Chapter 11
11
Hazel
As we landed, I spotted the sun melting into the Pacific Ocean in a mottled swath of oranges, pinks, and crimson that made the blue waters shimmer.
I’d missed seeing the sun disappearing into the horizon, and watching it from high above, a sense of rightness filled my chest.
Once the plane touched down, we all disembarked. There was a massive black SUV waiting for us on the tarmac a few feet from the steps that had been rolled up alongside the private jet.
Crew left first, arriving at the bottom and shaking hands with the man waiting by the car and one of the private airfield attendants. I was still half asleep as I trudged down the stairs and climbed into the very back row of seating in the vehicle. Kellan scrambled into the back with me, and I exhaled a long breath as I snuggled into his side for the ride.
Now this was the kind of backseat ride with an alpha I wanted.
I drifted in and out of sleep, the encroaching darkness making the roads of my past unfamiliar. It wasn’t until we made a turn down a long drive with massive gates at the front and a separate guardhouse that I sat up.
I frowned, looking around. “Where are we?”
“Home,” Crew answered from the front passenger seat as the driver pressed a button to lower his window.
I peered through the windshield and vaguely recognized the lamps illuminating the drive as ones that had led to my house, once upon a time. I stayed quiet until the guard standing outside finished talking to Crew and the driver before waving us to move forward.
As the wrought-iron gates opened, I spoke up. “That’s new.”
Crew twisted in his seat with a tight smile. “My parents bought up the last of the land in this area a year after you were taken. There’s… well, you’ll see. We’ll have plenty of time for a tour once you’re settled.”
I nodded and leaned against Kellan, watching for the moment the SUV turned the corner that split the driveway between the Dutton mansion and the home I’d grown up in. I’d figured we’d be staying with Crew’s family, but when the car turned left toward my childhood home, my breath caught.
Kellan took my hand. “You okay, Haze?”
I licked my lips, butterflies flapping in my belly as I stared at the house ahead.
I wasn’t sure what I’d expected, but seeing the home I’d grown up in all lit up and inviting, like my parents were waiting for me to come back in after a football game, was almost too much.
A whine broke free, sending all eyes to me as I stared out the window, my past and present colliding in a way that left me feeling utterly unmoored.
“Talk to me,” Kellan demanded, unbuckling me and lifting me onto his lap.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Rhett admonished gently, stroking my hair.
Jude’s dark eyes were big. “We don’t have to stay here, baby.”
“No,” I murmured. “I want to go inside. I just… Wow. I wasn’t ready for the emotions.” I pressed a hand over my heart, trying to catch my breath.
“Baby girl,” Crew started, looking ready to order the driver to take me the opposite way.
“I’ll be okay,” I insisted, shoving down the tide of my raw emotions as they swelled and ebbed.
Sighing, Crew pushed open his door, everyone exiting the car until it was just Kellan and me left inside.
“You’re sure?” Kellan pressed.
I laid my hand against the side of his face, his beard tickling my palm. “I’m sure. Let’s go.”
Kellan released me to scramble out of the back, and Crew had taken my hand in his before my feet touched the grass.
Standing up, I stared at the large home in front of me. Some might’ve considered it a mansion—I mean, it was huge by normal standards—but compared to the Dutton Estate nearly a hundred yards to the right, it might as well have been a cottage.
Looking at the two homes side by side was almost comical. The Dutton Estate was easily three times the size of my childhood home, but the styles were done so that the architecture seamlessly flowed together.
With the French inspired lines, Dutton Estate looked like a fairytale castle, while the home I’d grown up in looked like a country palace.
The beige limestone walls and nearly black roof contrasted beautifully. The circular drive was paved with bricks imported from a small province in Italy. The glass of the doors and windows caught the outside lights, reflecting them back into the darkness.
My mother and Elizabeth Dutton had designed these houses when Upshine Media took off. Our families were best friends, and I knew the senior Pack Dutton considered my parents part of their extended pack.
“It looks the same,” I finally managed, my gaze landing on the set of double doors with a glass and a black wrought iron design that matched the front gates and the doors leading into the Dutton Estate.
Crew held my hand tighter. “My parents made sure the house stayed in good shape in case you ever came back for it.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “Can we go inside?”
“Of course,” Crew answered with a quick, but somewhat worried, smile.
“What’s that face?” I demanded, knowing Crew well enough to know he was hiding something.
He let out a loaded breath. “After you’d been gone for a while, my mom had all your family’s stuff boxed up and sent to a storage facility. Your uncle made a mess in a few rooms, so Mom had everything repainted fresh and most of the carpets replaced. Hardwoods were refinished, too.”
I flinched, remembering how frantic Uncle Henry had been to get me out of the house and on the road. I knew now that he’d likely been looking for every last penny buried in the couch cushions to give to the APA along with me.
But it also helped to know I wouldn’t be bitch-slapped by images of the past when I walked in. That I wouldn’t open the door to my dad’s office and see the mini bar with a special glass decanter of iced tea he kept just for me to feel like a grown up as a little girl. Even when I’d become a teenager, we often ‘shared a drink’ while breaking down my day.
I wouldn’t be haunted by the scent of Mom’s perfume lingering on the walls of her bedroom. Or see all the artfully placed family photos we’d taken over the years.
“Remind me to thank your mother.”
A muscle in Crew’s jaw flexed. “You’re not upset?”
