Chapter 20
20
OWEN
“Eh, forget I said that,” I stutter.
I’ve never told anyone I love them before.
I know Jade and I have spoken about falling for one another and catching feelings, but what if she isn’t quite where I am yet? What if she doesn’t love me? Not fully… not yet?
I don’t think I could face the humiliation of telling someone I love them for them to not say it back.
Although it feels like she does.
We connect in a way I have never experienced with any other human being, and being with her feels different.
We feel right.
Perfect together.
We laugh, bicker playfully, and have moments where we never have to speak, but know we don’t need to because we are content together. Everything about us feels aligned.
“Why should I forget what you said?” Her eyes widen in amusement.
“Because it sounds stupid now that I’ve said it.” Plus, having not told anyone I love them before, I was expecting it to be in a far more romantic setting than overhearing a conversation with my friends. Maybe a five-piece string quartet playing something super meaningful in the background while fireworks explode overhead, surrounded by dozens of roses. Isn’t that what they do in the movies?
Only I could fuck up a beautiful moment. Again.
“Your heart is beating faster.” She drums the fingers of her rested hand on my chest.
“It’s not.”
“It is, and it’s not a stupid thing to have said.”
“Yes, it is.” I slip Poppy into Jade’s arms and move away as sweat breaks out across my forehead. “It’s been three weeks. It’s ridiculous of me to think that I am. Isn’t it?” It’s a rhetorical question. “You can’t fall in love in three weeks, can you?” I look at Jade and she’s staring at me as if I’m amusing her. I start to pace when she doesn’t reply. She’s got me all in a fluster. “I mean, I dated Skye for fourteen years, and I’m not sure I was ever in love with her. It was a high-school relationship that went on way too long. We were more like friends by the end, which was all my fault. I never let her in. I didn’t tell her things that were going on at home.” My rambles take on a new up-tempo pace as I wave my arms around in the air like a wacky promotional inflatable tub guy. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. Christ, I didn’t even take the time to buy Skye gifts when we were dating. I let Jacob do that. I’m not romantic. Even the boat ride and theater tickets I organized for Evangeline weren’t romantic. I was never exposed to what love really looks like, except from my friends and their families; they are all crazy about each other. My family is a mess, and I know it’s a shitty, heartless thing for me to say, but I hate my parents. Their relationship is forced, orchestrated. As a kid, they?—”
Jade cuts off my racing words. “You’re freaking out. ”
“I’m not freaking out.” Why the fuck do I feel lightheaded?
“Yes, you are. Stop moving.” She’s firm with her instruction, so I do as she asks.
Hand on my hips, almost out of breath, I can barely look at her. What is wrong with me?
“Answer me this,” Jade says calmly. “Do you think about me most of the time?”
“Yes.” Constantly.
“Do you want to spend every waking hour with me?”
More if I could. “Yes.”
“Do we laugh at the same things, love the same television programs, you can’t stop smiling and feel you’re a better person having met me?” Poppy plays with the collar of Jade’s flight suit.
“I can’t disagree with any of that.” The intensity of feelings I have for Jade is borderline obsessive.
“Is having sex with me the best sex you’ve ever had?” She gives me a knowing smile.
“Shhh, not in front of the baby.” I place my pointer finger over my lips. “But yes,” I whisper, then take a slow step toward her, feeling more like me again.
She continues. “So tell me the dark cloud that was hanging over you. Has it flown away?”
“Yeah.” I nod my head. Yeah, because of you. Although I push my father’s threat of turning up away because he can make that black cloud reappear.
“And when we talk, text, kiss, touch, does it feel like we twisted that megawatt lightbulb on, causing sparks to shine brighter than any filament?”
“It’s like an explosion in my chest.” I’m only two steps away from her now.
She looks up at me. “And does it feel like someone pressed the accelerator and everything is going so fast, and like we’ve been together forever?”
“How the hell do you know how I’m feeling?”
“Because I feel the same way, Owen.”
“You do?” Confidence blooms inside me. I close the space between us. We’re only inches apart, but it’s still too far away. She feels the same. My heart does that weird flipping thing again that it only does around her.
Reaching up, I cup her face with my palm.
“I do, Owen. I’ve fallen for you. This is all so?—”
“Incredible.” I can’t stop the Cheshire cat grin forming across my lips. For the first time in, well, ever, I feel a deep contentment, giving meaning to all the parts of my life that made little sense before now. I move in closer to her lips. “You make me feel more daring.” She makes me want to free-jump off a cliff while holding an enormous flag telling everyone I’m in love with her. Because I am. Or maybe she could teach me how to fly that awesome jet of hers and I could write it across the sky in giant letters.
She whispers, “If I make you feel like a daredevil, I should take you out flying before we leave the island.”
“I would love that.”
“You would vomit.”
“I’d be fine,” I lie, knowing she’s right. I’ll probably hurl my guts up. “I like roller coasters.” I do, but doing several loops in the air at over five hundred miles an hour? Nah, no thanks.
“It’s not the same.” She chuckles, her lips brushing mine.
“But we feel the same.” I press a kiss against her soft lips. “I love you, Hotshot.”
“I love you, too, Owen.” She stares at me for a moment and I can see the emotion dancing in her eyes, then she kisses me with the gentleness of a fluttering set of dragonfly wings .
I wrap my arms around her and little Poppy, who is still in Jade’s arms, and squeeze them, then kiss the tip of Jade’s nose, then her cheek.
“I love both of you,” I whisper against the shell of Jade’s ear.
“Which makes me love you even more. The way you are with her melts my heart,” Jade admits. “You’re so caring and patient with her. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”
And they are everything I didn’t know was meant for me.
“Dada?” Poppy’s little voice chirps.
I lean out of our hug and kiss Poppy on the cheek. “Not yet. Patience, Poppadom. We’ve only just told each other we love one another.” Then I wink at Jade, and she smiles happily.
“How many nicknames do you have for her?”
I pull Poppy out of Jade’s arms and thread my fingers into Jade’s. “I have at least another dozen.” I walk us to the bottom of the stairs. “Now, Mommy, you go take a shower and put on something pretty.” I lean down and whisper in Jade’s ear. “Minus the panties.” She shivers when my lips brush over that happy spot behind her ear and she lets out a little moan. “Easy.” I use that commanding tone she loves so much and squeeze her hand. “I will make us a lovely dinner this evening, then we are going to watch Glow Babies .” I focus my attention back on Poppy. “Because it was just getting to the good bit where Sunlight was going to rescue Flash from the grumpy Cloud King.”
Poppy claps excitedly in response.
“You’re so odd.” Jade shakes her head.
“And clever. Glow Babies makes her sleepy.” I’m certain the animators on that show are on drugs; it’s fucking mesmerizing. “And I have plans for us tonight.” I drop my voice and I swear Jade glows.
“Yeah?” Her eyes flash with a carnal, ravenous look .
“Yeah. It’s Mommy and Da—” I correct myself. “I mean, Mommy and Owen time.”
She licks her lips. “I’ll call you Daddy later.”
Her words make me groan, my cock twitching against the fabric of my shorts. “Not appropriate while I’m holding the poopinator.”
She mouths a “ Sorry” . “I’ll go jump in the shower.” She skips up the stairs giddily.
And my heart skips on its own accord, too.
She loves me.