Chapter 36
I paused to watch the pack, taking them in as they huddled around their laptops before they noticed me. They were all so sweet, wonderful really. The sort of men I’d fantasized about in my younger years, ones I’d never dreamed I’d actually find, and so I’d settled for the charming smile of a man who ended up caring nothing for me in the end. But these men? They cared. And I…well, the word for what I was beginning to feel was far too early to say. They were a unit, but I wasn’t with each of them in the same way.
At some point that was a conversation we’d need to have. Kai and Diego seemed perfectly happy to grow a relationship with me, and Amir was giving it a chance, but Miles made no sense at all. Even if he wanted me, he’d made no move to pursue anything. He was a scent match too, but that didn’t mean we had to be together.
I leaned against the archway, staying silent to observe as long as I could. I’d never really felt at home anywhere, not with the people or places surrounding me, as a child or adult, but I had simply compressed myself to fit the way I needed to. Now I had no box holding me in and I had a craving to learn who I was, who I could be with these men by my side.
We had time for a lot of things, but some issues were closing in quickly, and as much as I’d love to court forever, and coax Miles out of his shell to see if he wanted to court too, it would have to wait.
Kai noticed me first, and the second he locked eyes on me, it broke the spell and all the others looked over as well.
“How are the job hunts going?” I asked, crossing the kitchen toward them slowly.
“Really fucking hard when we can’t say what we’ve actually been doing the last few years.” Amir dropped his chin into his palm, staring bitterly at the screen.
“I know a lot of helpful freelance skills if anyone wants lessons in something,” I offered.
“I feel like starting from scratch with something like that would be even better than trying to go back to a job at my old company,” Amir said with a sigh.
“Too bad we can’t just start our own company,” I said with a laugh.
They all stared at me with an unnerving intensity.
“What?”
“Okay,” Diego said, “I know you said that as a joke but we do actually have all the skills we would need to do that. We would just need an investor.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. We can’t actually do that… Can we?”
“That would probably depend on what we want this company to do,” said Kai.
“Are you suggesting we create a company that does live shows?” Miles asked.
I swirled the idea around in my head a bit. “I do have a degree in cinematography. And we have a house full of performers, though I’m not entirely sure how that would work because I super do not want any of you fucking other omegas.”
“I’ll look into some things,” promised Miles. “The seed is planted, at the very least. I know how everything runs and it would be a pretty simple matter to secure everything we would need to do it ourselves. It’s only the financial side of things that might make it difficult to get off the ground.”
“It was silly anyway,” I added.
“Not really,” said Amir. “It’s something that uses all our skills and experience. Just because it’s not easy to start doesn’t mean it’s a dumb idea.”
I sat with the concept, trying to sort out how I actually felt about it. If they were going to do it, I would have to do it too, and that would put me front and center again in a live show. I wasn’t an actress by any means, but I could do a killer video edit, and the live shows were livestreamed. There were bound to be people who wanted a more tailored version, but then maybe part of the allure was that it was completely unfiltered.
“We still have to figure out the contracts,” Miles reminded everyone.
“How much would the contract buyout be?” Kai asked.
“About three times as much as we have in the pack account right now.”
“Give us an actual number,” said Diego.
“Hundred grand for each of you. Well, I guess only two hundred total is needed since they want to terminate Kai, so we don’t have to buy out that contract.”
“That’s still bullshit,” Kai grumbled.
“How many heats were you contracted for?” I asked.
“Six per year with options to fill in as needed,” Miles replied. “Yours was their fourth of the year.”
“It’s ridiculous they can charge that much when we only had two heats left. We don’t make fifty grand each during those,” Amir huffed.
“So you have enough to buy out one contract in the pack account right now, and I can buy out one with my tips. That would cover everyone?”
Miles frowned. “We could do that, but then we would have no assets at all.”
“What other choice is there?” Kai asked.
“Not much of one,” Miles conceded.
