Chapter Seventeen
Pacino
Waking up spooning Phoebe feels remarkably good. Better than I thought it would.
Her body presses against my front, and I’m hard and wanting her something fierce. I try to shift to keep from waking her with my erection, but I fail when her hand reaches behind us to grab my hip.
“Sorry—”
“Can we try this again?” Phoebe asks, looking back over her shoulder. “Now that you know why I pretended before and am no longer drunk. Or hungover.”
Her tattoo and not knowing what caused it still bothers me, but I know how it feels to have someone press for secrets you aren’t ready to share. “You want me?”
Grabbing my hand, she slides it over her belly where her shirt has ridden up and down over her panties. I feel how wet she is, and I slip my fingers beneath the fabric, smirking as she moans.
“One request,” she whispers.
“What’s that?”
“Can we take the panties off rather than just move them to the side?”
I snort and kiss her shoulder. “How about we get fully naked instead?”
“I have a confession,” she says, turning, which forces my hand away from between her legs. “I’ve been dying to know what you look like without clothes. Feeling is all I get, and there’s usually a shirt—or two—in the way.”
We’re not naked yet, and my anxiety kicks up having her hazel eyes on me. Looking at my face. But I want this. I want to give her more than I have anyone since Jo.
“Your wish is my command, Yellow Crayon.”
When I stand to pull off my shirt, she holds a hand out to stop me. “Wait.”
“You decided you don’t want to see me anymore?”
It both bothers and relieves me. I want her to see me but not at the same time. Yep, I’d say I’m all sorts of fucked up.
“Oh, I do,” she reassures me with a soft smile, “but I need to know the boundaries.”
“Boundaries?”
Climbing onto her knees, Phoebe sits back on her feet and folds her hands in her lap. She looks like a beautiful submissive like this in just her T-shirt and panties, and I ache. “You don’t like being looked at. How does this work?”
I stare at her as my chest tightens. Fuck me. I fucked up. How could I not see that Phoebe’s the only one who would come crashing through all of my walls like Miley Cyrus and her fucking wrecking ball?
“Tucker?”
Shaking my head, I force a smile. “Sorry.”
“Is it your entire body? Or is it an eye contact thing? Do you want me to just peek and then turn my back?”
This woman wants to give me what I need without any resentment in her tone. She wants me to take her, and she wants to keep me in my comfort zone.
“You can look as long as you want, Yellow Crayon.”
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I will be, but I want you to see me. I don’t want you to have to imagine me from just touch.”
She smiles up at me, and I want more than just this moment with her. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.
“Afterward, do you want me to go back to my room?”
Her room? Even the idea of not having her beside me as I sleep makes me angry. “No.”
Never again.
Tilting her head, she studies me. And for the first time, I don’t feel the buzzing beneath my skin I can’t handle. “You want me to sleep in here?”
“I’m breaking all my rules for you, Yellow Crayon. When we’re done making each other come, we’re going to… cuddle.”
Her eyes widen, as does her smile, and her breathing picks up. Watching her small tits rising and falling rapidly while her nipples turn to pebbles beneath the soft fabric confirms it: I want this.
“Can I take my clothes off now and show you what you’ve been taking?”
Nodding, she bites her lower lip and watches with anticipation as I peel off my shirt. She’s so damn adorable and sexy at the same time. I don’t know how I ever thought I’d be able to resist her.
She’s my complete opposite. The sunshine to my rainy skies.
And the person I need most in my life.
My erection tents in my boxers, and I step out of them, my cock springing up to point at her. Her mouth opens in a gasp, and I itch to know what her mouth feels like. Those soft, luscious lips wrapped around my dick…
Swallowing, she shifts to slip off her panties before pulling her shirt over her head. I lie on the bed, taking in the sight of her naked, and I lick my lips. She’s perfect.
Small but supple tits with hard, pink nipples. A flat tummy with a landing strip to her fun zone. But then my eyes land on the small tattoo on her hip, and I can’t tear my gaze away.
All I want to do is take away all her pain. Whatever happened to earn that Medusa head never should have happened. And if whoever did this to her is still alive, I’ll kill him with my bare fucking hands.
“Don’t look at it,” Phoebe says, her voice soft but husky.
“It’s hard not to.”
“Can I… Can I touch you?”
That works. Giving her a nod, I smirk. “Baby, you can do just about anything you want.”
“Anything?”
Her pink tongue slides along the seam of her lips, and my breathing hitches. “Anything.”
Phoebe kneels at my left hip, our bodies forming a perfect right angle. Bending forward, she slowly kisses along the scar on my chest. It begins at my left shoulder and slices down below my right pec. A continuation of my cheek.
The kisses burn as I think about how we got here, but I can’t tear my eyes away. I can only stare at her, mesmerized.
Small hands take hold of me, and I moan, no longer thinking about the burn of my skin. It takes all my strength not to thrust up into her hands to pick up the pace while she strokes in slow motions.
Even though I feel like I might die with how badly I want her.
“If something isn’t okay, tell me.”
Her eyes lock with mine, and I can’t speak. Can’t breathe. It’s the first time in over a decade that I’ve looked into another woman’s eyes while naked. All I can do is nod, and I hate the relief that takes over when she turns away from my face.
Baby steps. At least I’m not retreating.
It’ll take some getting used to. Having her look at me while my cock is in her hands, but it’ll get—
“Fuck!” I cry out as her lips wrap around my tip, her hand continuing to stroke my shaft. “I forgot how good it feels to have a sexy woman’s mouth on me.”
