Chapter Seventeen
RAYNE
I’ve immediately noticed the change in Shay recently.
It’s been over a week since we went over the papers the lawyer brought, but now we have a week left together.
We’ve done several different trust exercises, role-playing scenarios, and lessons on choosing the right partner.
She’s asked a lot of questions, and it gives me confidence that she won’t fall into the hands of someone who can abuse her again.
When I first met her, I was afraid she was too far gone to respond as well as she had.
Learning the truth set her free and allowed her to grow in an amazing way.
Even Tabitha has been impressed with her response to treatment.
Now it’s time to start preparing her to leave—I found a good therapist that can continue treatment on a week-by-week basis, and scheduled their first session two weeks from now.
Shay is in a group session this morning.
It’s focusing on adjusting to life outside of the institute and after treatment—it’ll be good for her to be with other patients that are leaving soon.
I haven’t looked at the letter she gave me from Arin a week ago.
It feels wrong to read it and for her to not know what he had to say.
Will she regret giving the letter away? I think I would, but then again we’re two different people.
I think I know what to do.
Rayne
Can I have the key to the crematorium? I want to use it tonight.
Thane
Of course. I’ll leave the key at the front desk before I leave. Glad you’re back, Rayne.
Rayne
Thanks, I am too.
I have a few things to do before Shay’s therapy session ends.
After we have some dinner, we head back to our private room to relax for a little while until it gets nice and dark out.
We’ve been spending lots of time here doing our therapy exercises.
I haven’t told her what I have planned for tonight—I don’t want her getting nervous or scared that I’ll be bringing up the letter.
We haven’t spoken about it, but I think it’s important to address it one final time.
I picked up the key to the crematorium Thane had left for me; it’s been a long time since I’ve been there. The last time I went was with him, and I burned my blood-soaked clothes after what happened with my last patient. So this will be a moment of healing for both of us tonight.
“Shay, let’s go for a walk.”
She looks outside, “But it’s dark out.”
“I know. We won’t go far, just out to the end of the property. There’s a building there we haven’t explored yet.”
She stands and waits for me to get up to lead her out.
Even with all of our training, she still looks to me for guidance.
I’m still not sure if it’s because she still feels unsure about things, or she wants to do it.
I want to feel like she does it because she wants to, but I try not to think about that.
The nights are warming up, the moon is full and bright, and there’s not a soul in sight.
Some of the therapists offer nighttime training for their patients in the wooded area, but I’ve never been one to like that kind of therapy.
I’m glad it’s quiet tonight—I wanted us to enjoy the walk over to the crematorium.
Once we arrive, it looks like an abandoned old building—it looks nothing like the institute main building.
Only Thane uses it, so he has the only key.
I unlock the front door and walk in, feeling the sides of the wall for the light switch.
Looking back at the doorway, Shay stands outside with a look of disappointment on her face.
“It’s okay, babygirl. Come inside—it’s just us in here tonight.” After she walks in, I close the door behind her. It’s a small space with only one cremation chamber, so I fire it up. We won’t need to wait long to get it hot enough for what I want to do.
“What—what are we doing here, Rayne?”
After a few minutes, I finally pulled out the letter from my back pocket. Still unopened and unread. “I brought this with me tonight because it’s not mine to keep. I haven’t read it, and I won’t make you read it if you don’t want to. I do want you to get rid of it though.”
“The last time I was here, I got rid of something that reminded me of my failure to help someone. To hide my shame, but it only helped for a short time because I wasn’t really ready to let go.
I want you to let go of him because that’s the only way you’ll heal, Shay.
I know you think you’ve let him go, but this is the last bit of it.
” I hand her the letter and watch as her hand trembles as she picks it up.
She goes to open it, but stops herself and smiles. She gives me that perfect, beautiful smile that makes me feel like everything will be ok. “I don’t need to read it, but you’re right.”
I partially open the chamber, let her slide the envelope in, and we close it.
Together. I immediately feel a sense of relief and peace; judging by the expression on her face, she feels the same way.
This is the perfect way to end things between them.
Pure and final. Now if only our ending can be the same, I would be happy, but I have a feeling it won’t be as easy. Not for me at least.
SHAY
I leave tomorrow. This is it. My final night at the institute.
Everything today has been bittersweet. Rayne and I scheduled my ride back to New York, and to the apartment my new lawyer bought for me using some of the funds from my accounts.
It’s still a strange feeling to know I have so much money at my disposal.
Instead of going crazy buying a penthouse in an expensive part of the city, I opted for a modest loft upstate.
I’ll need to take driving lessons, get my license, buy a car, and worry about finding work or something to keep myself busy.
For now I think I’ll have enough things to do on my own for the first time.
I kind of feel like I’m just coming into adulthood again.
Maybe I’ll go online and try to find some new friends.
Yesterday I saw Colin again and grabbed his social media info so we could keep in contact.
I’ve packed up my things, and I think I’m ready. Although I don’t know how I’ll get used to not seeing Rayne or speaking with him every day. When I think of how empty and alone the apartment will be, my heart sinks, but he keeps telling me I’ll be okay. It’ll take time, but I’ll get used to it.
A soft knock on my door startles me; even after all this time here, something like that still scares me.
Rayne peeks his head through the door and smiles.
Oh God. I’m going to miss that smile so much.
The last few days have been quiet between us—like we don’t know what to say anymore.
It’s comforting but sad at the same time.
“All ready to go?” He notices my luggage near the door.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I sigh. All I know is that I won’t sleep tonight.
“Don’t worry, babygirl, you’ll be fine. Always remember that.
I—uh…I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I can see you off tomorrow.
” He clears his throat, and I can see the sparkle of tears in his eyes.
“I think I’m going to head home tonight.
Your ride is scheduled for early morning, and you should be at your new home in no time. ”
“I understand,” I whisper, even though hearing him say he won't be here tomorrow hurts, but it’s true. I understand; if I were in his shoes, I don’t know if I could let go.
He slowly walks over, gently caresses my face, and gives me a sweet kiss on the forehead. My arms wrap around his waist, and we hold one another for a little while.
“Goodbye, Shay.”
“Bye, Rayne. Thank you for everything.”
“I should be thanking you. You made me feel hope again.” With those final words, he leaves the room.
Watching him go makes me feel sadder than the moment I found Arin dead on the bathroom floor.
I just watched the best man I ever called Daddy leave me, and he took a part of my soul I won’t ever get back.