Chapter Four
Cesare
HE HEARD HER brEATH catch as their fingers twined, and Cesare's grip on her hand involuntarily tightened. The sound she had made was delicate, just like the rest of her was, and it had him feeling fiercely protective, in a way that he had never been in his life.
Why did this girl seem so different from all the others?
With her head still bent, and her gaze on their clasped hands, he was able to run his gaze over her from head to toe, broodingly.
She was eighteen to his twenty-eight. Too damn young, in other words, and especially since Cesare had always preferred his lovers to be closer to his age, as this made them less likely to be emotional and clingy.
She was also too pale and too thin, all skin and bones actually, and he wondered grimly if this meant she was the type to go crazy on her diet.
Nothing about Penelope matched his usual type in women, and while he had been mentally prepared to still go through with their wedding even if he were to find her completely unattractive—-
That was the fucking irony, really.
The moment he had seen her, he wanted her, and he wanted her with the kind of intensity and hunger that he had never felt with any other woman.
Big, dark eyes suddenly lifted up to his, and Cesare sucked his breath at how everything about her effortlessly seduced him...despite her sexual innocence. Just looking at her had him so fucking hard...and for better or for worse, it was just as fucking clear that she wanted him back.
Penelope's heart-shaped face was like an open book, and while both her fear and confusion were patently evident, there was also no mistaking the sweetly imploring plea in her lovely, dark gaze.
I want you, those eyes said.
I want to fuck you.
But I don't know where to start.
His Penelope was a virgin in short...and while in the past he had never given a fuck about being any woman's first—-
With her, it was different.
With her, it mattered a fucking lot that he would be her first—-and her last.
His cock would be the only cock she would ever know the shape, taste, and feel of—-and this, too, was different, since he had never felt this possessive with any of his previous lovers.
She was starting to change him, Cesare realized, and what was more disconcerting was how completely unaware she was of her effect on him.
He could feel her nervousness growing as he led her further down the hallway, and Cesare slowed his steps to a halt.
"What's troubling you, tesoro ?"
She shook her head, but he was not to be dissuaded. "Your silence will not solve anything," he chided gently.
Frustration further darkened her gaze, but she eventually ended up blurting out the truth.
"It's just that...everything's happening so fast."
He cupped her chin, and he heard her catch her breath again at his touch. "Lying to yourself won't solve anything either."
"But I'm not—-"
"What you're truly struggling to accept, tesoro, is the speed in which your feelings have changed towards marriage...and me."
Her lips parted in shock, and it was just too much fucking temptation for him to resist.
A whimper escaped her as he abruptly took her lower lip and sucked hard on it, and only Cesare's swift reflexes had his arm automatically curling around her waist when her knees buckled as soon as he lifted his head.
"Careful, tesoro. "
She pushed him away, and he obediently stepped back from her.
"You s-startled me," she stammered.
"I think I did more than startle you, Penelope."
"W-What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean..."
His gaze lowered to her cleavage as he drawled the words out, and another whimper slipped past her lips when she saw what he was staring at.
"It seems that your nipples are more honest than your lips, tesoro ." Cesare looked at his fiancée gravely. "I shall endeavor to remember that once we're married."
Penelope's shock had her hands flying up to cover her mouth, but then a second later it seemed as if she had realized she wasn't covering what was pertinent, and Cesare was unable to stifle his grin when she released a mortified cry.
"Allow me to help you," Cesare offered.
"Wh-what—-"
The alarm in her eyes only made him want to bully her even more.
This is all your fault, tesoro.
And so he did.
Penelope
By the time I realize what Cesare plans to do, it's too, too late.
His big, strong hand has already cupped my breast, and my lungs threaten to collapse when I feel his fingers tighten around the plump, swollen flesh...before giving it a squeeze.
Nooooo!
It goes without saying that I've never had a man touch me like this before, but I also know in my heart that only this man's touch can make me feel this hot and bothered.
Is this really happening?
I look up at him in a mixture of dismay and helpless desire, and lust glitters down at me from his gaze...just as he adjusts his hold on my breast, and I find myself nearly jumping out of my skin when he suddenly pinches my nipple between his fingers.
