Chapter Twelve
When Monday rolls around, I'm still wishing I was lazing at the pack house instead of rushing around to classes. It's kind of made me crabby. I want hugs and cuddles and not sitting in a room full of strangers whose scents are rubbing my skin and my senses raw. If I hadn't bonded her son this weekend, I would go talk to Grace at the center and see if she has any ideas as to why I'm feeling like this. As it stands, I don't want to be the one to break that news to her.
By the end of practice, my skin feels like it's just crawling with invisible bugs. The thought of going back to my dorm feeling like this and having to deal with my roommate’s scents makes my stomach roll. So, I call the voice of calm and reason.
He picks up on the first ring, but I don't give him time to speak. "Raine, I think something is wrong."
"Why? Are you okay?" he asks.
"I don't feel good," I admit, telling him about my reaction to literally everything today.
He hums into the phone like he knows what's going on, then I hear him talking to someone else. "Hey, man. Will you go pick up Marnie?"
One of the twins murmurs something that has him answering, "Yeah, she's okay. Just wants to come home for the night."
I could cry at his words. Home never sounded so good.
"Okay, pretty girl," he says. "Jameson is on his way. Want me to stay on the phone with you while you wait?"
"No, it's fine," I tell him honestly. Just knowing they're on the way has already lifted some of the weight. "I've got to run to my dorm and grab some stuff. I'll meet him at the front gate."
Raine snorts softly into the phone. "I don't know why we don't just move you in here already. It's not the same without you now."
The man is determined to make me cry. I catch a few sniffles before some of the team comes out of the building, passing me with dirty looks.
"I'll be there soon," I promise before we say goodbyes and hang up.
My roommates still haven't come out, so I've got time to run to the dorm and grab things. Knowing it's Jameson on his bike probably, I don't pack everything like I want. I just take the important stuff that I need for now and put it all in my backpack. Making sure I've got keys, wallet, phone, and my laptop, I grab the leather jacket and helmet off my desk and lock all my doors.
I pass my roommates on the stairs, but we don't speak to each other. When I get outside, it's all I can do to keep from running to the front of campus. If I would've known that Jameson was already sitting there waiting, I probably would've.
He grins as I walk up. "Hey, babe."
"Hi," I say, throwing my arms around him.
He buries his face in my neck and rubs circles on my back underneath my bag. "You okay?"
I nod against his shoulder. "I'm just not feeling right."
"Well, let's get you home then," he says, kissing my neck super close to my bonding mark.
Pulling away just far enough to where I can see his face, I kiss the dimple in his chin. "Always my hero."
"Always," he repeats, pressing his lips against mine.
He holds my bag as I put on the jacket and helmet before handing it back for me to climb onto his bike behind him. We fly through the night like we did the last time we rode together. As we leave town and head toward the city, the stars are lit up like tiny decorations in the sky. It's peaceful. Riding with Jameson seems to bring that, even though I was terrified of getting on this thing at first.
I slip my hand underneath his jacket and shirt, needing the contact with his skin. But then I think about the fact that Kinkaid was the one who offered his body, not Jameson. I shouldn't be taking advantage. When I go to remove it, his hand covers mine and pushes it further up until it rests over his heart. That's where I leave it the rest of the ride.
We pull into the garage, and he helps me off his bike, stashing the jackets and helmets in the back of the convertible. He waits until we're in the elevator and the doors ding shut before he spins on me, lifting me off my feet and giving me no option but to wrap my legs around his waist. He goes to push me against the wall but my bag stops him. I drop it faster than a tuna fish sandwich, allowing him to do as he planned.
His mouth covers mine and for the three or four minutes that it takes for us to reach the top, we devour each other. His fingers dig into my butt cheeks as he flexes them while holding me in place. When his lips travel a path down my neck, a small whine slips out as he kisses Kinkaid’s mark.
"If I wasn't doing this as a favor for Raine, knowing that he wants to see you tonight, you'd be with me so I can give you one of these for myself," he growls into my neck.