As nervous as I was about them losing their income, knowing it would be impossible for me to support all of us, I laid it out anyway. “Miles and I both have jobs. Mine doesn’t pay incredibly well, but I can contribute. Maybe with some strict budgeting we’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want to have to budget during your courting period,” Diego said sadly. “You should be spoiled.”
“I’ve already been spoiled. Now we have to take a serious look at making sure our little family is going to make it.”
“We’re supposed to be taking care of you ,” Kai insisted. “That’s what alphas do.”
“And you can still take care of me, but once we’re no longer staring down the barrel of this particular gun.”
None of them looked too happy, but we would have to work together on this, and that included me helping however I could. Before we looked at moving into a cheaper home or making any drastic choices, we needed to find out what all we could afford.
The monthly mortgage payment on the pack house was outrageous. Right now they could cover it for about a year, well, significantly less with the contract buyouts. Miles and I could cover the necessities outside of the mortgage, but if we didn’t get some steady income flow, we wouldn’t be able to keep this house.
We poked briefly at the real estate market, and it was a huge relief that we had options big enough to suit us that were much more viable financially.
“Why don’t we take a break and discuss?” I offered. “We could float in the pool for a bit and see what ideas we come up with.”
“Might as well make use of the pool while we still have it.” Amir sighed.
We broke apart to get changed and reconvened in the courtyard, rinsing off beneath the deck shower before slipping into the water. Miles passed me one of the numerous floats and I clung onto it, lazily swishing my feet.
“Do you think we could do anything to get them to release the contracts without a buyout?” I asked.
“It’s hard to say,” replied Miles. “Plenty of people have left over time. Most just finish out their contract, but a few left early. They’re just going to be reluctant because the last heat was the most lucrative the company has ever had with that bonding.”
I perked up. Maybe the solution was staring us in the face.
“What if we gave them another one just like that?”
All four of them stared at me.
“My next heat was due in about two months when I was given the serum. I’m not sure if it throws off the schedule, but it’s not like management would have to wait a year to get us back on stage. They want you to keep performing. If I offered to do another heat, then you would be able to, and Diego already said he wanted to bond me in the next heat.”
I watched each of them process the suggestion.
“Anecdotally, the serum only pushes back an omega’s regular heat cycle about a week, so you’d still be due in a bit over a month,” Miles told me. “Do you actually want to do another performance?”
“I…I don’t really know. I had fun with the last one, and it would be less chaotic if we did another.”
“A natural heat could be more intense.” Amir’s gaze was hot on me and I was grateful for the pool so I could get out my nervous energy with fidgeting he wouldn’t notice. “You’ve never had one when you’ve been around alphas beforehand and the serum doesn’t trigger it to the same degree.”
I squeaked, warmth suffusing me when I forced my gaze to match his. “How could it be more intense?”
Diego floated up behind me, pulling me against his chest, my nerves buzzing at his nearness. “You’ll definitely find out. Your preheat phase will probably be a bit wild now that you have a bonded alpha, plus the rest of us in the house.” His lips on my ear had me perfuming, my whole body tightening.
“We would be prepared for everything this time,” Miles pointed out, and I struggled to pay attention to his words while Diego nipped along my shoulder. “You wouldn’t get bonded out of the blue again.”
Diego licked over the curve of my throat. “You want me to bond you in public?”
“You’re making it so hard to think.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, precious.”
“Do you want to bond me in public?”
His purr rumbled against my skin. “Do I want to claim you in front of everyone, put my mark on your skin, and show the world you’re mine? Hmm, let me think really hard about it.”
Diego bit right on the spot he’d told me he wanted to mark me when he and Kai’d had me stretched across the kitchen island. My brain turned into pure mush, my head tipping back to rest on his shoulder as his hands swept up my body. I wanted to have the same connection with him that I did with Kai, to feel all that desire of his pounding through me alongside my own.
“We’re supposed to be discussing, not fucking.” Amir whacked Diego with one of the pool noodles. “Let her have a clear head for this.”
“Fine,” Diego sighed, but he still didn’t let go of me.
“To clarify,” said Amir, “do you want to be bonded in public, or are you only offering this because you want to get us out of our contracts?”
