Chapter 11
I t takes everything and more not to turn my head and look at him.
My whole body is buzzing .
Dean sits next to me and it’s torture.
His arm brushes against me when he moves, his knee taps against mine with each of my fidgety twitches.
He should be in Toronto, grumbling to someone else.
I’m out of my element and I don’t know how to get back into it.
He looks different too, which makes this worse.
No more suits, instead he’s wearing a dark green crewneck that brings out his eyes.
I instantly look away.
What the heck? He needs to go. Now .
He also hasn’t smiled once which I hate because why is he even here if he won’t smile?
Did he follow me here?
A little presumptuous of you to assume that .
You can’t blame me. The last time I saw him, we talked about Love? Check! and now he’s here.
Mr. Vuk is really here.
Nova … the ungroomed daisies.
Kill me. Kill me now.
You know what? No. I don’t want to die. I don’t deserve to die either. He’s the A-hole who said all that bad stuff behind my back. I am Nova Rivera, nothing gets under my skin.
Unless you’re my family, then that’s… self-explanatory.
“Nova?”
Hina squeezes my knee. “You okay?”
Nervously smiling, “Yeah. Of course, just thinking.”
Another brush of his arm against mine.
I’m not sure if the tingles are growing from anger or because I haven’t peed since I got here. Either way, I hate it and I don’t want to think too deeply about it.
Even though it could be more?
There’s two camera people in the room with us now. Headphones on, listening in, and focusing on the angles. I’m vaguely aware of the lens on me and on Hina but refuse to acknowledge them. They’re like thick bugs, waiting for movement to strike.
“Let’s stop there for a second,” Austin follows behind Irene. She’s changed out of her earlier clothes and is strutting towards the middle of the room in a navy pantsuit. I’m never getting over her.
The camera people step away from the cameras, one of them completely leaves the room. I admire their work, I might not like it, but I truly appreciate how they stand up for hours at a time and are going to film us for eight weeks to capture whatever story they want to tell.
“It’s lovely to see all of you in one room,” Irene clasps her hands in front of her.
“Austin and I have spent a long-time planning season three of Love? Check! and for us to be filming it in Lucerne is a dream come true.” She eyes each of us one by one, not a hint of judgement or maliciousness in them.
It’s the same look I get when I open a new package of books.
Unhinged. 110%.
“For the next eight weeks, you’ll be spending time with each other.
You’re bound to like some people and dislike others, which is okay.
This is meant to be about the human experience and how we interact with each other romantically and platonically.
” Her hands are now animated, skin flushing with excitement.
Austin leans back against the wall on his phone.
“However, like I’ve spoken to each of you before…
If there is a pairing the world is rooting for, we might pull you aside and direct some stories for viewership.
This doesn’t mean you can’t spend time with the person you actually feel chemistry with, it just means we won’t air it.
” She lets out a final breath. “Are there any questions?”
Katarina surprises me by asking, “Do the cameras ever turn off?”
Irene knocks one ankle over the other, a tongue pushing against her cheek.
“Great question…” She peers at Austin who gives her a nod, then turns back to us.
“Cameras will turn off at exactly 1:30 AM every night. This is a reality dating show, but that doesn’t mean we want you to feel uncomfortable all the time.
The cameras are on an automatic setting so by 7 AM they’ll turn on again. ”
“How do we know they’re off?” I noticed earlier that they didn’t. Maybe they’re not on right now, but that’s doubtful. “Because they don’t have the red blinking lights.”
“You’ll have to trust us, sweetheart.” Austin peers over at me and the back of my neck bursts with sudden sweat. His English accent might be swoon worthy, but there’s something about him I don’t like .
Because tell me why he’s talking to me like I’m sixteen and not twenty-four?
“We don’t know you,” Dean grumbles beside me. “There’s no trust.”
Dean doesn’t trust anyone. He probably looks in the mirror every morning and flinches because he doesn’t trust himself either.
Austin looks taken aback by that but quickly transforms his expression.
“Our job is to make sure you’re safe in this environment, Dean.
” Irene answers for him. She’s gentle, soothing, and I trust her.
“If I say the cameras will be off at a specified time, then I promise everyone in this room that they will be off. And I am a woman of my word,” she ends it with a joking lift to her tone.
“Just like her father,” Austin adds quite seriously.
Irene chuckles. “Yes, exactly like him.”
I know she means it.
Even if she doesn’t, there’s no room for negotiation.
“Okay, let’s take a ten-minute break and get on with this show.”
Water runs from the open tap.
Taking deep breaths, I watch my nostrils flare with each inhale when my phone starts buzzing.
Closing the tap, I pull it out of the pocket.
Ma.