I whine again and can feel slick leaking out onto my panties. He makes the growling sound again as the elevator dings and he sets me on my feet. He kisses me one last time before grabbing my bag and catching the door from closing with his foot. Taking my hand, he leads us over to their apartment.
"Raine should be in his room," he tells me. "I'm going to put your bag in yours."
I pull him to me before he can release my hand. "Thank you."
I can tell that he knows I'm talking about more than just the bag. Giving me a quick nod and another kiss, he pats my bum before turning to walk down our hall.
I, on the other hand, go in search of Raine, finding him exactly where Jameson said I would. He's sitting at his desk with low music playing in the room. His door is open, so I don't bother knocking.
He must hear me coming because he turns just as I make there. "Hey, pretty girl."
"Hi." I smile at him. "Thanks for sending the calvary."
He nods. "Want to tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours?"
I shrug, walking the rest of the way into his room before I start pacing. "I don't know honestly. Everything and everybody are getting on my nerves. Their scents were strong enough today that it gave me a headache. I felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown if I had to sleep at the dorms tonight. I just needed something and couldn't figure out what."
"Us," he says quietly. "You needed us."
I nod slowly. "I think so."
"That's not a weakness, you know," he tells me. "We all need somebody. It took me a long time to realize that too. That because we needed them doesn't make us weak."
"Who do you need?" I ask.
"Grady," he replies instantly. "He was here when I came back from war during my darkest days. He helped me through all of it. There are still days when I just go sit with him while he works just to be near him. He has this personality that brings out the best in people, and I need that sometimes when I'm having dark days."
"You were in the military?" I ask surprised.
He nods. "Best four years of my life until it wasn't."
I know the instant that he shuts down. It's written on his face, but I can feel it more than anything. Probably because I know all too well what it feels like.
He changes the subject, and I don't stop him. "You know who else I've become pretty dependent on lately?"
"Who?" I ask quietly.
Smiling, he says, "You. Anytime you're not here, I'm always wondering where you are or what you're doing. Seeing that beautiful smile when you look at me. It helps thaw something right here."
He touches the middle of his chest, and I have to cover my face to keep him from seeing the tears rolling down my face that I've fought so hard today. A finger underneath my chin brings my face up as he reminds me, "Don't hide from me."
Pressing our lips together, I take the peace that he's offering as I stand in his embrace. When he pulls away, he looks down at me, kissing the tip of my nose before asking, "Thirsty?"
I nod and he kisses it again telling me that he'll be right back. Being in his room for the first time, I walk around looking at the stuff he has lying around. Small little nick nacks and keepsakes from one point in his life to another. Small pictures of him hugging an elderly lady, and one of him in camo with a group of people dressed similarly. A song plays from his speakers that has a good beat and makes me want to dance to it. My hips sway automatically as I reach out to touch his military tags, stopping myself before I do.
There's a sound at the door, and I jerk around to find him standing there with two bottles of water watching me.
My automatic reaction is to apologize and beg for forgiveness. "I'm sorry."
He walks into the room slowly, setting the waters down on his desk before coming over to me. I know he's not them, and I'm not there, but that fear has been instilled in me since I was a child.
Taking my hand, he pulls me over to the desk where he takes a seat in his chair, leaving me standing in front of him. "What are you apologizing for?"
"Dancing," I tell him honestly. "We weren't allowed to dance. Even at the gathering of the packs for formal ceremonies. It was considered a sin to let our bodies loose to have fun."
"You're not there anymore, pretty girl," he says quietly. "You can dance all you want now. In fact, I welcome it, because I love to watch your body move. You're home with us, and your pack won't let anything happen to you."
I swallow hard, wanting to do as he says, but I can't bring myself to. His hands find my hips and push them into swaying again. I close my eyes and feel the music, letting the beat flow into my body. When I open my eyes again, it's to find him watching me with his hands folded across his stomach as he leans back in his chair. My hips stop moving, so he reaches back out to them again, but instead of making them move, he pulls me onto his lap until I'm straddling him.
