Chapter 47
Chapter Forty-Seven
TESSA
I haven’t uttered a single word in the last several hours.
Exhaustion sweeps in, the caffeine from my Diet Coke well beyond gone.
My dad stares through the glass at my brother hooked up to various machines with a large bandage wrapped around his head while my mom bounces her worry back and forth between the two of them.
She’s fussing at my dad to sit and eat, worried that the stress of this evening will set things off for his heart again, but he’s refused to do either.
Instead, he just stares blankly.
Lost in his thoughts.
Kind of like me.
I drift in and out of a light sleep, and eventually, my head lands on Quinn’s lap, who showed up shortly after we did. I jerk awake from the squeaking of a tennis shoe on the floor or the elevator beeping to see her head resting on Beck’s shoulder, only for my eyes to flutter closed again.
There’s a muttering of voices that belong to my brothers.
It isn’t until I hear Van that my heart skips a beat.
He’s here, which means that Rome may be here too.
Assumptions start to pile in my head, rocking the boat of confusion again. I keep my eyes closed, but my ear strains in the direction of Van’s low voice.
“Are they both asleep?” he asks in a hushed tone.
“Quinn is drooling on me, so I think so,” Beck says.
I keep as still as possible.
“Where’s Rome?” Graham asks.
The disappointment is swift, knowing that he isn’t with Van.
I’m confused, and I know there are things going on that I’m unaware of, but right now, all I want is everyone I care about to be next to me.
“He’s here, but he’s keeping his distance.”
“What? Why?” Graham asks.
“If I had to guess, it’s because he’s ashamed,” Van answers.
“Ashamed?” Beck questions.
“What aren’t you telling us?” Graham asks.
There’s silence, and my heart beats faster.
“Can you fucking spit it out?” Beck snaps.
I hear the scruff of Van’s hand against his five o’clock shadow, and I imagine him dragging his palm over his face in frustration.
“Lucas added an illegal mod to their car, which is why Beau’s brakes gave out and caused tonight’s crash. Same with Rome’s from last season. Apparently, he had Rome sign an NDA and threatened him with it…amongst other things.”
It takes everything in me to keep my eyes shut.
“Fuck, no way. Is that why he came to our team? Because he found out his dad was cheating?”
“Yes,” Van says. “But there’s more.”
There’s more?
“Like?” Graham asks.
“Let me remind you that Noah is in the ICU, and Mom and Dad are barely holding it together, so keep yourselves under control after I tell you this.”
“I’m intrigued,” says Beck.
Me too.
“Lucas drugged Tessa.”
I stop breathing.
Quinn shifts, and then I hear her sleepy voice. “Excuse me?”
“What do you mean Lucas drugged Tessa?” Beck asks.
“In Italy. When she fainted and had to go to the hospital. I guess he slipped something into her drink to mess with Rome. He’s been holding shit over Rome’s head to make sure he doesn’t renege on the NDA and tell the FIA about the illegal modifications.”
“Does Tessa know this?” Quinn asks.
I open my eyes and slowly lift my head off her lap. They all turn to look at me.
“No,” I whisper. “I didn’t know.”
Van and I lock eyes, and it’s obvious he knows more.
In fact, he may know everything.
My nose burns, and my throat tightens. “Where is he?”
He flicks his attention to the curve in the hall.
I stand on shaky legs, but Van does too. He follows me on my way, and I turn around and face him.
“Don’t tell them the rest,” I whisper. “Please.”
“Wait.” He tries to keep me from going after Rome, but I shake his grip away and head in the opposite direction on quiet feet.
My heart stutters to a complete stop when I spot him.
In black sweats and a backward hat, he sits on the floor with his back against the wall near the other set of elevators. His knees are bent with his head hanging low.
My shoe makes a noise on the floor, and he quickly glances at me.
“Tess…” he whispers.
A piece of my heart clinks to the floor. There’s too much space between us, but I don’t move closer. I nibble on the inside of my cheek and pull my eyes from his. The air in the empty hall is at a standstill until he speaks.
“How is Noah?”
I sniff. “Fractured skull. They’re keeping him in the ICU for at least twenty-four hours to watch for brain swelling.”
He swallows, the noise loud through the silence. “I’m so sorry,” he says.
I know he is.
That’s why this hurts so much more.
“Me too,” my voice cracks.
“Why are you apologizing?"
I erase some of the space separating us but leave enough to where our arms can’t brush.
I press my back along the wall and slide down to sit like him.
I look to the ceiling to keep my watery eyes under control while I let the next words flow from my mouth.
“I’m sorry for not putting a stop to us before it turned into this.
” A choked noise leaves me, and I bite down on my wobbly lip.
“Tess,” he rasps.
“Your father used me to control you. He threatened you through me. And now Noah is in the hospital because I’m a weakness to you. To the entire team. I’m a liability.”
“That is not true.” His jaw tightens. “I could have told the FIA sooner, but I chose not to because of the NDA.”
I bite down on my lip again, this time harder.
“I was still used as leverage, Rome. Our relationship has complicated everything.” I swallow past the lump in my throat.
“There is no going back after this. Say this all blows over with the FIA…do you really think we can carry on like we are now? Our team needs trust and clarity, and I don’t see how that’s possible after all of this. ”
He clenches his eyes shut and drops his head in between his knees.
It hurts to watch him, because I know him well enough now to know his chest is tight like mine.
Seconds stretch into minutes before he eventually shifts beside me. I peek over at him, and the blue in his eyes is so vibrant I lose my breath.
He nods subtly. “I understand.”
My heart falls, and I look away. A tear slips out of the corner of my eye, despite my efforts to keep it intact. Rome’s finger sweeps across my cheek, and he flings it away, letting his hand linger there for longer than it should.
Why does this hurt so much?
We sit in the quiet for too long before I can’t take it anymore.
I quickly climb to my feet and sniff up the rest of my emotions. Rome is a part of our team right now, even if it’s messy between us, and it’s time we pull ourselves together.
“Let’s go sit with the rest of the team,” I say.
Surprise flickers across his face, but he pulls himself to stand.
The FIA is likely looking into each aspect of the race, the modifications, Vanstone, Pierce, and everything in between, and whether or not my heart can take it, he’s not going anywhere yet.
I’d told myself Rome came here to burn Vanstone to the ground, but somehow, we were the ones who ended up being the match.