Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Belle
The air seems to shift around us, tension building as Knox’s sage scent surrounds me. His eyes glaze over with hunger, and he looks ready to take me as his prey.
He’s letting his alpha take over.
We probably aren’t making the safest choice. I’ve heard about the dangers of a rut since I was in school. And the two of us in a library of precious books, when Knox is an unbonded alpha, make this especially risky.
I just hope that I can contain whatever is about to happen enough to ensure we don’t destroy the room. I would hate to disappoint Percy by turning his book collection into a casualty.
But I trust Knox.
Even though I got my memory back, nothing has changed about my feelings. I know who I am now, and I still want him. I want the whole pack, really, but a girl has to start somewhere.
Knox carefully sets me on my feet, his chest heaving and muscles trembling as he moves. I can see the toll it takes on him to put me down gently, the man beneath the alpha fighting to keep up a last semblance of being a gentleman before he breaks completely.
I want to be a safe place for him, no matter what state of mind he’s in. I know that despite wearing his solitude like armor, he’s the head of this pack for a reason. He doesn’t seem the type to have fought for dominance to assert himself, but rather the kind of alpha who makes sure everyone is taken care of.
Even if it means sacrificing his own moments of happiness to take care of everyone else.
Not anymore.
I don’t want him to keep sacrificing himself for the good of the pack or me. If I’m going to be their omega–if I’m going to be his –then I need to make space for all of him.
Especially in moments like this.
Knox’s breathing is growing shallow, and his whole body is taut. There’s no going back. He’s out of control, something I don’t imagine he has much experience with. If I can prove I can take care of him through this, then maybe… I think I can prove that staying here is a real possibility and not just a hopeful daydream.
I don’t like even the few inches of space he’s tried to put between us. I move slowly, deliberately, to inch back up to him. I know if I move too quickly, he might think I’m going to run and gear up to chase me.
I’m never going to run from him. Not even from his rut.
His chest rises and falls as he inhales deeply, drawing in gulps of my scent.
My pulse is racing, but I manage to keep my voice steady to tell him, “I’m here. You don’t have to hold back anymore.”
He snaps, dropping his head to fuse our mouths together. His kiss is raw, messy, and hungry. We explore each other roughly. I want this almost as much as he needs it.
His hands grab my hips roughly, pulling me flush against him.
My fingers tremble as I unbutton the flannel I borrowed, baring my skin. The sight elicits a growl from Knox.
“Say I can have you,” he rasps with desperation. “Say you’re mine.”
“I’m yours, Alpha,” I say, shattering whatever restraint he has left.
His mouth begins to explore everywhere. Over my neck and collarbone, down my chest. Guiding me back towards the edge of Percy’s desk.
“Need you,” he pleads in a pained voice. His words barely sound like him.
“Show me what you want from me, Knox.”
I feel no shame for the whimper I let out as he turns me around and bends me over the desk. Papers scatter, books slide, but all I can focus on is the heat of him behind me.
Thank goodness the shorts I borrowed are loose because he drags them down my legs like he’s offended by their presence.
I peek over my shoulder, trying to see what he’s doing. There’s no telling what to expect at a time like this, but I guess I assumed he’d go straight to trying to knot or bite and claim me. I was prepared to avoid a bite.
I wasn’t prepared to see him crouching on his knees.
When I spied on Percy and him in the kitchen the other night, I couldn’t see what Knox looked like in this position. The first thing I notice now is that he doesn’t seem any less dominant from this perspective. There’s nothing submissive about him right now.
He spreads me with his thumbs and presses his face between my thighs like he belongs there.
I flinch from being caught off guard, causing him to release a low growl of warning. He clamps his fingers around my hips to hold me to him as he uses his mouth on me.
“Stay still. Let me taste what’s mine, Omega.”
Even if his voice wasn’t filled with the bark of an alpha, I would still comply.
He works me with his mouth like a man possessed, each movement of his tongue precise and ruthless. I’m shaking by the time he rises, slick dripping down my thighs.
His length rests between my ass cheeks as he grinds himself against me. “I’m going to fuck you now, Omega.”
“Please,” I beg breathlessly.
Knox keeps one hand on my hip and puts the other between my shoulder blades, holding me down on the desk. He doesn’t keep me waiting long, lining himself up and thrusting deep, all the way to the base of his knot in one fluid motion.
“Oh, fuck.” The momentum pushes me forward, but his hands quickly stop me from going far.
He snarls, “Stay still and take what I give you.”
There’s no bark to his words to suggest he’s making an order. My Knox is still in there, leaving space for me to wiggle my way out of this if I wanted. He won’t force me to do anything that I don’t want to do.
All the more reason for me to trust him in this.
I’ve never experienced an alpha in rut, but I’ve heard stories. Sometimes they bite whoever they’re fucking, forcing a bond that shouldn’t have happened.
Knox doesn’t put his teeth anywhere near me, letting me know that all of this is still on my terms.
