Chapter 38
Robin sits cross-legged on the mattress in the back of my van, one of my large T-shirts the only thing covering her, grinning at me like I’ve brought her a double chocolate cake.
Am I the cake?
Would she be this excited if she knew the cake was in love with her?
The metaphor doesn’t really work anymore.
Robin cups her hands around her mouth. “Take your clothes off!” she yells, pretending like we’re at a football game and I’m her favorite team.
I frown at her, but only because I know she likes it. “Greedy.”
“Horny,” she corrects, then pats the mattress beside her. “And cold. How about you practice warming me up?”
The words are teasing, but I wonder if there’s an element of truth in them. Does she still think this is all training for someone else?
Can she not tell she’s the only woman I ever want?
But I can’t say those words to her. Can’t risk making this too real of a thing for her to be comfortable with. Robin needs a revenge rebound, and I need...
I need whatever she’ll give me.
Tugging the door shut behind me, I toss my overnight bag in the corner, having just finished up in the campground’s bathroom. When I settle beside Robin on the bed, I sit up straight, trying not to crowd her on the small mattress. It’s a narrow thing compared to the king-size in my house, but I did get the extra-long to make sure my feet wouldn’t hang off the end. Comfortable enough for a single guy traveling the country.
Tight quarters for Robin and me.
That’s one of the reasons I brought her out here. Wanted the little mechanic plastered against me all night.
Robin slips into my lap, her thighs straddling mine. I brace myself for her eager, heated kiss.
But she doesn’t dive in.
“You’re going statue again.” She rubs a hand over my chest. “Something up?”
I shake my head, the movement jerky.
Robin’s brows drop as she studies me. “Right.” She drags the word out, then shifts to climb off my lap. “We can just go to sleep?—”
“No,” I growl, clutching her hips to keep her in place. The hot center of her presses against my sweatpants, where I’m getting hard, fast. “I need practice.”
But that doesn’t get rid of Robin’s frown. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”
Shit. That word has always worked in the past. Now, it’s lost its power.
Maybe she doesn’t want to go further than we have up till this point. That’s better anyway. I shouldn’t deviate from the plan to keep some distance between us. But, hell, I want to hear her say my name in that needy moan she has.
“I’ll just go down on you,” I promise. “Make you feel good.”
Robin continues to frown, and I panic.
What happened? What did I do wrong?
“I don’t want to do that anymore,” she says.
My intestines plummet.
I fucked it up. The small piece of her I got, she’s done giving it to me. I’m losing her sooner than I thought.
“If I’m coming, I want you to be too,” Robin says, giving a gentle tug at the bottom of my beard. She holds my eyes, her words halting my nosedive. “But I also don’t want to do something you’re not interested in. So, if it’s just going to be me, I’d rather we go to bed.”
Fuck me.
And that’s exactly what she’s offering.
But she doesn’t have all the information.
Just say it. Tell her.
“I’ve never . . .” I blurt the first two words, then lose my voice. Even after clearing my throat a few times, it doesn’t come back.
At least Robin isn’t trying to get away from me anymore. She settles against me, wrapping her arms around my neck to tug on my hair in a gentle, soothing way. “You’ve never what?”
I wave a hand at the bed.
Fuck. I’m a grown man. Why can’t I say the word?
Virgin.
Robin’s eyes flick to the mattress, then back to me, confusion crinkling her brow until her eyes go wide.
“Sex? You’ve never had sex?”
I nod and find my voice has returned. “Only what we did.”
Robin’s face maintains a level of shock that maybe I should be offended by.
Then, she speaks. “But you’re so hot!”
My body flushes, and talking suddenly seems pointless. Why am I not already peeling her clothes off?
But when my hands grasp the edge of her shirt and start to tug upward, she grabs my wrists and holds me still. “Wait. Arthur, just...give me...something. More than that. You’ve never had sex, and now, you, what? Want to fuck me in the back of your van?”
“Yes.” More than I’ve ever wanted anything other than hearing her say she loves me. “It’s a nice van,” I point out.
Robin barks a laugh, and I try not to be surly. Her laugh is one of my favorite sounds. I just don’t want her giggling right at this moment.
“Agreed. This is a top-notch van. Great for having penetrative sex. But seriously.” She holds my eyes now, utter sincerity shining from hers. “Why now? With me? Have you been...saving yourself? For your soulmate?”
“No.” That’s the truth. If there’d been someone who I didn’t think was my life partner but we had a mutual attraction and I didn’t bungle it up with my terrible kissing, I would’ve been open to sleeping together.
Just turns out that Robin does happen to be my one and only.
Not that she needs to know that.
“It never happened.” I shrug.
She studies me a moment longer. “And you’re sure you want it to happen now? With me?”
