23. Sunny
Chapter 23
Sunny
B eing a mother was truly the greatest joy in my life, but sometimes it really, really sucked. Luka hadn’t slept for more than a few hours in days, and the guys were gone almost constantly, dealing with the wildfire, so I was working overtime to ensure there was food and freshly baked goods ready at all times.
Walker had assured me that I didn’t need to be cooking and cleaning around the firehouse, but I felt like it was the least I could do to earn my keep while I was there. They were out fighting fires; in comparison, a little domestic labor was nothing.
On top of that, I was also attempting to catch up on my college assignments. Logging into my university account one evening while the guys were out at a fire, I saw just how far behind I’d fallen.
I was quickly getting overwhelmed, but I was also determined not to let it show. Part of me regretted even mentioning that Luka was struggling to sleep through the night because I could immediately tell the guys wanted to help. They had already done so much. I couldn't take any more support from them without feeling insanely guilty.
Luka had finally fallen back to sleep around five a.m., and I had passed out in bed. I was the kind of exhausted that I hadn’t experienced in a long time. My body was just getting to that nice, deeply relaxed state of sleep when a voice broke through my subconscious.
“Sunshine.” The sound tugged at my consciousness, and I didn’t want to listen to it. My body was languid and in a state of pure comfort.
“Go away,” I grumbled, shoving my head deeper into the pillow.
“I’ll never leave you alone, sunshine! But, unfortunately, sleep must wait for a bit. Elliot’s coming here for a meeting with Walker, and one of the guys from his station is a plumber and is going to fix the shower for you.”
Groaning, I sat up. Walker’s shower had been getting more and more difficult to turn on, and it was becoming a problem. Naturally, I couldn't be asleep in my bed when the guy came to repair it. In my hazy, exhausted state, I didn't feel very logical.
“I don't like you right now.” I glowered at him through sleep-laden eyes.
Blaze grimaced. “I wouldn’t like me much right now, either, but I set up a bunch of blankets in the den, plus I went out and grabbed breakfast burritos and donuts—the fancy artisanal kind. I thought we could hunker down there and watch some trashy TV. We can even take the travel cot in there for Luka if he wants to sleep.”
Narrowing my eyes at him, I tried to pull myself together so I was at least a little more human. “Fine,” I growled. “Let me get dressed.”
Blaze chuckled, flopping back onto the bed with a victory cry. “Oh, sunshine, you can stay dressed like that. I assure you, I am more than okay with it,” he said as his eyes raked over me. All I was wearing was one of his firehouse T-shirts and a tiny pair of underwear. Not that he could see what was under the T-shirt, because it was so long it fell to my knees.
Standing, I stretched, cocking my head to the side. “Are you happy for visitors to see me like this?” I asked coyly.
Blaze’s grin dropped. Thinking for a moment, he shook his head. “You know what? On second thought, the firehouse is rather chilly this time of year. Maybe we need to get you one of those gigantic hoodies and baggy yoga pants. Not the tight ones that you usually wear, but the really baggy ones. I hear they’re warmer.”
Laughing gleefully, I padded to the bathroom to do my morning business and get dressed, ignoring the wave of dizziness that hit as I was brushing my teeth. I needed a damn good nap, but I couldn't have one at the moment. Mentally shaking myself, I pulled myself together and rinsed my mouth before returning to the bedroom, where Blaze was waiting.
Luka had clearly woken in the ten minutes I had been in the bathroom. Blaze was lying on the bed, Luka sitting on his chest, giggling as he was rocked back and forth.
“I see someone didn’t stay asleep long.” I glowered playfully at my baby before leaning down and blowing a raspberry on his cloth-covered belly.
Blaze shook his head. “Literally the minute you left the room, he was up and about.”
“He's got a sixth sense about that. Recently, any time I go to bake cookies, he wakes up, so I end up taking the travel cot to the kitchen.”
Blaze narrowed his eyes playfully at Luka. “Are you stressing your mama out?” he asked, holding on to his little fists as he giggled in response.
“See, he’s shameless!” I laughed.
“Hopefully once we have a bit more space, and he has his own bedroom, he'll get more used to it. Then again, I can't blame him for wanting to be near you, considering that's all I want to do,” he said, batting his eyelashes at me.
Snorting, I plucked the baby out of his arms. “I don’t think this is going to be changing anytime soon,” I said, picking up my phone with one hand and shoving it into the pocket of my hoodie. “You said there was food?”