Aaaaah!
The feeling is totally indescribable, but it also makes me panic, and I shove him off as hard as I can.
Cesare only smiles as he steps back, and it's no wonder he does, since we both know I'm only free of his grasp because he chose to let me go.
"There's no need to feel shy."
It's my first time to hear a purring note in his voice, and the sound makes me grit my teeth.
Don't let him seduce you!
"I'm just as turned on as you are, tesoro ."
There's only one thing I can do when I hear that—-
Don't fall for his trap!
My gaze immediately swerves down, and is it just my imagination...or has his package gotten even bigger in the past five minutes?
" Ahem. "
I quickly whirl around as soon as I hear La Strega's voice, and I see her witchy gaze narrow when her grandson also turns to face her...while casually placing a hand on the small of my back like he's already claiming me as his property.
I try to pull away and fail, with Cesare this time refusing to let go.
"How disappointing." The older woman's tone is dry. "I thought you'd have charmed her by now."
"You must have me confused with Massimo, Nonna, " Cesare returns mockingly. "I've always gotten what I wanted...while being the opposite of charming."
"Hmph."
La Strega walks past us, and Cesare firmly keeps me by his side as we follow behind her.
"Please let go of me," I mutter under my breath.
Cesare bends his head, and I don't even have a chance to gasp as he takes a punishing bite of my ear before whispering—-
"Never ."
I trip over my own feet after that, and of course this gives Cesare another opportunity to play the gallant knight as he easily yanks me back and saves me from my clumsiness.
Grrr.
Cesare only lets go of me when we finally reach what I can only assume is the Blue Room at the end of the hallway, and being famiglia must pay really, really well because the room apparently borrows its name from the blue porcelain dinnerware sparkling from a Rococo-style dining table that can comfortably seat a dozen guests.
Agnes from earlier starts handing out menu cards when we're all seated, and I guess that makes it official: it really pays to be famiglia, and ooooooh...
My stomach rumbles as soon as the mouthwatering smell of our first course hits my nostrils. It's the creamiest soup with the freshest slices of mushroom, and I feel like crying when I finally have a taste. It's really, really, really good...and the last time I had anything as good as this was back when my parents were still alive.
Just focus on the food, Penny!
I grab the menu card to distract myself, and it certainly does the job.
Wow.
I have to read the menu card twice just to make sure I'm not imagining anything. Everything listed here is plant-based, and I guess that means the Marchettis don't see anything wrong with harming fellow human beings...but are choosing to draw the line on consuming animals?
"Is anything wrong, tesoro ?"
I realize both Cesare and his grandmother have heard me choke back a laugh, and I quickly shake my head. "Just, um, something stuck in my throat." My life right now may be in shambles, but I'm still far from suicidal, so thanks, but no thanks, I have absolutely no plans on sharing my thoughts about their dietary choices.
Their famiglia, their rules.
Agnes and two other maids come back to take away our soup bowls, and the other starters that follow include three-cheese cigar rolls (non-dairy, of course) and edamame tartelettes. The real star of the night is, of course, the main entrée, and it's only when I'm halfway done with my cauliflower truffle risotto that I hear Cesare bite my name out while talking to his grandmother in Italian.
"Are you guys talking about me?" I ask suspiciously.
" Sì, " the two Marchettis confirm at the same time, and without any hesitation at all.
Err...ouch?
Should I feel offended because they're being rude...or alarmed since they are my kidnappers, and it's quite possible they're planning something nefarious?
I know I should feel concerned at the very least, but it's hard to make myself care when I'm enjoying the best meal I've had in ages, and... oooh, dessert's here, and it smells decadently divine.
Just one bite of my seven-layer chocolate cake tastes like sin, and I make up my mind then and there: I'm just going to focus on filling my stomach, since I am still their prisoner, and I need to have enough energy for whatever my next ordeal will be.
Supper comes to a satisfying end with a palate-cleansing coconut sherbet, and it's only when I hear Cesare murmur my name that I'm aghast to realize I've nodded off while waiting for coffee to be served.
