Chapter 18
I was exhausted and miserable by the time we pulled up to the pack house. It looked like a mini estate, the house more reminiscent of a castle than any home I had personally been in before, with tall rounded windows, sweeping roofs, and skinny trees dotting the yard in front of it. Even if I felt brittle enough to fall apart in a strong breeze, I could still appreciate the beauty of the building before me.
We pulled over a brick drive and disappeared into the double set of garages. I didn’t protest when Kai offered to carry me in, unsure how steady I would be on my own feet.
He took me in through a spacious, tidy pantry and into the prettiest kitchen I had ever seen with brick archways, three glowing chandeliers hanging above a long island that could easily fit a dozen people around it. Gold fixtures and hardware popped against the white cabinetry. A large arched window on the other side of the kitchen opened into a courtyard that was full of neat hedges, numerous cacti, and red stones nestled around the plants.
“We’ll give you a proper tour tomorrow,” Kai told me. “You can pick any room you want and we’ll figure out everything later.”
He carried me straight upstairs and I tried not to gape at the twenty-foot ceilings in the foyer or the gorgeous curve of the stairway with decorative wrought iron swirls beneath the railing. At the top of the stairs Kai set me on my feet, keeping a steadying arm around me.
“My room is at the end on the right, Amir across from me, Diego and Miles down the other side. There’s a guest bed downstairs too if you don’t want to stay with any of us.”
“Yours,” I managed to say.
Kai showed me to his own room, the air thick with muted cinnamon when he opened the door. The scent was a bit stale, but then I supposed they hadn’t been here for a little while. I staggered out of his arms and crawled onto the bed, burying myself beneath the blankets.
“Do you want company?”
“No.” It was a lie, but I just wanted the space to cry in peace. I had already cried too much in front of them and I could only bear so much humiliation in one day.
“All right,” Kai said softly. “Sleep if you’d like. Or I can get you something to eat.”
My stomach growled, but I was nauseated too. I would worry about food in the morning. “Just sleep please.”
He kissed the top of my head before leaving me and I clutched his pillows to my chest when the door closed, leaving me in darkness. My whole life was fucking ruined and they had all seen me at my worst. I’d almost gone feral on Jerry for destroying my nest on top of everything else he had done. I was absolutely certain I had ruined the pack perception of me with my behavior, but my only regret was that I hadn’t taken a chunk out of Jerry when I had the chance. Amir had stopped me, and logically I knew that was for the best, but I was also really fucking pissed and aching. My chest was scooped out, hollow, and I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring.
I burrowed under Kai’s blankets and cried myself to sleep.
I woke up feeling like a truck had run me over, backed up, and run me over again. My body was stiff and my throat was dry, my eyes burning and my skin itching with the need to be touched. I had spent the night away from a fresh bond and my body was punishing me for it. Maybe all of the symptoms of agony would have been cured by Kai’s presence, but I couldn’t have handled it just yet.
The cinnamon in his room smelled wrong. I needed him to freshen it. I peeked out into the hall, finding the house silent. I didn’t dare approach Amir’s door, and turned down the hall to Diego’s, finding it slightly ajar, with him and Kai fast asleep in the massive bed. Nutmeg, clove, and cinnamon filled my nose when I poked my head in, teasing all of my instincts to life.
I was still humiliated from yesterday, but I needed them right now. Hopefully they wouldn’t turn me away.
I crawled up the bed and wedged myself between them on top of the blankets.
Diego cracked open one sleepy eye. “Good morning, precious.”
I pressed my face to the blankets and mumbled a good morning back.
“Are you wanting to start the day already or can we have a cuddle first?”
“Cuddle is good,” I said, still not daring to look at him.
“Climb under,” he said quietly, nudging back the blankets as I navigated to get beneath them. He sighed tiredly and drew me closer until he was curled around me, my back to his chest. Diego’s purr rumbled, almost too soft to hear, but I could feel it nonetheless.
Kai rolled toward me, his eyes still closed, like he was seeking me out in his sleep. The two alphas sandwiched me together and even my embarrassment couldn’t stop my purr.
This was exactly what I needed, but had been too stubborn to accept the night before. The room was drenched in the scent of their spices, the bed warm with the heat of their bodies.
So comfy.
I need to pull them into my nest.
My purr stuttered as I realized I didn’t have a nest anymore. Kai had promised me a new one, and realistically my old one would’ve been tainted anyway, but I had built it over years, creating the perfect sanctuary for myself in the apartment.
Kai groaned and shifted closer, lifting his hand to cup the back of my head. He kissed my forehead and sighed. “I’m sorry you’re so sad, little dove.”
I set a palm over his heart, feeling the steady beat beneath my fingers. I hated that he could feel what I did. Kai didn’t deserve any of what I was going through.
“Did you not like my room?” he asked softly.
“It smells funny.”
He chuckled. “I’ll wash all of the bedding for you.”
“No, it just needs you to refresh it.”
He blinked slowly at me, his golden brown eyes tired but gentle. “Is that your way of saying you missed me?”
My cheeks heated. “I?—”
“Don’t tease her.” Diego dragged me closer, making me all too aware that certain parts of him were much more awake than others. Desire curled in my belly, but things were different now. The heat was over and I didn’t know how to approach anything of that nature with them.
“I’m not teasing,” said Kai. “It’s pretty early. Are we getting up for the day?”
“I was trying to get her to sleep more, but apparently we’re all awake,” Diego huffed.
“Breakfast? I can cook if you give me a quick tour of the kitchen.”