Reaching out, I massage her back, her body bent at my hip, and I can’t remember ever been had this way.
And I fucking love it. She sucks me, alternating between taking me deep into the back of her throat and focusing on just the tip as her hand works my shaft.
And the moan of delight she gives? Fucking heaven.
Watching her enjoy this sends me to another level of desire. It’s not something I expected with Phoebe, but nothing that’s happened between us has been expected. This woman is a constant surprise, and I almost curse myself out loud as the orgasm hits without warning.
It sneaks up on me, and I wish I’d had time to warn her before shooting my load into her throat. But if it bothers her, she doesn’t let it show. In fact, she sucks as I come, drawing out everything I have to offer before she swallows, making me jolt with a final shot of pleasure.
“Fuck, that was good,” I say, rubbing my chest with my right hand while I continue massaging her back with my left.
She sits up and smiles, but her eyes don’t move past my shoulders. The familiar itch twinges but fades quickly. I need to see her. To watch her see me.
“Look at me.”
She obeys, and the anxiety kicks up again, but it doesn’t last too long. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“Sorry I didn’t warn you. It kind of surprised me.”
Blushing, she bites her lower lip. “It’s okay.
I liked it. You have no idea how much I want to make you feel good, Tucker.
I want you to feel as good as you make me feel when we’re together.
” She frowns and furrows her brow. “I didn’t mean that to sound as sexual as it came out.
When I’m around you in general, not just when you’re inside me… I’m going to just stop talking now.”
I grab her leg and flip her onto her back, and her surprised laughter makes me happy.
Holy shit.
I’m actually happy.
“That was kind of fun,” Phoebe says with another giggle.
“Yellow Crayon, please don’t ever stop talking. It makes me do crazy things, like get you drunk,” I murmur as I spread her legs apart.
She opens her mouth to say something, but it turns into a gasp as I dive down and taste her. I haven’t gone down on a woman since Jo, but it’s like riding a bike. And it doesn’t take much to figure out what Phoebe likes. Her gasps and writhing beneath me gives it away.
“Tucker,” she pants, her fingers massaging my scalp like I did her back. Tingles spread down my spine, and she shifts her hips, taking what she needs from my mouth. “Oh, right there. Right there.”
God, she tastes so fucking sweet, and I can’t get enough of her little mewls. The sound of her desperately seeking her orgasm as I suck and lick and swirl my tongue sends me to the moon and back.
Her thighs tremble on either side of my cheeks, and I know she’s close. I dip two fingers inside, moaning at her heat. No wonder I drown in my desire for her. Not only is she the sweetest woman I’ve ever met, she’s also so fucking sexy without knowing it.
“Yes!” Phoebe cries out, squeezing my face with her thighs. “Oh God, yes!”
Her pussy clenches around my fingers as I continue to fuck her until she’s finished. I just want to live here, but my cock is hard and aching again. I want her. I want to watch her as I enter her, and I want to see how she looks when she comes.
Removing my fingers, I move up her body and smile down at her face as she pants, her hands on her chest with her legs spread wide. “Happy?”
“So much,” she says. “You’re good at that.”
And she strokes my ego as well as my cock? Perfect fucking woman.
She looks at me with confusion as I hover over her, but I need to do this. I need to get past the pain and the fear.
“Tucker?”
Lifting her leg up to my hip, I ease into her, forcing my eyes to stay open as her mouth opens in a gasp. She feels different from this angle, and I fight the itching beneath my skin telling me to flip her over and take her from behind. Turn her away from me.
No, I can do this. I have to do this.
Being with another woman like this, feeling the feelings I am, isn’t betraying Jo.
In fact, I think Jo would have picked Phoebe for me.
The determined, frustratingly happy, and incredibly sweet woman who wears her heart on her sleeve even though she’s been through hell, too, to bring me back to life after being the walking dead for so many years.
My mouth crashes onto hers as I roll my hips and let her taste herself on her tongue. My saltiness mixes with her sweetness, and I’m lightheaded. Almost drunk.
She moans and matches me thrust for thrust, and I’m glad I told the voices in my head to fucking shut up. This is as close to heaven as I’ve gotten in a long time.
“Tucker,” she pants, pulling her mouth away from mine. My eyes lock with hers, and she gives me a soft, grateful smile. “Oh, Tucker.”
“Come for me, Yellow Crayon.”
I slip my hand between us to help rub her to the finish line, loving how she gasps and arches her back. My hips move faster and harder, driving her further over the edge. She grips my forearms, her nails digging in and leaving little indents.
Her back arches, and her mouth hangs open. I’m pretty sure her eyes roll to the back of her head, and I can’t imagine a better sight right now.
“Baby,” I grit out, thrusting twice more before letting her pussy milk me. “Fuck.”
“Wow,” she says when I pull out and fall onto the bed beside her. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fucking fantastic,” I say, closing my eyes as I focus on the high I’m slowly coming down from. “I forgot how good it can be.”
My eyes open as she runs the back of her hand over my cheek. “I was worried it would be too much for you.”
Pulling her into my arms, I kiss her. “It was, but I wanted it. Needed it.”
“I don’t want you to be scared of me,” she whispers before softly kissing me. “I’ll do whatever you need me to, Tucker. If it’s too much, we’ll adjust.”
Damn it, she takes my breath away. All I can do is hold her, skin against skin, and I think maybe I’ve been holding out for Phoebe. The only person persistent enough to break the spell and tear down the walls I’ve built up to protect myself.
Yep, I’m fucked. Totally and completely fucked in the best way possible.