I nod. Once. Definitive.
And still, she frowns. Reaching up, I stroke my thumb over her plump bottom lip, hoping to ease away the sad expression. Robin wanted to have sex before. Does me being a virgin ruin this for her?
“I’ll do whatever you tell me,” I promise. “However you like it, I’ll do it. Just say what you want.”
“Arthur.” Her voice is full of doubt, and I fight off dread.
Please, let me have this much of you.
A memory to keep when she’s gone.
Leaning in, I press an open-mouthed kiss to her neck. Just like she likes. Just like she taught me.
I want to whisper my plea, but she won’t hear if I do. So, I speak clearly, with conviction. “I swear I can be good at this.”
Trust me. Give me a chance.
But her hands tug at my hair, pulling my mouth away from her delicious skin, and I can’t help a groan of protest.
Then, my body locks up when I see Robin’s hopeless expression. Something like devastation lingers in her eyes.
“It can’t be practice anymore, Arthur. I can’t be a stand-in for someone else. Not if we do this.”
God, is that what has her holding back?
As if I could think of anyone else when Robin is nearby. Nothing else in the world registers when her lips are on mine.
“I want you, Robin Dunn. Only you. No games. No practice. No one else.”
“Just me?” she rasps as her nails tease against my skull.
“Please.” I pull her hips hard against me and grunt at the contact. “I need you. But I want to make it good for you.”
I don’t want to practice, but I do want to learn. I need the knowledge of her every desire so I can be the one to give them all to her for as long as she’ll let me.
“Okay,” Robin breathes.
Then, a slow grin spreads across her face, and the eagerness has me ready to spill when I haven’t even gotten inside her yet.
“Sounds like we need a plan of attack.”
“You’re going to attack my dick?” Maybe I should be wary of the idea. But it’s Robin, so she can do whatever the hell she wants.
Her laughter spills forth again, and this time, I smile in response, more hopeful than before.
“No, Arthur. I promise to be extremely gentle with your dick.”
To pair with her point, Robin reaches between us to palm my cock through my sweatpants. I groan as a spear of pleasure shoots straight up my spine.
“You can be rough,” I tell her, breathing heavy at the idea of her gripping me hard.
“Good to know.” Robin does press harder for a moment, but then eases off. “But by plan of attack, I meant, talking this through. Set up an approach.”
I fight the urge to frown, but Robin must see my consternation because she chuckles and tugs on my beard.
“Hear me out. You want to make this good, right?”
“Yes.” No hesitation.
“Me too. So, let’s think.” She leans back, taking me all in without removing her seat from my lap. “First things first. If it’s your first time, you’ll likely come fast. I want to establish that as an expectation and nothing to be ashamed about.”
Before I can respond, Robin dives in and kisses me hard and fast and hungry. When she breaks away, we’re both panting.
“So,” she continues in a breathless yet instructional tone, “if you’re going to come fast when you start fucking me”—hell, that word on her lips is hot—“what do you need to do right now?”
This is like sexy math class. If I’m going to orgasm in her tight pussy and I want this to be equally good for her, then I need to make sure Robin has an orgasm too.
Preferably more than one and definitely before I get mine.
My ultimate goal: beat that jockey who somehow got her to five. I want to be the new record holder.
“Get you off first.”
“You got it.”
That’s something I know how to do. Now that she’s not holding me away anymore, I lean in to taste her skin again, feeling the goose bumps against my tongue. Meanwhile, my fingers press past the elastic of her underwear.
Robin is damp for me, but I want her soaking.
She lets out a happy moan when I find her clit, teasing the bundle of nerves with a few circles before I press my fingers hard and swipe back and forth. Just like she taught me.
I’ll learn every secret she has. Use every one of them to get her to stay with me longer.
“That’s it.” Robin leans back, bracing her hands on my thighs and watching as I pleasure her. “Get me there.”
“Fuck.” It’s the only word I can manage, and then I lose my grasp of the English language when she tugs her T-shirt off.
Robin’s tight pink nipples taunt me, and my mouth waters. I reach out and palm one small breast, rolling the globe in my palm, plucking her nipple in gentle pinches.
Robin pants hard, her lids fluttering, hips rocking. From the dig of her fingers into my thighs, I know her muscles have started to clench the way they do right before she comes. In the dim light of the van, I watch a heated flush engulf her chest a moment before she whimpers and curls toward me. Her vulva pulses against my fingers, the orgasm spasming through her.
Haven’t screwed it up yet, thank God.
Easing my touch away from her core, I cradle Robin against me as she rides out the shudders of pleasure. I massage the back of her neck with one hand and trail the other up and down her spine, enjoying the soft brush of her skin against my palm, all while trying to ignore that aching band of iron in my briefs.
