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Mom gets sicker. Her white blood cells that battle infection plummet from the chemotherapy. She gets admitted to the ICU for sepsis, sleeping for endless hours as her body struggles to fight off the bacteria in her bloodstream.
I stay by her bedside, which has a strange smell to it, roses mixed with something spicy. Almost like a man’s cologne. I’m scared that if I step away for one second I might come back to find her dead. The nurses kick me out of the room, insisting that I go to the cafeteria for food or home to sleep.
Mr. Chen picks up homework from my teachers and brings it to me in the hospital. He stays with Mom when I go to school to take tests I can’t delay. It’s what my mom would have wanted, for me to keep up with my schoolwork as best as I can.
Mr. Chen holds me when it all becomes too much and I cry hopelessly in the hallway outside my mother’s room. I don’t want to cry in front of my mom, which is silly because she’s unconscious. Superstitiously, I think that if I stay strong in my mother’s presence it will convince her to come back to me. Like I can magically transfer my strength to her. I want to go back to the old days, twirling around the kitchen in her arms. I would do anything to keep my mother alive, even make a deal with the devil.
Miraculously, she pulls through. The antibiotics that slowly drip into her IV defeat the germs raging through her body. She opens her hazel eyes to find me sleeping in the chair beside her. My mother goes from the ICU to the regular medical floor, then to a rehabilitation hospital, and finally home.
Mr. Chen demands that Mom move into his apartment because she’s too weak to climb up the stairs. He makes a bed for her in his office, with the mattress pressed up against the bent spines of his books. The musty smell of old books blends with the musty smell of sickness in the room.
Relentlessly, the medical bills keep rolling in. I sell my mom’s old car. I sell our furniture and extra clothing. I let go of the apartment and move in with Mr. Chen, sleeping in the same bed as my mom and swearing I’ll pay half the rent once I get more money. He refuses to accept the little bit of cash that I offer.
“Tiffany, dear, you and your mother are my family now,” Mr. Chen tells me. “This is what family does. We take care of each other.”
His words make me cry all over again.