“Yes, follow me! There’s scrambled eggs for the little one and breakfast burritos for us.” As he spoke, he crawled off the bed, a huge grin on his face. His dark hair was sticking out at all angles, like he had just rolled out of bed himself, but his eyes were bright, full of an energy I was bitterly jealous of. How was he able to zoom around like a toddler who had consumed energy drinks when he was off fighting fires night and day?
Padding into the kitchen, I smiled at Walker and Gil, who were standing at the counter near Rune’s fancy coffee machine, both with mugs in hand.
“Morning.” Gil smiled at me, before his face fell into a frown of concern. “You look like you could use a few more hours’ sleep. I remember the nights our babies just wouldn’t rest. Give me a wildfire to fight over that any day.”
Shooting him a warm but tired smile, I slipped Luka into his high chair and nodded. “He’s cutting a new tooth, I think.”
Gil grimaced. “It may have been a few years since my children were babies, but I think that chocolate and possibly wine are the solution to this situation, as well as a damn good nap.”
I hummed as I opened the fridge, pulling out the milk. The sound of Walker putting his coffee mug down reached me as a warm body came up behind me, tugging the milk out of my grasp and closing the fridge.
“I’ll get his sippy cup,” Walker said softly, his eyes full of concern.
Did I really look that tired?
Maybe I needed to invest in some concealer.
What little makeup I’d loved and treasured had been destroyed in the fire, so I was making do with a lip balm and dreams.
Nodding, I ducked under his arm without a word, heading to the burner where the scrambled eggs were ready and waiting. Scooping some into a dish, I grabbed the little set of baby cutlery out of the drawer and returned to Luka, who was gazing up at me expectantly.
My baby absolutely adored food. He was growing so fast, I didn’t know how I was going to cope when he became a teenager. Feeding him would require a second full-time job.
“Ready for some eggs?” I cooed as I sat in the chair next to him, facing him as I mixed up the eggs.
“How long until he eats more substantial meals?” Blaze asked as he headed straight for the food.
“Not long. I’ll slowly introduce him to new things as he gets a little older. I’ve been keeping it pretty simple here because, with so much changing, I didn’t want to shock him any further. As long as he’s got oatmeal, eggs, and chicken pasta, he’s a very happy baby. Thankfully, he also loves fruit. I got lucky there.”
He loved blueberries and strawberries… which happened to be fairly expensive, but it was worth it for Luka. It didn’t help that I usually went to the farmers markets to find the best produce for him. I, on the other hand, would happily chow down on a toaster pastry because it was cheap and easy. I had done all my growing.
The guys chatted among themselves while Luka and I ate our breakfast, but I wasn’t paying attention. My eyelids were heavy and my head felt light—it was really a perplexing combination. Still, there was nothing I could do but give myself a good mental shake and continue.
As soon as Luka was full and happy, I was going to shove one of those breakfast burritos into my mouth because my stomach was starting to gurgle with hunger.
“I’m sorry you had to get up early for the shower repair. It was the only time the guy could make it this week,” Walker said as he rinsed his coffee cup in the sink.
“You can’t help that.” I shrugged. I didn't have the energy to be too perky in my response, but I also didn't want him to blame himself. Exhaustion was just part and parcel of being a mother.
“Still, if we aren't on a call this evening, I'll watch over Luka, and you can get an early night.”
“Rune’s already volunteered to do that, thank you.” I smiled warmly.
I didn't want to get my hopes up, though. The wildfires weren’t out yet. In my current state of exhaustion, nothing would have set me off more than the promise of rest to be cruelly taken from me by a fire.
A squeal escaped Luka as he finished his eggs, a sound that may have sounded normal, but I knew it to be the grumpy demand for more food from the toddler.
“You want some more?” I giggled as he waved his little fists in the air. “Maybe if you got more in your mouth, instead of all over your face, you wouldn’t need seconds!”
His only response was to squeal as I stood up to go get more food.
The moment I stood, my head started to ache fiercely. Maybe I was coming down with a cold. All I knew was that the next few days were going to suck until Luka got back to a normal sleep schedule.
“He’s got a good appetite,” Walker said as I passed him, only his words sounded like they were under water. “Sunny?” he asked, concern evident in his tone.
“Yeah?” I turned to look at him as my vision swam.
“Are you okay?”
“Of course,” I said, right as my legs gave out and I hit the floor.