Chapter 23 #2
When I get to the café, my dad is already seated with a spread of pastries and the iced matcha latte he knows I like. He waves me over, and I drop into the seat across from him with a small groan.
He looks better than when I first got back from Paris, like he’s been sleeping more. Part of me wants to encourage him to get out there and explore dating.
He was such a young dad when he had me—barely eighteen. He still has plenty of years to be happy again, but he’s never warmed to the idea of moving on from my mom. So whatever he’s got going on, it’s probably some random hobby my aunt turned him onto.
‘How are you?’ he asks.
I shrug. ‘Fine.’
‘Rome,’ he signs with a warning look.
‘I’m fine,’ I emphasize. ‘Nothing new. Business is fine. Nothing on fire. No crisis. Everything’s running smoothly.’
He rolls his eyes. ‘I know that. I’m talking about you.’ He gestures to all of me. ‘You look…’ His fingers hover.
I brace myself. ‘What?’
‘Happy.’
That hits me like a punch in the gut. My dad’s been around the Deaf community so long that he didn’t pull back his blunt last time when he told me I looked worn and tired.
So if I look happy, that must be the truth.
‘I think I am.’
His face brightens. ‘Tell me all.’
It takes me a moment to work my courage into my fingers, but eventually, I do, and then everything sort of flows like a river.
How I met Dex—sans all the dirty parts, because he doesn’t need to know that.
But I tell him how much I hated him and how much that conflicted with how badly I wanted to know him.
I tell him what it was like coming back and seeing him, and then the dates.
He bursts into laughter when I tell him about failing to get straight As.
‘That must make you want to scream,’ he signs emphatically.
‘You have no idea,’ I admit. ‘I have one more to go.’
He tilts his head to the side as he regards me. ‘He’s still grading you even after you’re boyfriends?’
I shrug. ‘I don’t know. Maybe not. I want the A+ for me. I’ll make him give me a grade.’
He laughs again. ‘You are definitely my son.’
I like when he says that. He’s such a good man, and he never deserved a life so damn lonely. I, on the other hand, probably did. Up until now, anyway.
‘Where is he now? I want to meet him.’
‘He’s at work,’ I tell him. I make a mental note to send Dex a message after I’m done here to check in. He usually shoots me something by now, so I’m feeling a little worried.
Not about us. I actually do feel safe about that. But something in my gut is squirming, and I don’t know why.
‘I need a favor,’ I say when I give my dad my attention. He nods for me to go on. ‘I want to tell him how I feel.’
His mouth is clearly fighting off a smile. ‘How do you feel?’
‘I don’t know if it’s fair that I tell you before Dex.’
His nose flares as he snorts. ‘Understand. I don’t think you need to make it complicated.’
‘No. I don’t want complicated. I want deep. Important. Real. Maybe he wants a big gesture.’
‘No,’ my dad signs quickly. ‘Not that. You would never fall for a man who wanted someone to be all show.’
He’s not wrong. I’ve avoided people like that my entire life. My ex was that in spades. How things looked was more important than how things were.
Dex is the complete opposite.
‘Do you think ILY will be enough for him?’ I ask.
My dad frowns. ‘What do you mean? Would he prefer you to voice?’
I quickly shake my head. ‘He likes my voice, but he doesn’t ask for it. Not ever.’
More tension fades from my dad’s shoulders. ‘I really want to meet him now.’
‘Soon. Promise. But…’
He waves his hand to interrupt mine. ‘ILY is enough. You know him better than I do. Don’t doubt yourself.’
He’s right. And I have been on the verge of doubting that I can be or will be good at this. Or, at least, good enough for what Dex deserves. But maybe I was shit at it before because the moment wasn’t right.
He’s been worth fighting for this entire time. Even spending three years away, I never let him go.
So why wouldn’t simple words and simple signs be exactly what he needs?
I feel myself smiling and try to hide it when my dad waggles his brows at me, but fuck it. I’m allowed to show that I’m happy too.
‘Let me see when he’s free next. You can come over for dinner.’
‘Does he cook?’
I wrinkle my nose. ‘A little. Not the best. I’ll help.’
He laughs again as I grab my phone out of my pocket and swipe open the screen. I hadn’t realized I’d turned off the vibration and put it on do not disturb, which was apparently a mistake.
And not just a little mistake. A fucking massive mistake. There are thirteen missed FaceTime calls between Robbie and Thom, and several hysterical messages.
I get through exactly two before I stand up, sending the chair flying behind me. My dad grabs my arm before I can bolt.
‘What’s wrong?’ he demands.
My eyes are wild and wide, and my heart is hammering in my chest so hard I can feel the echoing beat in my jaw. My fingers tremble as I lift them to sign.
‘There’s been a fire at the gym. I need to go. I think Dex is hurt.’
My dad offers to drive me, but I can’t let him.
I need to do it. I have to have something to focus on, or I’m going to lose my mind.
Luckily, our town is small, so I take less than seven minutes to get from the café to PUMPT, but I don’t even make it to the entrance of the street before I’m stopped by fire trucks.
There’s black billowing smoke in the distance, and the air is foggy from the wind, taking clouds of it across the neighborhood.