I turned to face him, aware the rest of the pack was silently waiting for my response. “No. The last thing I need is the home I grew up in, frozen in time like some weird shrine to everything I lost. A clean slate will be good, but I’ll also be able to look around and see my parents in places.”
Crew pushed my mostly-dried hair off my shoulder. “You’re fucking incredible, Hazel Jones.” He brushed the back of his knuckles across my cheek. “Part of my parents buying the land was also so my brothers, Calla, and I would be able to build our own homes on the property. We can do that, too.”
“Or we can stay here,” Jude added.
“It’s your choice, sugar,” was Kellan’s input.
I glanced back up at the house I’d called home for most of my life. “I want to stay here, if that’s okay.”
Crew leaned in, kissing my forehead. “Whatever you want, baby.”
With my pack surrounding me, we moved as a unit to the front door where Crew pushed it open, revealing the foyer I’d walked into more times than I could count.
It looked the same—vaulted ceilings with a large crystal chandelier hanging overhead. The bridal staircase hugged the rounded curve of the walls, the black iron rails complementing the front door. I’d stood on the ledge where they connected as a child, living out my Juliet Capulet daydreams.
All the furniture had been removed, giving the house a strangely clean feeling. No scents lingered to trick my nose into the past. It had all been scrubbed away.
“Do you want to look around?” Crew murmured.
I shook my head. “I’m tired. Can we all just… I mean, are there even beds in this place?”
Crew smiled. “Mom made sure we had some basic furniture, but everything else is a blank canvas.”
Rhett cleared his throat. “Typically, omegas like to decorate their own homes.”
It made sense. Even now my brain was whirring with ideas of what to put where to make the foyer seem more cozy and inviting.
“There’s one other thing.” Crew seemed hesitant to bring it up.
“What?” I gave him my full attention.
He gave a small sigh. “There isn’t a definitive nesting space since your parents were betas and didn’t need one. Mom and Calla went ahead and made you your own temporary nesting spot in the place they thought was best, but we can move it.”
“Or build a new nest,” Kellan added.
I considered my options. “Where’s the nest now?”
“All things considered, they thought you might want something quieter than your last nest,” Crew started, “so they moved it to your mom’s old closet.”
As soon as he said it, I knew it was the perfect place. I’d loved the room they’d given me in Montana, but my mom’s closet was big enough for a tiny bedroom with no windows and a simple skylight. The cave-like ambiance of the space felt exactly like what I needed, and I needed it now.
“Show me.”
Crew took my hand again and led me up the curved staircase to the right. Once we reached the landing, I shook my fingers free of his and walked down the hall to my parents’ old bedroom.
Hesitating when I reached the double doors that led into the master suite, I took a steadying breath. My hand curled around the shiny brass handle as I pushed the door open.
In my mind, I knew what this room was supposed to look like. I expected to see my dad’s running shoes by the door—despite my mom constantly telling him to put them away—and my mom’s crocheting chair where she was forever working on a new project.
But none of that was there.
No bed I’d stumbled into as a child after a nightmare.
No chair.
No shoes.
Just a new mattress and a boxspring with a minimal bed frame and simple glass nightstands flanking either side. The walls had been repainted a soft cream that went well with the oak hardwoods underfoot.
I walked to the space that I knew was my mom’s old closet and pulled open the door.
It was dark inside, and I felt along the inside for the light switch. Instead of the stark overhead bulbs turning on, strands of twinkle lights shimmered, illuminating the space in a golden glow that helped settle the last of my frayed nerves. The built-in shelves and island that held my mom’s accessories in the center was gone, replaced by a large mattress leaving only a one foot walkway around the exterior of the space. Blankets and pillows from my old nest in Montana covered the bed, and the smell in here was reminiscent of my pack. Not blank and sterile like the rest of the house.
Home .
This felt like home, in more ways than one.
“Baby, we really should call the doctor to check you out,” Jude spoke up, sounding worried.
“No.” I didn’t want a doctor here. I knew my body well enough to know the shallow cuts on my feet and minor bruises would heal fast enough. Luckily I’d been spared the trauma of anything worse.
“Hazel—” This time it was Kellan.
I turned and glared at my pack. “I said, no .” An unnameable energy bubbled under my skin, and I was seconds away from flying apart. I needed to soothe the innate need in my gut to settle. To make a nest worthy of our pack so we could all be together.
That was what I needed. I needed to be reminded that I was safe and our pack was whole.
Toeing off my shoes, I stepped onto the mattress and immediately sank to my knees to crawl into the middle. Without stopping to second guess or think, I started arranging the pillows and blankets.
Sitting back on my haunches to survey my work, I knew it still wasn’t right. I turned to my pack, still waiting and watching me with adoration in their eyes.
I held out a hand. “Shirts.” I needed more of their scent around me.
Amused, Crew tugged off his shirt and passed it to me before collecting the others and handing them over as well.
I draped the cotton over different spots in the nest, fussing and patting things until they were perfectly in place. Draping Kellan’s shirt over a pillow that smelled like Jude that was atop a blanket that still smelled like Crew and Rhett, I let out a softly relieved sigh.
“Perfect,” I whispered, feeling the anxiety seep away.
“Done, baby?” Jude teased from the doorway.
I turned. “No.”
Rhett looked concerned. “What do you need?”
The answer was easy. Obvious. “I need all of you in here with me.”