My body adjusts the roughness of being too full quickly, letting me enjoy the snap of his hips over and over. His rhythm is almost punishing in the best way.
Rough. Hard. Unrelenting. Each thrust drives me further across the desk, making the wood creak and groan. The initial burn has faded into bliss, every drag of his hips pushing me closer to the edge.
“Could breed you,” he pants. “Stuff you full, knot you, mark you. Make sure everyone knows who you belong to.”
The words should terrify me, but they don’t.
I’m on birth control, so I’m not worried at all. Thank fuck I can remember details of who I am again and recall my medical history. This wouldn’t be quite so exhilarating if I was stuck in the middle of nowhere without knowing I have the proper protection for being fucked seven ways to Sunday.
He still doesn’t make any move to bite me, even as he pants out his fantasies. Nice to hear where his head is at. Anything could be possible in the future once we iron out some details…
Knox moves his hand from between my shoulders to the back of my neck, gripping me with just enough pressure to send me spiraling into an orgasm so strong that my vision gets spotty.
“Be a good little omega,” he groans, hips stuttering. “Take my cum.”
I do, letting him fill me up while his knot rubs me temptingly from the outside.
I’m a little disappointed that he didn’t give it to me, but I know it’s for the best. We still have a lot to figure out.
After a few moments, which I spend focusing on some intense breathing exercises, reality begins to sink in.
Knox slips out of me, and I whimper at the loss.
His breathing begins to settle. Slowly. Unevenly. Like someone waking from a fever dream.
I keep my hands braced on the desk, unsure whether to move or speak. Instinct tells me not to startle him with the haze of his rut still lingering. But after a moment, I can feel the shift in the air.
“Belle?” His voice is hoarse. Shaky.
I turn my head just enough to make eye contact. His forehead is wrinkled with concern, his gaze sharp with awareness. Knox is back in charge, his satisfied alpha stepping back to let him retake control.
The concern in his expression spurs me to move. I turn myself gingerly to face him, remaining propped against the edge of the desk for support because my body feels a bit like a limp noodle.
“You didn’t hurt me,” I reassure him. “It was perfect.”
He leans down to press his face into the crook of my shoulder. He stays like that for a minute before he gathers himself enough to speak.
“I’ve never let go like that before. Not with anyone,” his voice cracks, vulnerability seeping in.
“I know. That’s why I let you.” I tilt my head so that I can press my lips to his temple, desperate to reassure him that I’m truly not upset.
Even in the midst of a rut, he was unbelievably careful with me.
Knox wraps his arms around my waist, his touch protective and anchoring. He holds me so tightly it’s like he needs to reassure himself that I’m still here.
I would be content to stay like this forever, if we could. And we do stay connected in the embrace for so long that I lose track of time.
Until an unexpected guest clears their throat, startling us apart.
When I look toward the doorway, Percy meets my gaze with an easygoing smile from where he stands lounging against the door frame. Unlike the sexy way Knox lit my body on fire, my body is now on fire in a much more mortifying way as I realize we’ve been caught being intimate in Percy’s workspace.
“I am so sorry,” I choke out as I scramble to stand up and face the consequences of my actions.
Instead of consequences, Percy throws his head back with a deep laugh and then waves off my apology. “What are you even apologizing for?”
“Having sex with Knox in your library...” I mumble under my breath as quickly as I can get the words out.
“Nonsense.” Percy is completely calm. “This house is meant to be enjoyed. Some of us might spend more time in some spaces than others, but this cabin is for sharing.”
Sharing rooms and sharing me.
Knox chuckles under his breath behind me. When I glance back, he’s looking at me with a knowing smirk as if he can read my thoughts. As connected as I felt to him while he fucked me, I wouldn’t be surprised if he suddenly developed the power to read my mind.
“Now that you two are done, though, we should get in the kitchen and start on breakfast. Rhys isn’t awake yet. If we move fast enough, we might get a halfway decent meal together before he can get hold of the spice rack.”
That’s enough motivation to get our asses into gear, and Knox and I both manage to wrangle ourselves back into our clothes in record time. Our more feral needs are satiated... for now.
Percy leaves to head to the kitchen. Before Knox can follow, I touch his arm for him to wait a second.
“I have a favor to ask.” I nip at my bottom lip anxiously, knowing that I’m pushing my luck with what I’m about to ask.
“Whatever you need,” he says instantly.
“Can we wait to tell the others about my memory?” I see the hesitation in his answering frown and hurry to continue, “Just until this afternoon. I’m still adjusting, and I’m not ready to answer a million questions yet.
Knox might not have asked many, but I know Rhys and Percy are more likely to grill me about my mostly returned memory.
“Okay,” Knox begrudgingly agrees. He puts an arm around my shoulder to lead me out, and I’m relieved we don’t have to have more of a conversation about this.
Once everyone knows my memory is back, things might start to change. This morning, I want to enjoy my time with the alphas before we have to face reality. Who wouldn’t want to live in their fantasy for as long as possible before reality creeps in?