Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“RUN LIKE A RIVER” BY JAMICA
IRIS
I can feel the tension radiating off of Nik as soon as he comes back into the house, his hands trembling.
“What’s wrong?” I ask from my place on the sofa.
My heartbeat pounds in my ears at all the things it might be.
I hate that my go-to is so extreme, but I feel like we’re living on the edge, waiting for the axe to fall.
Rowan’s arms snake around my waist, tugging me into his side as we wait for Nik’s reply.
Nik looks at me, his brows deeply furrowed, and exhales a slow breath. “I need you to keep calm, Iris, okay? Please, Moye Solntse .” He comes towards me, crouching down in front of me and taking my slightly trembling hands in his.
“What. Happened. Nik?” The words are hissed through clenched teeth, anger flaring hot and bright inside me.
I hate being treated like I’m so fucking fragile.
I’ve survived things that would break most people and did break me for a time, but I came back stronger.
I know he’s just concerned because of the baby and this preeclampsia diagnosis, but I need him, need them to trust that I won’t crumple.
“Hunter was shot, but he’s okay,” Nik informs me softly, but I can see by the tight skin around his eyes that he’s worried.
My stomach swoops at his words, like I’ve just dropped thirty feet into nothingness and have yet to land.
“It was clean through and through, didn’t hit anything vital, and Andrei has already patched him up and they’re on their way back. ”
“Shit,” Bubby hisses from the other side of the room, his eyes wide.
“Fuck,” Roman rasps from beside me, his arm coming around to hold me close. “I’m sure he’s okay, Princess. It’s Daddy Hunt. One bullet would never be enough.”
I take in their words, let them settle the panic that threatens to overtake me. I can handle this, and I inhale deeply once, letting it out slowly, then repeating until my pulse calms.
“Okay, how long until they get back? Is there anything we can do to help?” I ask, proud of how composed my voice is. Approval shines in Nik’s eyes, and he brings my hands up to his lips, placing a kiss on the back of each one.
“Well, you need to eat first and we need to check your blood pressure,” he tells me, his voice stern, and although I want to argue, I know that in order to show I’m not fragile, I need to take care of myself first.
“I’ll go keep a lookout for the boat,” Bubby states, looking at Nik for confirmation. Nik nods, so the teen gets up, grabbing his phone before heading out the front door.
“Rowan, can you go with him?” I ask, not wanting anyone going off by themselves, especially not Bubby. I feel responsible for him, even though I know he’d hate it.
“Of course, Lamb,” Rowan replies, kissing my lips softly, then getting up and heading out after Bubby.
“I’ll make us something to eat, Princess,” Roman states, placing a kiss on top of his brother’s on my lips before he, too, gets up and heads to the kitchen area.
Nik’s thumbs caress my knuckles, drawing my attention back to him.
“How are you doing, Dorogaya ?” he questions, his tone so sweet that finally I let the tears fill my eyes.
“I’m scared, Nik. I want to be strong, to show you I’m not so breakable, but the hits just keep on coming and I’m so fucking scared.” My voice cracks at the end of my confession, hot tears spilling down my cheeks.
“Oh, Moye Solntse . You are the strongest person in this fucking room. Stronger than any of us with what you’ve had to survive,” he tells me, leaning forward and gathering me into his arms. “And I’m learning that it’s okay to lean on others every so often.
We won’t think less of you, or that you can’t handle anything.
I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like that.
I just worry. Ya tebia Lyublu . I love you. ”
“I love you too, Nik. So much. Always have,” I tell him back, my tears slowing down. “But I need you all to know that I won’t crumple, that I can handle things without falling apart. Even if I need you to hold me every so often.”
“And we will hold you then and so many more times, Malyshka .”
He pulls back, just enough to slide his lips to mine, and I open for him immediately. Nik has always been my safe place, my refuge from anything that was scary. We have such a history together, so much time together that inevitably, we would end up here, in each other’s arms.
We pull apart only when the need to breathe becomes too much, both of our chests rising and falling rapidly with our breaths.
“Food’s almost ready,” Roman calls, and I can hear the amusement in his tone. “Just thought I should warn you guys. Wouldn’t want it to get cold if the heat turns up back there.”
I giggle, a lightness filling me even if the worry is still there for Hunter and his wound, but I suppose there’s nothing I can do right now, not until he gets back. Then I can fuss over him to my heart’s content.
