Emails
Subject: AAARRGGGHH
Is there anyone in your life that you just CANNOT STAND to be around? Even just the sound of their name makes you agitated because they are SUCH A FUCKING WAMKER!!
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
You mean apart from you? ?? Yeah, I could name a few. So, who is this person? What did they do to earn your eternal wrath?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
Just a guy. My ex’s brother. Has to be the most irritating arsehole on the planet.
You’d think the one silver lining of this break-up would be never having to see him again, right?
Wrong! The guy is fucking EVERYWHERE! It’s driving me insane!
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
Ahhh, I get it.
You want to fuck him.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
WHAT?? No! I DO NOT want to fuck him!
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
Of course, you do! Why else would he be getting under your skin so badly?
Is he fit?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
He’s a fucking prick!
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
I’ll take that as a yes ??
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
You’re an arsehole. You know that, right?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
It’s been established
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
I DO NOT want to fuck him.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
Ahh so you want HIM to fuck YOU? ??
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
I hate you.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
?? Someone’s in a particularly bad mood tonight. Is this just sexual frustration or is there more to the story?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
Just a bad night. Stuck at a party with people I really don’t want to socialise with. They keep giving me these looks of pity and telling me to ‘hang in there’ as though my engagement ending is some kind of terminal disease ??
Oh, and I just saw Chelsea got trounced by Spurs to cap off the shittiness.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
Eww gross! You’re a Chelsea fan?? I knew there was a reason I hated you so much ??
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
Let me guess…Arsenal? You seem like that kind of arsehole
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
Arsenal?? Fuck no!! You owe me some serious grovelling for such an outrageous and offensive assumption!
I’M FOREVER BLOWING BUBBLES
PRETTY BUBBLES IN THE AIR
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
West Ham? Seriously?? ??
I’d offer to grovel with head, but the mere thought is making me gag and not in a good way
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: AAARRGGGHH
I wouldn’t want your gross Chelsea mouth around my cock anyway