“Um, I mean, obviously everything would be more comfortable in private, but once the heat hit onstage, I forgot to be nervous. If you all want to, I’ll do it. I might be suggesting it to get us out of a desperate situation, but I did that once and I can do it again. At least this time I know all of you and what to expect.”
Diego purred quietly, the sweetness of the sound settling my worries.
“What do you expect from me?” Amir asked.
“I know you’re not ready to bond. I’d never ask you to do that before you want to, let alone to get out of your contract.”
He lapsed into thoughtful silence, staring at me with heat again. I felt his gaze like the blistering rays of the desert sun, sliding over my skin, ready to burn me if I let it touch me too long.
Kai snatched my ankle between his feet, pulling me through the water toward him, Diego trailing beside me. “I’m not opposed to the idea of having your next heat on stage. At the very least it would give us more time to sort out a long-term plan.”
“Question.”
I turned to Amir. “Hmm?”
“Totally tell me to fuck off if you’re not into the idea, but I was thinking about something you said when we were getting your stuff from LA. To be clear, I don’t want you to think what I’m about to say has anything to do with the fact that the management would be all over the idea. It’s just something we should all consider.”
“Well, spit it out,” I said with a nervous laugh. “What is it?”
“You said you almost had a baby with your ex, and a natural heat with no birth control would draw a massive crowd, spike the ticket prices, and make you the hottest commodity in the city.”
I tensed, and the rest of the pack froze, staring at Amir.
“Do you want to have children with the pack?”
“Oh god. Uh, well…” A confusing mix of emotions flowed down the bond from Kai. “I do want to be a mother. I’ve wanted that since I was little, thinking about how I would give my child a life where they never had to wonder why their mother didn’t like them as much as their sister.”
Kai crushed me between him and Diego.
I continued quietly, the words sticking in my throat, the pack moving closer to hear. “I’m really glad I didn’t end up getting pregnant during my last heat with Jerry. That was the first time we’d tried. Looking back, I can’t believe we tried at all. I don’t know why he’d have even wanted to when he ended things so easily.” I huffed out a shaky breath. “Enough about him, though. I don’t need to have a child if you all don’t want one.”
I glanced at each of them, and Diego looked like he was ready to eat me.
“Precious, the hot second you give me the go-ahead to bond and breed you, I’m going to fucking take it.”
Kai’s cock rose to full attention against me. “Before we talk kids, I think there’s one more thing to add, because as much as I absolutely want to breed you like the perfect omega you are, I also need you to know that I love you. I need that to be clear before anything else.”
I barely dared to breathe. “You love me?”
“I’m surprised you’ve never felt it through the bond, but yes.” Kai smoothed my hair behind my ear.
I hadn’t heard those words for a long time.
“I love you, I want you to stay with us, and I’d love any child you brought into our family.”
“Well, if we’re going for love confessions, I’m going to join,” said Diego, “because I love you too, precious.”
My eyes burned as I looped an arm around each of them. I wasn’t entirely certain I’d ever felt love before. I didn’t trust myself with my history, but I did feel affection pulsing in the bond, and I saw it in their eyes.
Be brave, Callie.
“I love you both, too.”
Diego’s purr was like thunder in my ear.
“I don’t have a confession of my own,” said Amir, “not yet, anyway, but I have no opposition to you having kids with the pack. I actually like kids.”
That admission shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. “You like kids?”
“I might not have a gaggle of them around me anymore, but I babysat a hell of a lot through high school. I can handle anything from infant to teen like a pro.”
His words gave me the cutest mental image of his arms full of small children, with more clinging to his ankles. If I did have children with the pack, as nice as it was that Kai and Diego were very on board with the idea, I needed all of them to want it.
“Miles, you’ve been so quiet. What are you thinking?” I asked.
“A hell of a lot more than I should be thinking, considering we haven’t even had sex yet,” he confessed with a laugh.
“Does that mean you’d be on board with breeding our precious omega?” Diego asked.
