Emails
Subject: Glass houses
Hi Pot
I’ll admit, you make some fair points. It wasn’t right of me to take my frustration out on your friend.
Would it make you feel better to know I didn’t actually intend to send that email?
I’d tell you to blame my best mate’s four-year-old daughter, whose finger hit the arrow in her eagerness to change the screen from a “boring” email to more exciting stuff on YouTube, but you already think I’m a misogynistic prick, I’d hate to throw ‘kid-hater’ into the mix.
A word of advice: you might want to get down from your high horse if you’re going to threaten to track me down and “mess me up.” Maybe you should look into those anger management classes you’ve heard good things about?
Sincerely,
Kettle
P.S. While I can appreciate you wanting to defend your friend, my sex life is none of your fucking business. And if your friend shared the details of my ex-fiancée’s email with you then she’s obviously not the stellar professional you claim her to be.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Glass houses
Okay, now I feel like a twat.
Well…maybe just a little bit. You’re still King Twat, just to be clear.
But I shouldn’t have shamed you about the sex thing. That wasn’t cool. Everyone has different feelings and preferences when it comes to sex and they’re all completely valid (I mean, as long as there’s consent).
And…. argh it’s genuinely killing me to say this because I still think you’re a tosser and everything, but in all honesty, if the only reason your girl dumped you was because you weren’t that into sex then that’s on her.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Glass houses
Wow, someone’s doing backflips to make themselves as PC as possible…
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Glass houses
Fuck you, I was being nice!
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Glass houses
?? Why do I get the impression “nice” isn’t your natural setting?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Glass houses
Guess it takes a prick to know a prick ?????♂?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Glass houses
Wait…you’re a guy?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Glass houses
You’re surprised?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Glass houses
Umm…I feel like if I say yes I’m going to get yelled at again. Something about making assumptions and jumping to conclusions. I’m sure the M word will be thrown around again…
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Glass houses
Well, you get points for self-awareness at least ??