My throat closes up. Not telling her I was coming here may have crossed my mind once or twice on the plane over, but I knew if I mentioned it, she would have figured out a way to get me to come home.
This is what happens when you don’t pay attention to your daughter for the first ten years of her life.
The nail of my thumb scrapes the skin of my index finger repeatedly. I swipe out of the call while it continues buzzing in my hand and find my way to the app that solves my emotional problems. The bright red summer sale with the lines of books over the banner has me clicking instantly.
There’s a new edition of the book with the dragon riders and a war college. I add it to cart.
There’s a new romance novel with an adorable, illustrated cover.
Also added to cart.
Another, then another.
Each buzz means one book.
Total of fifteen.
I check out.
$365.32
The buzzing stops.
I stop.
But the damage is done. Again .
This is what got me into the library mess in the first place. If only I wasn’t so obsessed with buying books…
How the heck am I going to pay off 15k in the next six months if I can’t control myself?
Leaning against the opposite wall from the sink, I open up mine and Nadine’s chat thread.
In the land of the Swiss. I smell cow poop and happiness. I’m at peace.
She replies instantly.
Ate
Novaaa, my booba. I miss you.
Call me when you can.
I smile at that.
Taking one last look in the mirror (and snapping a selfie), I put my phone back in its pocket and open the door.
Only to bump my head against a broad chest.
I look up.
And up.
He looks down.
And down.
Green. Too green.
Why does he have to be hot?
“Nova,” even his voice is attractive.
I swallow hard, my cheeks burning up. “Mr. Vuk,” I greet with a monotone voice.
He scowls— typical —before opening his mouth.
“Nova, can I talk to you for a minute?” Rhys peeks from behind Dean.
Dean’s jaw ticks.
“Sure, Rhys.” Guess what, ogre , you might be attractive but an ugly mouth ruins all of that. “Excuse me,” I slip past him.
Apparently, Dean isn’t the only one openly glaring in this direction.
“Hey,” Rhys moves to the side to let me in through the door. “Long time no see,” it’s hard for him to pry his eyes off of Dean.
“Yeah,” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “It’s been what?” I count the years on my fingers, then subtract them back to a single finger. “A year and you ended up looking like this? I should’ve waited for you,” I joke .
His eyes crinkle at the corners.
Rhys Silver is a sight for sore eyes. Strong. Masculine. Hot. But unlike ogre over there, he’s kind. The last time I saw him, we ate dinner and shared a lava cake.
“The number you gave me didn’t work,” he silences my joke. “I tried calling you multiple times.”
“Oh god…” I’m a terrible, horrible person.
“My carrier ended up cancelling my number because I couldn’t pay my phone bill.
And then I had to go for a new plan and got a new number, I’m so sorry, Rhys.
It wasn’t on purpose, I swear. I’m not the kind of girl that dips like that and I know you shared that you’ve experienced bad?—”
“Nova,” he chuckles. “It’s fine, don’t stress. Thank you ,” he emphasises with a gentle hold to my elbow—my arms have somehow made their way around me and now I’m hugging myself. “For clarifying what happened. If you hadn’t, I would have assumed the worst.”
“Sorry to interrupt,” one of the crew members with a clipboard and a headset walks up to us. She has blonde hair with purple streaks in them. Super cool. “But we’re gonna need you to get back to your spots. We’re about to start filming again.”
“See you out there,” I say to Rhys.
He pulls me back by the elbow.
“I wanted to warn you away from Dean,” he states carefully. “You remember my job, right?”
I nod.
“Good, because trust me. Dean Vuk is not a good man. I don’t know why he’s here but it’s aligning with the reason for my stay as well.”
Ominous, but okay. “What does that have to do with me staying away from him? ”
He smiles but there’s no humour in it. “You’ve still got a thing for bad boys?”
My blood cools. “Look, Rhys…” I push his hand off of me. “I appreciate you looking out for me, but we’re on a dating show and that means we get to explore our connections with whoever we want. Some days it might be you and other days it might be Dean.” That truth leaves an ugly taste in my mouth.
“I don’t want you making the same mistakes I did, that’s all.”
The amount of times I’ve heard that growing up. “If I want to make mistakes, then they’re mine to make.” I look him straight in the eye, none of my smiles or bright energy disappearing.
“You’re right,” Rhys smiles, apologetic. “I’m sorry.”
He squeezes my shoulder before heading out.
I know he means for it to be comforting, but it isn’t.
When I follow behind, Dean’s still standing where I left him and looking the other way with his arms tersely stretching out the seams of his crew neck.
His eyes flick downwards, and I know he knows I’m looking at him, but he doesn’t glance my way.
Not even once.