“You’re only cooking if you desperately want to,” said Kai. “If it’s something you enjoy, that’s fine, but if it’s not, I want you to let us take care of everything.”
“I mean, I can cook, but it’s not necessarily my favorite chore.”
“Then you don’t have to worry about it here,” Kai insisted. “What can I make for you?”
“Chocolate chip pancakes?”
“I’m pretty sure we have everything for that, and if not I’ll dip out to the grocery store. Are you okay to stay here with Diego or do you want to come down with me?”
The bed was extremely comfortable, but I was also very curious about the pack house. “Can Diego show me the house?”
“I absolutely can, precious.” He sat up slowly, as if reluctant to move away from me, stretching his arms above his head. The movement highlighted the muscles of his torso and I couldn’t help but stare.
He slid out of bed, leaned over to scoop his arms beneath me, and dragged me over to the edge. I squeaked, wrapping myself around him so I didn’t fall when he hoisted me up.
“I’m going to run you a bath and I’ll go get your suitcase so you can change into some fresh clothes for the day. Unless you would rather wear something of Kai’s.”
It took a half second for my brain to process the statement, initially wondering why I would want to, before my instincts caught up, screaming yes! in the back of my brain.
“Does that delicious scent of candied apple mean you would like something of his?” Diego asked.
My cheeks warmed again, and I nodded as small as I could while still being perceptible.
Kai dug through Diego’s dresser and pulled out an oversized T-shirt. “I’ll wear it while I cook and bring it up for you before you get out of the bath.”
Kai kissed the top of my head before departing and Diego turned me toward the bathroom. An enormous bath sat beneath an archway with a copper chandelier above it and copper mosaic covering the alcove where the bathtub was nestled. A separate shower with warm brown stone and matching cabinetry filled the rest of the space. It was better than any hotel I’d stayed in before.
Diego got the water running and added a splash of pumpkin spice bubble bath.
“You take bubble baths?”
“You think omegas are the only ones allowed to be luxurious?”
“No, it’s just a little unexpected.”
He politely stepped out into the bedroom while I stripped off my clothes from yesterday and slid into the warm water. Diego let me soak, and I could hear him bustling around, but he didn’t come back in until I was thoroughly relaxed and my fingers were pruney. He set down two fluffy towels on the edge of the bath along with the shirt Kai had gone downstairs in. Then he brought in my suitcase, leaving it next to everything else.
“I’ll be in the bedroom when you’re ready.”
The towels were like clouds and I dried myself off slowly to enjoy them before locating fresh underwear in my suitcase and pulling Kai’s shirt on over top. It smelled deliciously of his cinnamon scent and hung to my mid-thigh, making it more dress than shirt. I debated for a moment whether I should wear shorts beneath it, but I had worn dresses this long with just panties. The light was wavering outside the windows, a tell that the day was going to be blistering hot. No need to add more layers than necessary in that case.
Diego’s gaze swept over me and my whole body reacted to his attention, goosebumps raising down my arms and my stomach clenching. “No one’s ever looked so good in my clothes before. Come on, precious; let’s get you acquainted with your new home.”
We started with the balcony outside his room that overlooked the pool. It was so tidy, cut in a perfect rectangle with white tile around the edge and centered in the courtyard I had seen bits of yesterday.
“Kai’s room has the same view as mine,” he told me. “Miles and Amir face the front lawn.”
“I don’t know how so many people can have grass in the desert.”
Diego leaned down, whispering conspiratorially, “Don’t tell anyone, but the grass is fake. We weren’t going to waste that much water out here. The few plants we do have are watered by an underground irrigation system so they use way less water and they were all picked for their ability to thrive in drought conditions.”
“Well, that’s a relief. I was about to judge you guys.”
Diego laughed and looped his arm around my shoulders, taking me back inside and down the gorgeous rounded staircase. There was an old-timey movie theater tucked behind it, with red velvet stage curtains, plush leather seating, and a popcorn machine ready for use.
“You can pick whatever we watch for your first movie night with us,” Diego told me.
The scent of chocolate filled the air.
“Smells like breakfast might be ready.” Diego ushered me into their exquisite kitchen, where Kai was flipping pancakes shirtless, looking more like a snack than the food he was preparing.
“Perfect timing.” He smiled at me, depositing three stacked pancakes on a plate with multiple others. He had also prepared another plate with bacon and a bowl of cut fruit along with a pitcher of juice.
“I’ll go wake the others,” said Diego, leaving me with Kai.
“Come pick anything you want,” said Kai.
I moved slowly around the island to stand next to him, and he wrapped his arms around me, pressing me to his chest. “I know we can’t fix everything, but I hope you’ll let us try. I really want you to be happy here.” Heat sparked in his gaze that dropped to my lips.
I wanted his kiss but I was frozen, looking up at him, unable to bridge that gap.
“Can I?” he asked quietly, his thumb brushing against my bottom lip, sending shivers through me.
I nodded, closing my eyes as he descended toward me until a rush of cinnamon on my tongue unlocked my limbs. I wrapped my arms around his neck, gasping against his mouth when he scooped me up to set me on the counter.
He tasted so fucking good.
“As delicious as her cunt was, I don’t really want it all over my breakfast.”
Every inch of me locked up with embarrassment, pulling away from Kai to see Amir, Miles, and Diego descending the stairs.
“Don’t listen to Amir, little dove.” Kai dropped a quick kiss to my lips before helping me get my feet on the floor again. “He’s just jealous he’s not the one you’re kissing.”