“Come on, Solnishko . Let’s eat.” Nik gets up, holding out his hand, and I take it, letting him help to pull me up even though I don’t strictly need it.
The delicious scent of stir fry wafts over to me as I head to the table.
“Yum,” I say as Roman puts three bowls on the table, each heaped with noodles, veg, and chicken. “This smells amazing, Ro.”
“I made extra for the others, so they can reheat it or eat it cold when they get back,” he tells me, going back and grabbing some bottled water for us all, which he also sets on the table.
“You’re wonderful,” I tell him, dragging Nik with me as I go to Roman. Leaning up, I press a kiss to his lips, sighing as his hands immediately go around my ever-increasing waist, tugging me closer.
“So are you, Princess,” he murmurs against my lips. “The best fucking thing that ever happened to me. Well, maybe bar getting shot by a sexy Russian mafia prince.”
Nik huffs a laugh behind me, stepping close so that I’m sandwiched between them both. Something inside me loosens, knowing that having them close is one of the safest places in the world right now.
“I will never stop apologising for that, Lev . For hurting you.” There’s an edge of sadness, of regret in Nik’s tone, which has Roman’s face softening.
“I already forgave you, Love,” Roman replies gently, and even I squirm at the nickname.
“Yes, but I’m not sure I ever will,” Nik murmurs, and my heart hurts for him. For the guilt that he carries around from actions that were the only way forward. “Or for...”
He buries his face in my hair, and my heart thuds, knowing that he’s hinting about my time in the Petrov mansion. When he couldn’t stop Sergi from hurting me.
“None of those things are your fault, Nik,” I say, twisting in Roman’s embrace so he is at my back and Nik at my front.
“You did what you had to do to keep us safe. And yes, it was a shitty situation on both counts, but neither of us blames you. You saved us, Nik.” I take his face in my hands, lifting his head so I’m looking into those beautiful, soulful brown eyes of his. “You saved us.”
He swallows hard, his jaw working as he stares into my eyes.
“How can I forgive myself for also failing you both?” He’s pleading with me, begging me to throw him a life jacket as he drowns.
“What would have happened if you’d taken another course of action? If you’d just shot your dad at his estate full of loyal men to stop him from raping me? If you’d not pretended to kill Roman? Tell me, Nik?”
I watch as his mind races, going through scenarios, the what-ifs. He swallows again. “I most likely would have been killed and then you both would be at Sergi’s mercy, or in Roman’s case, dead.”
“See, Love,” Roman says from behind me, one of his hands leaving my waist to lay atop my hand on Nik’s cheek. “You kept us alive so that we could be together now.”
Nik lets out a slow, shuddering breath, closing his eyes and bowing his head until our foreheads touch. “I love you both so much.”
I feel Roman jolt behind me, and a smile tilts my lips upwards.
It’s somehow fitting that Nik is telling us for the first time together, now that we are so intrinsically linked.
We spend a couple of moments just holding each other, soaking in the warmth that only soulmates can have, until my stomach gives a growl and then our son gives an almighty kick that Nik feels in his solar plexus.
“Okay, we’ve kept your mother from her food for long enough.” Nik chuckles, planting a soft kiss to my cheek, then stepping away, Roman doing the same.
We sit down, them on either side of me, and eat our food in companionable silence.
There’s an undercurrent of worry, of anxiously waiting for Hunt to return so that we can see for ourselves that he’s okay.
But as I keep telling myself, I can’t do anything about that situation right now, so I try to tamper the dark thoughts.
We’re cuddled on one sofa when we hear the door, and Nik is up, standing in front of Roman and me, protecting us as he always does.
“They’re back!” Bubby calls, coming in first, his arms full of bags and followed by Rowan, similarly laden down. Dima steps through next, one of Hunter’s arms slung over his shoulder. I bet the stubborn man refused to be carried.
My breathing shortens as I catch sight of his pale face, the bandage wrapped around his stomach making my heartbeat thrash.
“Daddy?” The words slip out, sounding far more broken than I’d like, but his head snaps up, his green eyes a little dull but finding mine immediately.
“I’m okay, baby,” he says, his voice hoarse, but I barely hear him as I rush over to them, stopping just before him. I’m desperate to feel his skin, to assure myself that he really is okay, but I don’t want to hurt him.
“Let’s get him to the bedroom, and then you can touch him,” Andrei states, walking in behind Hunt and shutting the door, locking all the deadbolts.
“O–okay,” I reply, my voice shaky as my entire body trembles.