The look of longing and desire that swept over Miles’s face had hope surging in my chest. He’d been keeping himself so separate since I’d come into the picture, and maybe before, for all I knew, but he was my scent match too. I wanted all of them to want this, to want me .
“I don’t want you to feel rushed or pressured when it comes to an important decision like this,” Miles said. “I’d never forgive myself if you pushed yourself to do this because of something I did to fuck all of us up. We’ll work something else out if we have to.”
“ Miles ,” I said firmly, “I’m ready if you’re ready. I don’t want you to feel pressured to agree with it, though.”
“I don’t,” he promised.
He and I really needed to have a long private conversation about everything. If we were going to do this, I needed him to accept me and stop pulling away. “There’s no guarantee I would even get pregnant during this heat. I didn’t during my last natural one.”
“In fairness,” said Kai, “that heat was with a beta asshole who probably didn’t give two shits about your pleasure, and everyone knows you’re much more likely to conceive if you have the best time of your fucking life.”
I choked on my laugh. “You’re not wrong.”
“Plus,” Diego added, “you’re going to have four extremely motivated alphas trying to breed you. I’d say the odds are a lot higher in that case.”
“Four?” I squeaked.
“I assumed Miles would be part of that. Am I wrong?”
Miles was red as a beet, and I was sure I looked about the same.
“Are you suggesting I perform onstage with all of you?” Miles asked.
Diego nodded. “I think it’s only fair that if the pack is going to breed Callie, you get a chance too if she wants you there. Besides, wouldn’t management be more into the idea if we had at least one newbie? Half the fun for the audience is all of those authentic reactions to brand-new stuff. You would be perfect. What do you think, precious? Do you want Miles there for your heat?”
How was I supposed to answer that when I hadn’t even kissed him yet? “Theoretically yes, but I don’t really want all my first times of the entire pack to be on stage.”
Amir chuckled. “Pretty sure if Miles had to wait until then, he might have blue balls so bad he couldn’t even use his dick anymore. Either that or he would spill the second he gets his hands on you.”
“Okay, let’s get back to the actual conversation at hand,” Miles said in a strangled voice. “I have no issue if Callie wants to have kids with our pack. If she wants me to be a part of her heat onstage, I’ll make it work.”
“Miles, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I assured him.
“Oh, trust me, I want to. I might change my mind when confronted with the stage fright, but I don’t want you to mistake that and think that I don’t want you .”
“I kind of thought that anyway,” I murmured. “Feels like we’ve been playing a game of tag, and you don’t wanna be caught.”
Miles swallowed hard. “That has nothing to do with you. I’m just trying to figure things out in my own head, and there’s a lot of mess up there.”
“Can you come here, please?”
Miles swam over, and Kai and Diego released their holds on me. I wasn’t tall enough to touch the bottom of the pool here, but Miles was. I let my forearms rest on his shoulders, his hands moving to my waist automatically.
“We have to figure things out between us, okay? You’re my scent match as much as the others, and I want to give us a chance, so please stop running away.”
“Okay,” he said it so quietly I could barely hear. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I was a wrench thrown into all of your lives. I just don’t want to bring a child into things, or try to, if I’m not confident in the direction things are moving with all of you.”
Miles nodded, his thumbs sweeping softly against my skin beneath the water. “Can I take you away before the heat? A weekend that’s just the two of us?”
“I would love that.” I leaned in to kiss him and he didn’t retreat, his mountain air scent thick around us even with the water diluting most of it. His mouth was tentative, but I felt the hunger simmering there, barely held back and betrayed by the shake of his hands.
When I pulled back, he still looked nervous, but he kept me close anyway. “Don’t offer everything to management at once. Offer one term to start, and only add if they don’t agree. Hopefully getting you bonded is all they need, but it’s good to know we have other options in our back pocket to sweeten the deal.”
“I can do that. So, to reiterate,” I said, glancing between my mates, “we’re on board with a heat onstage, and we’re all happy with a potential pregnancy coming out of it?”
My alphas all nodded.
“All right, then. Miles, get me a meeting with management. I have some assholes to persuade.”