack.”
Kiaran released my hands and turned to face me as he slid back to his side.
He leaned forward and intertwined our fingers again in the water.
He pulled me slowly through the water then spun me, ultimately flipping our previous position.
His length was pressing into me. The butterflies in my stomach took flight at the size and hardness of it.
It didn’t seem to phase him though, he held me gently in his arms and lowered his voice to a near whisper against my ear.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For not being given the life you deserved. The love you deserved.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “That’s not your fault. It’s barely my parent’s fault, we were all just trying to survive.”
“I’m still sorry.”
Kiaran’s forearms paralleled my chest in a firm, attentive hold. I leaned the side of my head on it like a pillow and let the tears fall in silent streams. I didn’t want him to see me cry again. I’d shed more tears since being here in happiness than when I was at home in despair.
Instead of keeping my tears hidden, Kiaran begged to see them as he took my chin and tilted my face up to meet his.
“I really want to kiss you right now, but I know I shouldn’t.” His thumbs brushed my tears away. He pressed his lips to both of my eyelids, as if to kiss away my sadness.
I leaned forward slightly, waiting for him to finally give in to the inevitable. His length was pulsing against me.
“Why shouldn’t you?”
He grazed his nose against mine, bringing his lips impossibly close. One tiny movement and they would lock together. The gold in my eyes was hot, heavy, and blinding as his crystal blue ones narrowed in on them.
Kiaran took my chin in his pointer finger and thumb, giving him better access. I moved a rogue black curl from his face as his eyes danced between mine.
“Fuck it.” His voice gravely as?—
Suddenly, a loud banging came from the front door. I jumped out of Kiaran’s arms instinctively, like we’d been caught. My eyes lightened, and the steam in the bathroom was now the only thing obstructing my view .
“Are you expecting someone?” Kiaran whispered, pulling me back to him.
“Amelie, I have a dish to drop off for tonight!” Ethel’s voice was loud and muffled through the front door.
Kiaran released an aggravated sigh and dropped his forehead to my shoulder.
“I’m so sorry.” I blurted as I climbed out of the water. My robe hung right beside the tub so I shrugged it on but before I could leave, Kiaran grabbed my wrist.
“What are you apologizing for?” His tone was stern, a stark difference from the gentle one he used only a minute ago.
“For not being able to… ya know…?” Now that the heat of the moment chilled, it felt weird to address it. I didn’t really know what I was apologizing for, but Kiaran was turned on and I didn’t?—
“No. Stop that thought right now, you are never under any obligation to me when it comes to that.” His eyes burned through mine, as if he was trying to singe the message into my soul. “Ever.”
Tears brimmed in my eyes, his words healed a tiny piece of me. The one that was conditioned into believing that my body was never fully mine. I gave him a tight smile and gulped back the emotion balling in my throat.
“Thank you.” My voice cracked. I cleared my throat, shaking away the lifetime of pain.
I laughed to myself at the memory of Kiaran’s manic episode earlier.
“What?” He asks curiously, still sitting in the tub.
“Seventy two muffins.”
Kiaran scoffed but he was shaking his head with a smile on his face. I left him in the bathroom and went to get the dish Ethel felt necessary to drop off three hours early.