Chapter 54
54
Roman
F uck me , this is boring.
The meeting with the komissiya is dragging on, as they always do, and I find it increasingly hard to focus on the discussion. Kolya is going on about asset allocation and maintaining balance among the bratva factions, but my mind keeps drifting back to Quinn.
She was furious this morning, and the way we left things unsettled is bothering me more than I care to admit.
I can’t wait for a hiatus in the proceedings. I slip my phone out of my pocket and discreetly type a quick message under the table.
Hey, moya zhena. I’m thinking about you. Let’s talk when I get home. Love you.
I hit send and stare at the screen, willing it to buzz with an instant reply. A word or two from her would be enough to alleviate the gnawing unease that is twisting me up inside.
Nothing. My chest tightens, but I push the anxiety aside. She could be cleaning, listening to music, or asleep. Just like she said.
“Roman?” Kolya’s voice cuts through my thoughts, dragging me back to the present.
“Yes?” I look up, trying to mask my distraction.
“Your position on the casino revenue split?” he asks, his eyes narrowing slightly.
I clear my throat. It won’t do to fold immediately; that would mean I’m not paying attention.
“I agree with everyone else’s proposed percentages. Ensuring fair distribution is critical to keeping the peace, but my bratva should get more than a proportional share. Having more assets means higher maintenance and security costs. I have to factor that in.”
The men at the table start talking at once, shouting numbers at each other. I do my best to engage, but my head is all screwed up. I need to see her, to know we’re okay. I’m bent out of shape and unable to do my job because I want to make amends.
Dammit. This is love for sure.
After what feels like an age, Kolya calls a break. I seize the opportunity to find a quiet spot to check the camera feed from Quinn’s apartment.
The video loads agonizingly slowly, and I’m relieved to see her lying in bed, seemingly asleep.
It’s a tremendous comfort to know my wife is resting after her crappy night’s sleep, but it feels even better to know she hasn’t actually read my message. The thought of her ignoring me intentionally is beyond the pale.
Quinn has been through so much, and I should have seen that she needed my support more than my stubborn insistence on handling things my way. I remember how she looked this morning, her eyes flashing with anger and hurt.
I hated to leave an argument hanging between us, but I have to concede that I came on more than a bit strong from the start. She needs space, and that’s hardly surprising given my relentless occupation of her life. I need to give it to her, no matter how tough it may be for me.
The meeting reconvenes, and Kolya is still droning on when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I discreetly glance at the screen, but to my disappointment, it’s a calendar reminder about a conference with one of my legitimate business partners.
The komissiya members are deadlocked over details, so I seize the opportunity to call an adjournment for the day. The assembly agrees, and I endure the pantomime of respectful handshakes, but as soon as decorum allows, I practically bolt out of the room.
As the elevator descends, I check one last time to find no response from Quinn. I frown, a knot of worry tightening in my chest, but the camera in her bedroom shows her still napping in the same position. She must have been utterly exhausted to sleep this heavily in the daytime. Either way, I need to see her, to make sure we’re okay.
I step out of the building and into the crisp air, my determination renewed. I won’t let this fight fester any longer.
I’ll wake her if I have to, and we’ll discuss things. If I have to relinquish some control so I can keep her, I will. I don’t know how to be better for her, but I’m willing to learn.
My car arrives, prompt as ever, and I ask the driver to take me straight to Quinn’s apartment. As the city lights blur past, I contemplate how much she’s changed my life.
I was transfixed from the second I met her. Instant lust and infatuation. Asshole that I was, I forced myself into her life and spread through it like a virus, infecting every corner of her existence until there was no part of her I didn’t own.
It’s always like that with me; my way or the highway. But the girl I obsessed over is now my wife, and she’s already suffered plenty, thanks to my lack of foresight.
I can’t lose her, not now, not ever. And I won’t let anything or anyone threaten what we have.
My heart is pounding when we pull up outside her building. As I ride the elevator up to her floor, I silently vow to do whatever it takes to make things right.
“ Rusalka ,” I shout as I unlock the door to her apartment. “I’m back.”