Oops?
"Congratulations, tesoro ," Cesare drawls. "I think it's safe to say you're the first person in the world to have had food coma while being kidnapped."
I think so, too, actually, but no way am I going to admit it, you know?
"I...I...was just tired —-" It's the lamest excuse, but I end up stunned when the gleam of amusement in his gaze abruptly vanishes. He bought that? Really?
"I asked Nonna if I may speak to you in private," Cesare says tautly.
The atmosphere in the room instantly changes, and I start feeling nervous when I realize the sudden tension between us hasn't anything to do with my food coma. "Is it that bad?"
" Sì, tesoro. It is that bad."
Shit.
Is this about something I did? Is it something that could get me killed? Is it—-
" Perdonami ."
—-something that would make him say 'fuck me'?
"I'm saying... I'm sorry. "
But I heard him wrong obviously, and I'm relieved to be wrong. Honest.
"Because unlike you, I've always known about our betrothal."
He says the words like he's grimly confessing his crimes to a judge, and my confusion only grows, since I just can't see where this conversation is leading to.
"But unlike your grandmother or mine, I never tried to look for you. I even convinced myself it was for the better—-and for that you paid the price of my selfishness."
The self-contempt harshly underscoring his tone is unmistakable, but—-
"I still don't get it?" I say weakly. "Are you blaming me—-"
"Certo che no!"
I don't get that either, but the exasperation in his tone is clear enough, so I'm guessing he's saying no?
"I am blaming myself," Cesare grates out.
"For what?"
"For what you had to endure," he snarls. "I was watching you eat earlier—-"
Oh shit, did he hear me burp?
"And I could not understand why it seemed like you hadn't eaten for days. That was when Nonna told me where she found you—-"
Understanding finally dawns, and I jerk in my seat.
"It is because of me that you had to live off the streets, because of my selfishness that you look like a fucking breeze can blow you away—- "
I was afraid this was all about Cesare pitying me, but instead it's so much worse, and I frantically shake my head at him.
"Stop. Please ."
And I mean it.
He has to freaking stop...because if he says another word, I think I'm going to cry, and that's the last thing I ever want to do.
"Just... stop ."
Because it feels like an eternity ago since the last time someone made me feel I'm not alone.
An eternity, dammit .
It felt like an eternity since my parents died, an eternity since someone cared, an eternity since someone gave a shit about me.
And after that, it was day after day of feeling I was alone in the world even when I'm surrounded by other people...until now.
Until him.
I jerk in shock when Cesare turns my chair to face him without warning, and a gasp escapes me as he suddenly leans forward.
"Wh-what—-"
He clasps my face with both hands, and the moment I feel his touch on my skin—-
No, no, no.
I try slapping his hands away. I try freeing myself. I try anything and everything that can keep my eyes from watering—-
But it's too late.
His gaze captures mine, and tears start spilling down my cheeks as soon as I see the remorse in his eyes.
"I know I fucked up, tesoro. I know I've given you every reason to choose someone else—-"
This is so embarrassing, dammit.
"But I still want you to choose me."
Everything I've gone through should've made me tough, and I did think I've become tough...so why am I crying now?
"Choose me," Cesare says fiercely, and it's just ridiculous how his words have my tears falling even faster.
Is this really how it's going to be, dude?
"Choose me, tesoro, and there will never be another day in your life that you'll have to fear anyone or anything."
A gorgeous mafia boss only has to act like you're important to him, and you turn into a crybaby all of a sudden?
He wipes my tears away, and the gentleness of his touch nearly kills me.
No, no, no.
"You only have to belong to me, Penelope—-"
I try pushing him away again, but it's simply too late.
"And I will take care of you for the rest of your life."
It's bad enough that I want him so much he's come to own me—-
You're making a big mistake, Penny!
But now I realize I also trust him with all of my heart, and I don't even know how or when it happened.
"You better mean everything you said," I snarl through my tears, "or I swear to—-"
Mmph!
Just like that I have my first kiss, with his mouth stealing my breath away as it swoops down on mine.