His lips find Kinkaid's bonding mark, kissing it lightly before moving them up to my ear and sucking the lobe through his teeth. I run my hands up his chest, wanting to feel his skin against mine. I grab his shirt and lift, getting his help sitting up so I can strip it completely off. Then my fingers are tracing his skin for different reasons. Between the massive panther tattoo covering the right side of his body and torso, there are tiny little scars dotting his skin.
His breath shudders as I touch them. Leaning down I press light kisses against them just like he did my mark. Grabbing the bottom of my shirt, he strips it off me, tossing it across the room before moving to my bra. Once it's gone too, he wastes no time bringing my breasts straight to his mouth. It feels so good that I let out an involuntary moan. The way our naked skin brushes against each other gives me what I was searching for all day. He was right. I needed them. I needed him. He was the one I called.
Using his strength, he grabs my hips and pushes me back to a standing position, only long enough to strip my shorts and panties off, leaving me naked in front of him. His eyes rake over every inch, making me feel every bit of the pretty girl he claims me to be. Leaning over, I lock eyes with him as I undo the button and zipper on his pants. As I pull them down his legs, I don't break eye contact but happily notice he's commando underneath. There's something sexy in knowing that he walks around with his massive manhood swinging free. Honestly, massive is the perfect word for him. The only one that can rival him so far is Grady.
His hands travel up the backs of my thighs as he slowly pulls me closer until I have no choice other than to straddle him again. I glance down to where he's lining himself up with me. I can already see the slick wetting the tip as he brushes it through my folds. He can't force me down on himself. He's given me complete control, letting me decide when I want to take him, and I do, very, very slowly.
The war in my body finally settles as it gets what it's wanted all along. He grabs my hips and lifts me up and down to ride him. It causes the muscles in his arms to stand out more than they already do, and I whine wanting to lick them all over. My head falls back in ecstasy.
Noticing the corner of the door in my peripheral, I gasp. "The door is open."
"So," he says with a deep rumble in his voice. "Let them watch if they walk by."
I whine again at the thought.
"Oh, our pretty girl likes that, doesn't she?" he asks. "The thought of one of your mates watching me fuck this tight pussy."
His words are so dirty and so sinful. It turns me on even more.
"Who do you want to watch?" he asks, slamming me down on him.
I shout the first name that pops into my mind, "Grady!"
He moves us faster and harder just as a voice sounds from the door. "Yeah? Holy hell."
I whimper again, thinking about what he must be seeing from his angle.
"Mmm," Raine grunts. "Our girl wanted you to watch me fuck her."
"That so?" he asks lust riding his tone hard.
He comes into view, bringing another whimper out of me. One of his hands wraps up in my hair, gently tugging my head back as the other comes up to wrap around my neck beneath my chin. He leans down and kisses me hard enough to possibly leave bruises, and I love it. Leaving one hand on Raine's shoulders, my other sneaks under Grady's shirt and rests on the hard muscles of his abs.
Raine starts to swell inside of me, and I moan into Grady's mouth. He reaches down to pinch one of my nipples softly between his fingers and I fall right over the edge, crying out Raine's name. Grady lets go and walks away just as Raine's knot hits that spot inside of me and locks us together, sending us both on a crash course to hell.
I lay draped across him in his chair and revel in the feel of our bodies pressed together while he presses kisses to my forehead and top of my head. Once we've both caught our breath, he picks me up and walks us over to the bed, lying on his back with me still draped across him as he pulls the covers around us.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I wake, still laid across him with his soft manhood still slightly inside of me. He's grunting in his sleep while his head moves back and forth. It's easy to see that he's having a nightmare. Trying to give him the same peace he gave me, I kiss him slowly all over his chest until his breathing evens out and he wakes up.
"Did I wake you?" he asks.
"Yeah, but it's okay. We all need that somebody," I remind him.
He flips me over and we lay talking for hours in the dark as we explore every inch of each other. His long hair tickling places I would never think to be ticklish as we share our traumas. Both of us knowing it's easier in the dark than the light of day.