Jett #2
She opens and closes her mouth a few times as tears begin to slowly trickle down her pretty face.
“I…I just couldn’t find the right moment.
How many times have you told me I’m perfect, Jett?
You used the word perfect to describe me all the time.
You’ve had me on this pedestal throughout our entire relationship.
On one hand, it was nice that you saw me that way.
On the other, it was a lot of pressure. I’m not perfect.
No one is. We’re at an age where we all have a history, both good and bad.
We all have baggage. How do I tell the man I loved about the darkest moment in my life?
The most hideous, shameful thing I’ve ever done.
How do I tarnish the way he views me through rose-colored glasses? ”
I nod in understanding as I search for the right words.
“Fallon, I’m sorry for how I treated you.
It was the wrong way to react. Please understand my head was spinning.
Between the stress of you wanting more kids, finding out about the infidelity, and the fact that you lied to me about Kennedy, I was a mess.
It was a perfect storm. I reacted poorly, and I regret it. ”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t lie. You called me a liar, but I’m not. Never have been. We discussed that I wasn’t your spy. If she and I achieved a level of friendship where she confided in me, then so be it. You knew that,” she bites.
“I know, but this wasn’t the girly gossip I assumed it was. This was life-altering information. And—”
“Which is why,” she interrupts, “it was her news to share with you when she chose to do so. It wasn’t mine.
She’s an adult. She wasn’t in danger. It wasn’t my place.
Trust me, Jett, it wasn’t easy. I wished over and over that she hadn’t told me.
But ultimately, I decided that it’s her body, and she would tell you when she thought it was time.
All I could do was encourage her to share it with you, which I did. ”
My jaw tics as I try to remain calm but fail miserably. “My daughter’s safety and well-being were involved.” I push my finger into my own chest. “My daughter. You should have told me.”
“No,” she says coldly as she wipes her tears, “I shouldn’t have.
I would do the same thing all over again.
Her news. Not mine. Don’t pretend like you didn’t want me to take a maternal role in her life.
I could practically see you thinking it.
Hoping for it. You can’t have it both ways.
I gave her the motherly shoulder to cry on.
The motherly ear to bend. The motherly arms to make her feel safe and heard.
And I happily did so because I care about her and I loved you.
Don’t you dare turn the tables on me when it suits you. ”
I run my fingers through my hair. This isn’t going how I wanted it to go. “Fallon, angel face, we need to find a way to put this behind us to move on. I love you. I can’t live without you. I’m dying inside without you.”
Tears immediately fill her blue eyes again.
“Love isn’t conditional,” she breathes as if the words cut her deeply.
“Whatever did and didn’t happen in my first marriage shouldn’t matter.
Me doing what I thought was best for Kennedy shouldn’t matter.
Love, Jett, is supposed to be…unconditional.
” She presses her finger to her own chest, much like I did to mine moments ago.
“I loved you unconditionally. I never let your past impact our future. That’s what love is supposed to look like. ”
“Loved…as in past tense?” I ask with a shaky voice.
“You broke my fucking heart, Jett,” she yells before briefly squeezing her eyes shut to calm herself. “You told me your love for me was unbreakable, and I believed you,” she croaks out. “I thought we had something special. Something that was going to last forever.”
“We did. We do.”
She shakes her head. “No, we don’t.” She inhales a deep breath.
“During my marriage, there was always a voice in the back of my head telling me things weren’t right.
I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It was like living on eggshells, and I hated it.
As much as I loved him, there was an ever-present voice telling me it wasn’t going to last. That it couldn’t last because things were never quite right between us.
” She licks her red, full lips nervously.
“But that’s not how it was with you. For the first time in my life, I felt secure, safe, and sublimely happy.
You made me feel loved. I thought my heart was safe in your hands.
That you would never hurt me. I didn’t have that in my marriage.
” She visibly swallows as her eyes meet mine.
“Tanner broke my heart in half. You shattered it into a million tiny pieces.” She thumps the left side of her chest as tears begin to stream freely down her face.
“I will never fully recover from being cast aside so easily by you. I’m forever broken. I have nothing left to give you.”
My tears now match hers as I barely manage to croak out, “This can’t be the end. We belong together.”
She sniffs a few times before again wiping away her tears and stealing her face. “Are you open to having more children, Jett?” she asks accusatorily, already knowing the answer.
My mouth opens and closes several times, unable to find the words I know she needs to hear.
She nods. “I gave you everything I have, and it wasn’t enough for you.
I was willing to give up something I desperately want because I thought we had a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love.
We don’t belong together because I will never again sacrifice my needs for a man. I’m putting myself first. We’re over.”
She turns and walks away, leaving me shattered and speechless, feeling like my heart has been ripped from my chest and I’ll never get it back.