But that’s impossible to do when Robin snakes her hand down to boldly cup me.
“You ready?” Her voice comes out hoarse, and my muscles clench in anticipation.
“I have condoms.” Everything in this compact space is within reach, so it’s no trouble for me to slip the box I bought out of a side storage container.
Robin plucks them from my hand, and much to my consternation, she slides off my lap. But I don’t pout for long because she immediately pushes her panties down her legs and kicks them away.
Maybe I should be doing something to get ready, but I can’t move. All that exists for me in this moment is Robin. She’s too gorgeous to handle, standing bare before me, hair on her head slightly mussed and falling out of her bun, curls at the apex of her thighs damp from arousal. She wears a frown of concentration as she tears open the flap on the new box of contraception and pulls out a foil packet.
When her blue eyes meet mine, I’m so close to telling her the truth.
That I love her.
But I’m a selfish prick, keeping it to myself because I’m scared she’ll stop this if she knows.
“Do you want to have sex with your clothes on?” she asks in the same way I’d ask if she wanted mustard for her sandwich.
Plan-of-attack Robin is back, and she’s still fucking hot enough to have me struggling to answer with anything other than a headshake. I keep my seat on the bed but rip my shirt over my head and push my bottoms and briefs off. My erection pops up to smack my stomach, leaving a bead of pre-cum on my lower belly.
“Here’s the thing.” Robin moves to stand between my spread knees, one hand landing on my shoulder as she holds the unopened condom up in the other. “I know this is your first time, but I plan on taking control.” She taps the condom against my chest. “Because I’ve wanted to have you like this for a while, and now’s my chance.”
Unsure of what to say—or even if my voice will work—I grunt.
“I’m going to take that as an affirmative.” Robin tears open the package, pinches the tip, and rolls the latex down my length in a skilled move. She meets my eyes as her hand cups my balls, and I think I inhale my tongue. “Tell me to stop if you need a moment.”
“Never.” There’s not a moment in time I’ll want Robin anywhere other than here.
Her smile spreads in time with her thighs as she settles astride my lap, hovering so her tits are in my face and her pussy is a few inches above my dick. Because they’re so close, taunting me, I lean forward to tongue one of the hard peaks. Robin lets out a happy murmur as she cups my head against her, encouraging me to suck. As I eagerly follow the silent direction, she begins to lower, reaching down to hold my cock upright.
The first press of her against my tip is ecstasy. But it’s nothing compared to the slow slide into her slick heat.
“God, Arthur. You’re so thick.” She’s got both her hands in my hair now, nails dragging over my skull.
“You like it?” Please compliment my cock.
“I love it. The way you stretch me.” Finally, Robin bottoms out, coming to rest in my lap, her eyes, hazy with lust, staring into mine. “You feel so good.”
Maybe, but I doubt my invasion of her body feels anywhere near as brain-melting as having her strong grip around my aching cock. Robin was right. I’m not going to last long.
Which is a shame because this is the kind of sensation I wish could go on for decades.
Robin leans back again, the way she did when I was fingering her, and I stare down in awe at the sight of her intimate lips swallowing my length. She wasn’t lying. I am stretching her wide.
Something like masculine pride fires off in my chest, and I have the sudden urge to drag her to the ground and fuck her hard. To leave an imprint of my body on hers.
But Robin said she was going to take charge.
With a single rock of her hips, she does.
My cock slips out an inch, then nestles back into her sheath, and I’m already groaning like a wounded beast, fingers digging into the pliant flesh of her thighs.
“Again,” I beg.
Robin complies, steadily fucking me, not fast, but still relentless. And my stare stays locked on where our bodies are joined, hypnotized by the knowledge that I’m buried deep in the pussy of the woman I love, knowing if I see her face, I won’t be able to hold back my orgasm. And I don’t want this to end.
“Arthur?” Robin’s voice is tight and needy.
I grunt.
“If you stroke my clit, I’ll come on your cock,” she tells me almost casually.
Well, hell. I’m not about to pass that up. My right hand releases its death grip on her ass to rediscover her little pleasure center. With a few strokes, Robin starts tightening around me more than I believed possible as her thrusts take on an erratic rhythm.
The desperate motions have my teeth clenching and my balls drawing up, ready to spill.
“I’m going to . . . I’m going to . . .” she pants.
And then she is, crying out my name and coming, and, hell, I feel the needy grasp of her pussy on my cock, milking my own orgasm out of me.
Unable to stop myself, I crush Robin to my chest, holding her tight as she shudders, and my hips buck up one final time before my brain implodes.
With a wretched bellow, I follow her over the crest and come hard, my vision going spotty and my heart missing multiple beats.
I’ve never experienced something so world-altering.
And I don’t know how I’ll be able to give her up.