Chapter 23
I sang along to the Joan Jett song blaring through my speakers as I rushed back across town. There was absolutely no time to spare on my impromptu little field trip back home on my lunch break.
I should have just done what I wanted to before I left the house to go to the rink for my shift, but I’d let fear talk me out of it.
Embarrassment.
I was rushing home to grab the Net Crasher Jersey that had hung in my closet for the last two years since Rick got it for me for Christmas.
I had never worn it. It was too embarrassing to wear the jersey of my secret crushes like some horny teenage girl.
But now, I didn’t just have a crush on a player. I was dating him, both of them.
The whole idea of wearing their jersey tonight was stupid, childish even.
But the thought of walking in tonight wearing their team logo on my chest had been gnawing at me since Wednesday’s practice.
The thought of what they’d look like when they saw me in it was reason enough to risk the embarrassment.
For them, I’d do just about anything.
Never mind the idea of them tag teaming me after the game, filling me at the same time, pushed me into it.
The other night, had fulfilled sexual fantasies of mine I never even admitted in the daylight before. They were ravenous for me, watching me, helping me, urging me to give them more.
And I wanted to give them this in return.
The second I put my car in park, I ran to the front door, chased by the cold front moving in, and slammed the door shut behind me to ward it off.
I was doing a mental countdown of how many minutes I had until I was expected back behind the bar, slinging beers to drunk players and fans as I rushed through the house to my bedroom.
Straight to my closet, pushing past all of my other clothes to grab the feminine cut orange and blue jersey I had loved from the first second I saw it in the shop at the front of the rink.
Turning with it in my hands, a smile on my lips, I froze when I caught sight of something out of place.
My nightstand.
Or better yet, on my nightstand.
My sex toy, that I used for Travis and Eli.
My head cocked to the side as I slowly walked toward it, perplexed. I remembered washing it in the bathroom sink after the guys left and putting it away back in the kid-proof drawer at the top of my closet before Emmie and Toby woke up.
My mind screamed as I tried to figure out how I had somehow put it back out in the wide open.
But I knew I didn’t.
When I picked it up, something wet touched the tip of my finger, and I dropped it back onto the stand in disgust.
“No,” I bent over and clicked the lamp on above it, and saw the half-dried opaque mess all over it. “What the fuck?”
My stomach turned, and every hair on my skin prickled and rose.
Someone had been in my room.
In my home.
My pulse was in my throat as I scanned the rest of the room. Nothing looked stolen, everything was still there. Nothing was overturned or broken.
But the air felt wrong.
Heavy.
Like the walls were falling in on me, leaning against themselves, telling me that I wasn’t alone inside.
Travis.
Eli.
Call them.
The thoughts raced through my head as my stomach clenched in fear. But I couldn’t. They were already at the rink by now, changing and warming up for their game.
I couldn’t disrupt them.
Besides, what was I supposed to say? That I found something gross on my nightstand and that I was scared?
I was a single mom; I didn’t get to be scared. I always had to be brave. With shaking hands, I lifted the toy by the base and shoved it in the trash in the kitchen, burying it under paper towels and other trash sitting on top.
And then I pulled the jersey on and left the house, calling my mom as I got back in my car.
“Hey, Honey.” She said in greeting, “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I swallowed, driving through the winter darkness back to the rink. “Is everything good there?”
“Here?” She asked with a chuckle, “Yes, we’re fine. The kids are watching a movie, and I’m reading. Why?”
“No reason,” I said, forcing myself to take a deep breath. “I just wanted to make sure before I went back in for the rest of my shift.”
“Are you okay?” She asked, and I could feel the shift in her voice like a physical change in direction. “You sound winded.”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I raised my voice to sound more upbeat.
“Franny,” She warned, “I don’t want you overburdening yourself.” I groaned silently, fighting the urge to hang up before she could talk about the worst time of my life. “The last time you burned out so hard you—”
“Mom.” I snapped. “I’m not burned out; I just had a few minutes to get stuff done. Nothing more.”
“Are you sure?” She pushed, “You’re dating. Not just one man either—”
“Mom.” I turned my car off as I parked in the rink lot next to Eli’s truck.
Travis’s truck wasn’t around, but I tried not to worry about that.
“I am actually loving life right now, thriving and happy and not at all worried about all that other crap, okay? Now I have to get back inside before Rick tries to play bar-back and ruins my night.”
She chuckled, like she was letting it go, “Okay fine. Have a good night. I’ll bring the kids over after church in the morning. So, sleep in and get some rest.”
“Okay.” I swallowed, already anxious over the idea of going back to the house, but pushed it down as I got out. “Love you.”
“Love you too, sweetie pie.”
I rushed inside, fighting the urge to look over my shoulder at the door.
The rink was buzzing with people, the locals all loved the Saturday night Net Crasher games.
As I rounded the lobby, I spotted Travis and Eli at the near end of the rink working through warm-ups, but they both noticed me immediately.
The way Travis’s mouth curved when he saw me in the jersey momentarily mesmerized me, and then again by the way Eli’s eyes lingered on its logo across my chest.
For a moment, I almost forgot about my fear.
Until Eli’s gaze narrowed, head tilting slightly, reading me like he always did.
“You good?” he mouthed, and I gave him two thumbs up with a forced smile.
Could he tell it was forced from the ice?
Nothing's wrong.
I swear.
Eventually, maybe I’d convince myself.