Pulling off to the side, I wrench open my door and start running. I don’t see flames, but everything smells like hot metal and rubber and other burning things. I feel like screaming, and hell, maybe I am.
I can’t really tell.
All I know is that I have to get through the gathering crowd in the parking lot to see where Dex is.
This cannot be happening.
I can’t lose him. Not now. Not before he knows how I feel. Not before he knows how much he changed my life.
Not at all.
I see one of the PUMPT employees in the distance, so I make a loud shout. It must be annoying enough because he turns, and his eyes go wide when he sees me.
‘Dex?’ I sign, fingers shaking and frantic.
‘Where?’ He frowns, and I want to punch something because he can’t understand.
I clear my throat. “Where’s Dex?” I have no idea how clear I sound, nor do I care.
I don’t have time to remember fucking tongue placement and how much air to push out of my lungs.
The guy shakes his head, but before I can freak the fuck out, he points across a row of cars toward one of three ambulances, and that’s when I see him.
He’s far off, but from where I’m standing, he looks okay. Mostly. There’s a dark smudge on his cheek, and he’s holding on to an oxygen mask. He’s in his gym clothes—the Lycra intact, but he’s barefoot for some fucking reason.
I abandon all sense and begin running toward him. I feel someone grab at me, but when it comes to Dex, I’m too fast. I’m too desperate. I expertly dodge them and barrel toward my boyfriend.
He sees me just as I pass the first row of cars separating us, and he’s out of the ambulance and on his feet as I slam into him. His arms come around me tightly, the fingers of one hand digging into my hair, pulling softly, keeping me against him like he needs me to breathe.
Which, shit! He probably needs the oxygen he dropped to breathe.
I shove him away and see the outrage on his face for a brief flash before bending down to grab the mask. I shove it at him, and he rolls his eyes as he leans back against the ambulance and stares at me.
‘You’re alive,’ I finally sign. My hands are shaking so hard they’re difficult to understand.
‘I’m okay.’
‘Are you?’ I demand.
He takes a deep breath from the mask, then drops it beside him. When I lunge for it again, he catches me and shakes his head. ‘I’m okay. I don’t need it. Barely inhaled any smoke.’
I’m not sure I believe him. I want to trust him, but fuck, I had never been so scared in my life. Stepping closer, I run my fingers over his cheeks, his chest, and down his arms, where his fingers link with mine.
He squeezes them tight and holds on.
“You’re okay,” I say aloud.
He laughs and nods. “I’m okay.”
I read the words off his lips perfectly, then detach one hand from his and trace his mouth before dipping in to kiss him. He tastes like ash and toothpaste.
After a beat, he eases me back. ‘Did Thom call?’
‘Thom, Robbie,’ I say. ‘Sent FaceTime and text. I was with my dad, and my notifications were off. I’m so sorry.’
He cups my chin with his hand and kisses me once more. ‘Better that you took your time. It was chaos for a while until they got the fire out.’
That’s when I realize the billowing smoke is clearing. Glancing to the left, it looks like only the right side of the gym was caught up in the fire. It was where the fitness classrooms were.
‘What happened?’ I demand.
Dex shrugs. ‘No idea. The alarms started going off right in the middle of my class, so I got everyone out, but then I realized one of the doors in the free-weight room was jammed shut, and there were people inside. We got it open, and everyone got out, but that’s when a beam fell and pinned my shoelaces. I lost my shoes.’
I don’t even want to think about what might have happened if the beam had fallen on anything other than his damn shoelaces. I want to bend down and kiss his feet.
‘Anyone hurt?’ I finally ask.
He shakes his head. ‘No. But this is going to cost me a fortune to repair. We have to close until we figure out how much damage.’ His eyes go a little watery, and I realize how bad this could be for him.
Tugging him close, I let him sag against my chest, and I rock back and forth until his muscles start to unclench. I think I might have been humming. My throat feels a little buzzy from it.
When he pulls back, he swipes his hand down his face. ‘I’m sorry for getting upset.’
‘No. Don’t.’ Biting my lip, I look over my shoulder at the crowd. It’s smaller now, though the trucks have blocked most of the patrons from being able to leave. ‘Want to go home soon?’
Dex heaves a sigh. ‘Yes. I want a long shower. No. Bath. Long bath.’
‘Yes.’
‘And comfort food.’
I nod.
He meets my gaze, and his lips move with his signs, ‘And you?’
‘I’m yours,’ I promise him. ‘Now?’
He looks crushed. ‘I have to talk to the firefighters and find out the next steps. It could be a while.’
‘I’ll wait for you,’ I tell him.
He takes my hands and kisses both palms, then both wrists. ‘Go back to the condo,’ he tells me when he lets go. ‘Check on Dennis. Order some good food and wait for me.’
I don’t want to leave him, but I realize I can do more—do something better—if I listen to him. Leaning in, I snag one more fierce, furious kiss before pressing my forehead against his and nodding. “I’ll make it good for you. So good,” I tell him aloud.
He sighs against me, and his lips move, but he doesn’t sign what he’s saying, and for now, I don’t ask. Whatever it is can wait. We have the rest of our lives, and tonight, I plan to make him forget all about this.