Chapter 26
26
Atlas
M y phone vibrated, so I held up a hand to the group of people who were doing a site visit with me, and stepped out of the room into the echoing concrete corridor.
I was at the construction site of an office building, surveying the plans and taking a look at the building now the exterior was done. The floor of the planned hallway was littered with sawdust, wood offcuts, concrete dust, and various tools and other detritus, so I had to pick my way down it and into the huge echoing space that would one day be the office foyer. Right now the wind was blowing through the holes where the windows would be, the familiar sound of machinery and the construction team shouting at each other filling the air.
I glanced down at my phone then hit the answer button. “Did you find anything?” I demanded without preamble.
“No,” Caleb said. “My contacts were worse than fucking useless.”
Fuck. Fuck.
I gripped the phone hard. “There must be some solution,” I growled, even as my brain provided me with one. Something lasting. Something…permanent.
“The only one I can think of would put us all in jail,” Caleb said brusquely. “Not that I’d allow Isabel’s grandmother to be hurt.”
Isabel’s grandmother. A not-so-subtle reminder of who Charlotte was to the woman he was with, making me think of my own woman. Charlotte was Rowan’s grandmother too.
Shit, what was I thinking? That’s what this feeling inside me was driving me to. This…possessive rage. Was this how my father felt about my mother? This burning need to possess and control, so strong that he was willing to kill someone for it?
“No, Atlas,” Caleb growled, even though I hadn’t said anything.
“It’s my kid,” I growled back as if he didn’t know that already.
“Chill the fuck out. We’ll find something.”
I paced over to one side of the concrete hallway and turned, pacing back the other way, my brain going flat out, turning over the options. “Easy for you to say. It’s not your ass on the line,” I said.
“Why the fuck did you volunteer for this bullshit in the first place?” It was as much an ‘I told you so’ as I’d ever heard from him, which I did not appreciate one bit.
“You know why I volunteered,” I snapped. “I was helping Ten and I thought….”
“You weren’t going to turn into a fucking monster at the thought of your child being taken?”
I didn’t dignify that with an answer, because of course I’d thought that.
“Look,” Caleb said after a moment. “I’d probably feel the same way about it, but the fact remains that we need to be smart about this. So taking an illegal option will not be in our favor.”
“I know that.” I turned and paced again. “But I need to think of something fast because Charlotte’s going to start issuing demands once she’s figured out that we’ve been trying to avoid the doctor’s appointments she’s setting up. And then once she finds out Rowan’s pregnant, I wouldn’t be surprised if she decides Rowan’s better off where she can keep an eye on her.” I stopped mid-pace. “And if that happens…” I didn’t finish, but I didn’t need to. The darkness in my voice said it all. If that happened, all bets were off. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to keep Rowan and my child safe where they belonged. With me.
“I get it,” Cal said. “The nuclear option. If Rowan is anything like Isabel, I’m sure she’d love that.”
I gave a mirthless laugh. Rowan would probably kill me if I did something stupid like locking her up in a tower for the rest of her life while I stood guard by the door. As it was she was getting impatient with me insisting she stay in the loft for her own safety, arguing about being ‘trapped’ there.
I couldn’t let her out, though. I couldn’t risk her or the baby being taken by Charlotte. The thought ate away at my guts like acid, a gnawing pain that I couldn’t get rid of.
“An understatement,” I muttered, then decided to change the subject. “We good for tonight?”
The only thing that had been keeping me from going completely batshit crazy had been Rowan’s suggestion the day before, the fantasy I’d told her about. It had been lurking in the back of my mind for a couple of weeks now, but I hadn’t wanted to push her, or let the thought of it distract me from what was going on with Charlotte. So Rowan bringing it up herself had caught me by surprise.
I knew she viewed it as a challenge rather than something she wanted, but she’d been quite certain about it. I’d checked in again with her the night before and her blue eyes had been clear and very direct when she’d said that yes, she wanted to do this for me.
I didn’t much care for the idea of her leaving the loft to go to Arcadia, but that was the most logical and safest venue outside of my place. Cal would make sure everything was organized properly and his security would be second to none. There wasn’t much of a risk involved with Rowan’s safety, which obviously was my priority. She’d no doubt enjoy getting out of the loft too.
You shouldn’t be holding her so tightly.
I knew that, but right now I didn’t have a choice, not with the threat of Charlotte hanging over us. It also wasn’t lost on me that perhaps indulging in my sexual fantasy now wasn’t the best timing in the world, and that it could wait. But I needed something to quell the constantly hungry beast inside me, and maybe claiming her in front of an audience would do it.
“Yeah, it’s organized,” Cal said. “Short notice, but I think attendance will be good. There was a lot of interest.” He gave a short laugh. “I probably need to organize more of them.”
“Ten will be into it,” I said, knowing already that it wasn’t Cal’s thing, not with Isabel. “He likes a public scene.”
“Good point. He might want to come and bring Zara. You okay with him being there?”
“Sure,” I said, because I was fine with it. More than fine. Ten was a judgy sort, no matter what he said, and I had a point to prove. Rowan’s participation would put his doubts to rest. “He can do some reconnaissance, show Zara what it’s all about. She might like it.”
“Okay,” Cal said briskly. “You and Rowan come a bit earlier so we can get everything set up and you can view the room.”
I confirmed the time, hit the end button, then called Rowan.
“Atlas,” she said on answering, and I was pleased with the breathlessness in her voice.
“You still okay with tonight, beauty?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Good, because I’ve just confirmed everything with Cal. We’ll get there a bit earlier so we can check the room.”
“Um, would you mind if I got there before you?” she asked. “Perhaps if I could meet you there?”
“No,” I said automatically, every muscle in my body tensing. “Absolutely fucking not.” There was a silence and I knew she wasn’t happy with that, but I didn’t say anything more. It was a flat out no and she should understand why.
“You’re being ridiculous,” she said, sounding annoyed.
“Your safety and the safety of my baby are not ridiculous and I don’t give a fucking damn if they are anyway.”
“ Our baby,” she said warningly. “Not just yours.”
“Rowan, I’m not arguing with you about this. I said no and that’s final. You come with me and or not at all.”
This time the silence at the other end of the phone was seething. “You’re going to have to loosen the grip you have on me at some point,” she said at last. “I’m not an object. I’m a person and if you hold me too hard, I’m going to suffocate.”
Some part of me, some part way down deep was telling me that history was going to repeat itself if I wasn’t careful, that if I held on too hard I’d kill what I was trying so hard to protect, but I ignored it.
Maybe this was all about myself and my fear for her safety, but it wasn’t the same as my mother and father. Rowan was stronger than Mom had ever been and I wasn’t my father. I wasn’t.
“We’ll talk about this later,” I said. “When I come back home once I’m done here.”
“You know,” she said tartly. “This is not putting me in the mood for a public sex show.”
I gritted my teeth. “I’ll put you in the mood. Don’t worry.”
There was another silence.
Then she ended the call.