Chapter 25
When I’m walking out of Cheated On-Onymous, a secret support group meeting for people who’ve been cheated on, the last thing I want is to run into the man who screwed me over.
Luckily, I don’t.
Instead, the burly blond man I lock eyes with in the Green Valley Library parking lot is my ex’s father.
“Robin!” Jensen Kraut’s face breaks into a grin, which rapidly melts into a frown, which immediately transforms into a straight line of tightened lips. There it stays, radiating disappointment.
“Hi, Jensen.” I offer him a wave and try to ignore the rumbling pain in my chest at his reaction to me.
Daren’s dad told me I could call him by his first name the first time I met him, and then he gave me a big hug and welcomed me to the family. Just like that. Wasn’t long before I started to think of the man like a father figure. He’s supportive and protective and loving.
One of the most painful parts of the breakup with Daren was admitting I was also giving up this man who had started to fill a hole in my heart left by my absentee father.
“How’s it going?” My question sounds awkward and stilted, and my hand slips into my hair, adjusting my hearing aid with anxious fingers. I wore the device to keep up with the conversation in my support group, not to clearly hear a confrontation with my ex’s dad.
Jensen grimaces. “Not great, gotta tell you. Daren is a mess over what happened between you two. Can’t say I’m okay with y’all’s split either.”
My gut churns as I try to tamp down a defensive comment. As much as I hoped it wouldn’t go this way, I can’t claim to be surprised Jensen would side with his son.
They’re blood. I’m not.
Arthur’s got Kraut blood, too, but he took my side.
As if reading my mind, Jensen keeps going. “And this thing you’ve started up with Arthur? He’s a good man, but it’s hasty. Don’t you think?” Jensen offers me a set of hopeful hazel eyes. “You and Daren could work through things. Have you thought about therapy? Daren would go if you asked.”
I barely suppress a snort.
Therapy. I’m not against the practice. I know a few buddies from the military who went to treat their PTSD and talking to a professional helped.
But what would couples therapy accomplish for Daren and me? Give me ways to not be mad at him for cheating? Provide the guy with an opportunity to present an excuse for his behavior?
All so we could go back to being what we were?
I don’t want that. Because I don’t want Daren. Not anymore.
If I still did, then, sure, I’d give therapy a shot.
Now, I just want him to know the way betrayal feels, like it’s a red-hot knife sliding into your gut. And I don’t really care if that’s an unhealthy reaction.
But none of my anger is for Jensen, no matter that he can forgive his son’s infidelity. If I could still have him in my life without tying myself to Daren, I would.
“Thank you,” I say. “For accepting me into your family and still wanting me to be a part of it. I did love your son.” Much as I hate that fact. “But Daren and I are over. For good.”
My eyes track past his shoulder, where some of the women I just met with are making their ways to their cars, and my thoughts return to the stories shared at our meeting.
A few reacted to a cheating partner like me, breaking their relationship off the moment they found out their lover wasn’t faithful. But some of them are still with the cheater for a variety of reasons. A couple are trying to do what Jensen is suggesting—repairing a broken trust to rediscover the original love. But then there are the ones that feel like they can’t leave. Because of shared kids or lack of financial support or fear of a physical retaliation.
There’s no judgment in our meetings, no matter the road a person chooses to go down after being betrayed.
But I know myself. I’ve seen too many of my mother’s half-hearted loves to accept one for myself when I have the option to walk away.
The moment Clarine handed me those photos of Daren and Trinity, the question wasn’t if I would break things off. All I had to decide was how I would do it.
“But there’s the thing.” Jensen gestures at my chest, the general area of my heart. “Y’all got love. That’s something. You can’t just give up on that.”
As much as his words hurt and frustrate me, I bite back my immediate snarky response. In the dim cast of the parking lot lights, I gaze up at Jensen Kraut and remind myself the man is a hopeless romantic.
To his detriment, in my opinion.
I mean, the guy fell for a woman who kept leaving him. Daren and his brothers all have the same mother, but none of them really know her. She’s one of those drift through life without purpose or responsibilities types. From what my ex told me, she’d come to Green Valley, play house with Jensen for a while, get pregnant, give birth, and a few months later, she’d drive off without warning, leaving her kids and their father behind.
Jensen took her back each time—I guess because he thought his love might make her stay one day. Or maybe he thought they were soulmates.
Apparently, she hasn’t been back since Stewart’s first birthday, although she does call one of the brothers every few years to “check in.”
This man is good at overlooking faults when love is in the equation. But I’m not Jensen Kraut, and nothing about his tragic love tale inspires me to be.
“I need more than love.”
Before he can push again, dig an insistent finger into my sensitive spots, I offer another wave, then dodge around him and power walk to my car. Heading back to the Kraut man who chose my side.